Getting out of a joint mortgage because of an affair and stress?

nowhereman

Hi,

I'm experiencing difficulties in which my fiance is having an affair and told me she wants to sell our house and seperate. Because of the situation I am off work with stress, she isn't helping me at all and left me in the position that I do not want to be part of the house anymore and want to escape it now. I threatened to leave the house for her to keep but she said I am legally bound to pay it and that she will get a solicitor to make me pay as it is a joint mortgage. I am happy to let the house go for a repossession but she doesn't and would rather me endure months and months of pain of being stuck in the house. Have I no option but to sit it out trying to sell the house? The whole situation is making me ill from stress as we have been together for 6 years (living in the house for 2). Can I get up and leave or do I have to carry on paying the mortgage?

Thank you

beecher

You can't get up and leave as it is a joint mortgage so you're half responsible for it regardless of your fiance's affair. How much equity do you have? If you put it up for sale at a realistic price it might sell quickly - can you afford to sell it for less than you paid 2 years ago? The stress and pain of repossession is likely to be much more than selling up would be.

nowhereman

so basically I can't force myself out and get the house repossessed? She can get a solicitor to make me pay?

beecher

Getting the house repossessed isn't the easy option. Why not just sell up?

char9

I really feel for you - I was in a similar situation last year and ended up having to live with my ex for three months while he was already seeing someone else and it was hellish.

However, while I know you find this situation unbearable I really would suggest you try to think of your own future, since you are the only person who can look out for you in this situation. If you were to try get the house repossesed you will be leaving yourself in a weak financial position for years to come, and, I think but experts may be able to correct me on this, could still be pursued for more money from the lender if they sell it and the price falls short.

At least if you eventually sell it you can start again more easily in the future. Or would she consider buying you out?

I know all you want is for this awful situation to be over - but if at all possible try and base this decision on what will be best for you when it comes to rebuilding your life again.

silvercar

Does your fiance work? Have enough income to pay the mortgage?

If so and you move out, a court could well decide that she should be renting half the house from you and you paying half the mortgage!

This doesn't negate your responsibilities to the mortgage but does mean that you may be able to afford to rent elsewhere.

There was a thread on this recently.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1314091&highlight=oil

nowhereman

Neither of us can afford to pay the mortgage on our own. I am prepared to work with her to sell up. If I were to move out of the house and let her move in can I say I will only pay half the mortgage and council tax until it sells? After all she would be using the electricity, gas, water, phone, sky tv etc..?

PaulLuke

Just a word of warning.

It does not come across clearly in the answers but you are (in legal terms) joinly and severally liable for the mortgage. This means that the mortgage company can ask you to each pay the full amount of the mortgage, not just 50%. Also, it is correct that if the house gets repossessed and sold for less than the outstanding mortgage the mortgage company could chase either/both of you to make good their loss.

I know it is a difficult situation but I do think your suggestion of moving out, assuming you really can't live in the house with her, and offering to cover half the cost of the mortgage would be the best option. Incidentally, remember council tax gets reduced fro single occupancy.

Rick62

Most the advice here is rubbish, except for Paul Luke.

You are jointly and severally liable, i.e. the lender could go after you or your ex or both of you for the full amount. If the house is repossessed they will sell it cheaply and come after either or both of you for the rest.

It is highly unlikely that she could get a solicitor to make you do anything, you are not married so this would only happen if you had drawn up an agreement to keep paying the mortgage.

I'm not clear if your ex in the house as well as you. If you need to move out for your mental health then you should do so - but keep this seperate from the finances. Agree with her to get the place sold quickly, you selling it will get a better price than it being repossessed. She can't force you to do anything, but don't let a ruined relationship also ruin your finances for the rest of your lives.

beecher

Rick62 wrote: »

Most the advice here is rubbish, except for Paul Luke.
.

That's nice. Most have advised the OP to sell up rather than opt for repossession so I'm unclear what is so 'rubbish' about the comments.

Radiantsoul

beecher wrote: »

That's nice. Most have advised the OP to sell up rather than opt for repossession so I'm unclear what is so 'rubbish' about the comments.

It was rather harshly worded. But the joint and several liabilibity is absolutely key to the whole issue. It should focus the OP to sort it out asap.