Feeling disheartened today - anyone else?

Rache_2

Some good and bad things have happened since I last posted.

Good:
We finally did our budget based on the SOA. It's going to be tight, but as long as H's income remains adequate we might manage (see below).

We have decided to cash in some stocks which we had earmarked for income in our old age (in lieu of a pension fund) to pay off our debts. This means that we are debt free as soon as the cheque comes through. I know I should be bouncing about with glee, but tbh I just feel dreadful that now my H has no pension to speak of at the age of 37.:( I'm sorry, because I know that some of you have dreadful debts and no assets at all - but for us this has been a big step, and I'm still not sure about it.

We have been really good with our spending. We have managed to get our food bill down to £200 for this month, and I think with the help of OS we can probably get it down further, so that's good. We spent nothing on treats this month at all. And I've changed broadband ISPs, and sorted out phone bills, and cancelled lots of DDs.

Bad:
I had a car crash and spent £450 on repairs

Someone broke into my car - £50 excess and now the airbag is bust and the car's no longer under warranty so that'll be more bills next month.

I have to spend £600 on an exam this week.

We don't think we can afford to stay in this house if my DH's income remains iffy. We're not sure what to do - whether to look into his changing career, or rely on my income but move area and for him to look after the baby while I work longer hours. It's all looking a bit uncertain and fairly bleak. We won't be able to get a mortgage for a while either so it's be renting, which to me seems like a step backwards rather than forwards even though it'd be for the right reasons.

Monday morning blues, anyone? I'm sorry this is just a self-pitying whinge. I've been like this since I realised how much our life will have to change. Bleeeurgh.

brummiebabe

Oh Rache - it sounds like you're having a BAD day!! But try & think about it as just that a bad day, tomorrow is another day & things'll start to look up again!

You've obviously come a long way and will soon be debt free!! I know that you're worried re: OH's pension, but you can always plough money into that in a few years, when you'll hopefully be in a better, more stable position financially!

The important thing is that you'll now be living within your means - and will hopefully be able to avoid getting into debt again! It might well be a bit tight, but situations can change in the future!!

Take care of yourself, do something nice for yourself today. You'll probably feel better tomorrow! Monday mornings are generally awful!!:grouphug:

loubie_lou

Hi Rache,

Yep know exactly how you feel, feel the same every monday! I had a car accident on Boxing day but luckily the money should be coming through soon for me to buy one (almost double what I paid for the car and it was his fault so its all gone through fairly smoothly!)

But all my other debt still plagues on my mind.........:mad:

[Deleted User]

Hugs Rache.

It is January blues and it affects a lot of people. I have been reading your threads and you are doing so very well. You and your DH are in a period of change at the moment, later your journey through life will continue again, albeit on a different path. At the moment you are both building the foundations for your future. Just now try to concentrate on the present and take a day at a time and always remember that it is only money

kathfisch

Hi Rache, I agree with brummiebabe, take care of yourself today and start tomorrow afresh. I can understand it feeling worrying to have given up your pension pot as it were but no doubt you've thought carefully about the situation. If you can continue to live within your means and put money towards a pension (that would have gone to debts) you will build up a lump quickly. And just because you'll be debt free, don't think that means you can't post on here!! Keep us updated with how you get on and we're here if you need a rant, whinge, shoulder to cry on etc.:)

Best of luck
Kath

P.S. I really like your signature. Seeing that has inspired me to get off my bum and do something useful this afternoon!

fairylights_2

Oh yes! I know how you feel. January means car insurance (budgeted for, thankfully) but also the final monthly payment for last year's (which I thought was last month :mad: ). Our rowing machine (the source of my sanity ... very cathartic) died, my son knocked our wedding present le creuset dish onto the floor where it smashed. Lightbulb in oven went (although the oven itself is on its last legs) new specs for OH, new lenses in old frames for me. I've gone through the knees on my jeans. New shoes for my son, dinked the car on the kerb at the supermarket, chipping the paintwork. water seems to be finding a way from our bathroom upstairs to our kitchen downstairs. :eek: :eek: :eek:

I just figure it's all sent to try us. If we can still get clear, then we'll win. I know you're struggling to see past the disappearance of his pension, but at least now you'll be living within your means, rather than being so in debt that he can't retire at all. And once you're debt free, you can start saving again. As far as the house thing goes, only you both are going to know what's best.

Roll on February!

lottie26_2

I'm sorry your feeling down Rache, things will start to luck good soon it's just because to you are having to deal with so much this month.
Be happy that you are going to pay your debts off I know it must be hard because you are using your DH pension money but with no debts you will be able to put more money away eventually because your babie's not going to be small forever and you both will be working,
Also, don't worry about the housing problem it will be hard but I did it I had a mortgage with my ex 6 years ago and when we split he stayed in the house and I moved back to the area where I grew up, I could'nt afford to buy a house and still can't because of debts I used to get very down about itbut I don't now I just look to the future and feel happy because I know I won't be in the situation forever and when my debts are paid off I will save a big deposit for a house and I will ner have debts again apart from the mortgage.
Hope you a feeling happier soon xxx

fbrander

Know how you feel .I'm fed up today- probably bad PMT making it worse. Trying really hard to clear the debts and was feeling like I was on top of things. Then I got a demand from the tax Credits for £101. Know It's not a lot but I just dont have any spare at the mo. I cant work just now as I am not well and suffering terrible guilt as I cant contribute. it seems like there are always setbacks just when you think you are beginning to turn the corner.I'm sure it will get easier. Thinking of you all

southernscouser

First things first well done for soon to being debt free! :T

37 is still young and you can start again better equiped from the lessons debt has had to teach you. You can throw what you were paying to your debts towards your retirement fund.

Plus if you stick to your budget I have no doubt you will get through all the crap life throws at you!

tango

hi ,remember nothing holds you back like debt, so if you are getting out of that it is very positive news :j keep your pecker up :A

Rache_2

Thanks everyone. Too tired to thank you all individually, but you are all v wise, and I'm very lucky to have found such a wonderful support network.