Mam's 60th Birthday

Kandipandi

Oh I need a bit of reassurance/advice.
Ill try to keep it brief ~ my mam is not well off and she is disabled, she is not housebound but does not go far. Last year I paid for her to have sky television installed and have been paying the monthly subscription for the past year (over £200).
I never intended to pay for it forever as I can't afford to (I dont have Sky in my own house as its a luxury I cant afford).
So a couple of weeks ago my mam asked me for money for her birthday; I said well I was planning on either giving her money or paying for Sky subscription for another year, and she said well I'll have to have the Sky as I cant live without it and I cant afford to pay for it. But she really did not seem to be very suited.
I think she assumed that I would pay that and give her money. If I could I would.
The plan was to continue to pay for her Sky and take her out for dinner on her birthday (which will be quite expensive).
I do feel a bit stingy now though ~ should I get her a small gift as well, as it is a big birthday and she will have nothing 'tangible' from us?
Not sure what to do?

coolcait

Kandipandi wrote: »

Oh I need a bit of reassurance/advice.
Ill try to keep it brief ~ my mam is not well off and she is disabled, she is not housebound but does not go far. Last year I paid for her to have sky television installed and have been paying the monthly subscription for the past year (over £200).
I never intended to pay for it forever as I can't afford to (I dont have Sky in my own house as its a luxury I cant afford).
So a couple of weeks ago my mam asked me for money for her birthday; I said well I was planning on either giving her money or paying for Sky subscription for another year, and she said well I'll have to have the Sky as I cant live without it and I cant afford to pay for it. But she really did not seem to be very suited.
I think she assumed that I would pay that and give her money. If I could I would.
The plan was to continue to pay for her Sky and take her out for dinner on her birthday (which will be quite expensive).
I do feel a bit stingy now though ~ should I get her a small gift as well, as it is a big birthday and she will have nothing 'tangible' from us?
Not sure what to do?

Nothing 'tangible'? :eek:

You might want to fasten your seatbelt for this one, as it's gonna be a bumpy ride;)

Your gift to your mother will be over £200 worth of Sky TV, 24/7, for the next year. She will have something which - by her own admission - she cannot live without. Yet you are feeling 'stingy', and feel that your gift somehow isn't enough

Imagine you could put £200+ of fivers inside a nice card, and hand it over to her. Does your gift feel more 'tangible' now?

Imagine you could give her something she can't live without. Is that more 'tangible'?

I'll admit that my first thought when I read your post was that your mum is being a bit greedy. But maybe she simply doesn't realise just how much the Sky TV is costing you?

I'm guessing that you probably don't have £200+ lying around (not many of us do! ), and pay the subscription by monthly instalments. However, if you were able to gather up the amount you spend on Sky, you could give her that in a gift card - as a cheque or in cash. That might make it feel more 'tangible' to you.

And if your mum decides that she'd rather spend the money on something else, that would be her choice - but you'd have to make it absolutely clear up front that you won't be able to fund Sky if she spends the money on something else!! :eek:

Or, is there any chance that Sky do a gift card type thing? Something to make it feel more like a gift?

I think the bottom line is, IMO, that you are definitely not being 'stingy' (you'll be spending £200+ on Sky, plus taking her out for dinner).

Try this.. Go to her house, put your hand on the Skybox, and feel the 'tangibility' of the gift you are giving her

Good luck, and please don't feel guilty!

Kandipandi

You have just echoed what my DH has been saying to me.
Thank You for your reply you have helped more than you know.
Im sure you are right and thats what i will do i think - perhaps I can make a voucher to put inside her card ~ Free Sky Subscription for a Year~ type thing.
I'll report back what I eventually did after her birthday.
Thanks again.