Verifying maintenance payments

Lindseyf584

I have been reading through the posts on here and I am now quite concerned!

Can somebody clarify what the CSA accept as proof of payment should a case be raised with them?

My ex never pays anything to me and hasn't for years so i know that the CSA are generally uneffective!

My current OH currently pays £600 pm for his child with ex wife, he does this through a standing order but I know he doesn't put any reference or anything on it, after being separated for 5 years he is only now looking at getting divorced and she is requesting annual increases to the payments which is ridiculous as firstly he couldn't afford it and I refuse to pay it! Also we buy all of his clothes, school shoes etc.

My concern really is when this gets disputed in the divorce papers, if we end up going to the CSA will they accept the fact that these payments have been made to her for the past 5 years or are we likely to end up with a bill for 5 years??

Thanks in advance for any help!

N71

If either your OH or his ex decide to go to the CSA in the future, any assessment they make will only start from the date they first contact your OH. They can't claim back pay for any period before that.

If either of them do decide to go to the CSA, your OH could then stop the standing order to her, and keep the amount in a seperate account to pay off once the assessment is set.

£600 sounds a lot for one child! Have you looked on the CSA website for an idea of what he should be paying. Many PWC's are disappointed when they decide to be greedy and go through the CSA!

Sensemaya

Just an aside: 5 years without the other party's permission divorce. Very unusual! Interesting to see what happens when divorce proceedings start. Is he the Petitioner?

Have the finances been sorted out other than child support?

I suggest he titles the SO as child maintenance.

Lindseyf584

I was trying to cut a long story short to begin with they have been separated officially for less than 5 years so he can't yet divorce her without her consent.

She wants to get divorced but wants him to do all the paperwork (mainly because she knows I will end up doing it!)

£600 is a lot for one child especially as we have 2 children as well and I tried the CSA calculator and she would get less than that but he agreed at the beginning to pay nursery fees which at the time were £600 a month and he has continued paying this ever since despite the child now being at school and not in childcare, he's a bit daft as he gives her everything she asks for to avoid confrontation... crazy if you ask me!

I think if anyone goes to the CSA it would be us if she keeps asking for more money as I have told him to make sure any arrangements in the divorce are made clear that it is a child maintenance agreement not maintenance to her.

Other financials don't really come into it as they didn't own anything together and he took all their joint debt on in his sole name when they separated.

Caz3121

Sounds like my OHs ex - she sees maintenance as hers and school uniform, clothes etc are to be bought by him! She also kept asking for more - he was paying out over £1k a month and getting deeper and deeper into debt. When he moved into a 1 bed rented flat she said he should be in a studio or shared house as it would cost less and there would be more for her.
Anyway he used the CSA calculator as a guide and that is what he now pays, this amount was documented in the consent order (like you finances were simple as she took everything 6 years ago apart from the debt which he got)
If he refuses to pay more then the best she can expect is what the CSA say he should pay although if there is a big difference in earning there may be a case for spousal maintance for her (didn't apply in OHs case as kids both teens and nothing to stop her working - her 'income' from CM and tax credits is higher than his)

Donedoingdebt

Lindseyf584 wrote: »

I think if anyone goes to the CSA it would be us if she keeps asking for more money as I have told him to make sure any arrangements in the divorce are made clear that it is a child maintenance agreement not maintenance to her.

/(quote]

I believe that the courts don't make child maintenance payments orders anymore, just child contact arrangements & Spousal maintenance if this is applicable. The Child payments side of things are now done by the CSA alone.
Why doesn't he log on to the CSA website maintenance calculator & work out exactly what he should be paying & offer this in a private arrangement to his ex?
If she refuses this offer, let her contact the CSA & he can stop payments until he is assessed by them, but make sure that he puts this money aside each month so as not to build up arrears that he can't afford.
Alternatively, just reduce his current standing order to the CSA amount & make sure it is clearly marked as Child support for XXXXXXXXX.
At least this way, his Son won't go short whilst the assessment is being carried out as there may be a delay from when she contacts the CSA until they contact your OH.
Even if she does accept the new private arrangement offer, he should still clearly mark the standing order as suggested above. That should stop any future disputes over whether child support was paid or not.
Finally, make sure that this standing order is paid direct into his ex's account & not his Son's account as this will be classed as a gift & not child support.

Lindseyf584

He wont reduce the amount as he is a soft touch where she is concerned (had the agrument re CSA recommended amount lots of times after I worked out how much she would get!). I wouldn't mind if any of it went on the child and we weren't then having to buy everything on top.

He also gave her £15k and a car (for the au pair) about a year ago! Crazy man!

But that's life I suppose! I will make him put a reference on the Standing Order to make it clear that the money is going to her for child maintenance.

Caz3121

strange people men, does he feel guilty about the breakup? My OH didn't as she ran off with another man but she would still pull all the strings re the children.

The maintenance will not get spent totally on the child as it is towards things like bills and keeping a roof over their head, feeding them etc but he gets really upset when they will phone and say they are hungry and there is no food at home (he pays £500 a month and there is always beer, wine and cigarettes!)

Guess he may get tougher with the divorce imminent, mine would cave in to keep her sweet so the divorce would go through...still took 3 years and she blackmailed him into paying all her lawyers bill as she could not afford to (she did not qualify for legal aid as her income is too high - just didn't see it as something she should have to pay for even though she petitioned - another £5k to the debt!)

I know it is probably very bitter and twisted of me but when the children are grown (3-4 year) she will lose £15k per year and for the first time in her life have to earn every penny just as we do today (spoken as someone who, apart from child benefit has never claimed anything and worked multiple jobs to support my dd and lazy oaf of an ex who couldn't be bothered to work)

as for the car...just make sure it is on the list of assets and it will be part of her share (remember finances are sorted out at the time of divorce, unless in Scotland, and even if he had the £15k in his bank account it is still there for the dividing)

marksoton

Lindseyf584 wrote: »

He wont reduce the amount as he is a soft touch where she is concerned (had the agrument re CSA recommended amount lots of times after I worked out how much she would get!). I wouldn't mind if any of it went on the child and we weren't then having to buy everything on top.

He also gave her £15k and a car (for the au pair) about a year ago! Crazy man!

But that's life I suppose! I will make him put a reference on the Standing Order to make it clear that the money is going to her for child maintenance.

I suggest you slap him round the face with a wet fish and get him to start seeing sense !!!!

pd001

Lindseyf584 wrote: »

He wont reduce the amount as he is a soft touch where she is concerned (had the agrument re CSA recommended amount lots of times after I worked out how much she would get!). I wouldn't mind if any of it went on the child and we weren't then having to buy everything on top.

He also gave her £15k and a car (for the au pair) about a year ago! Crazy man!

But that's life I suppose! I will make him put a reference on the Standing Order to make it clear that the money is going to her for child maintenance.

Not quite enough i am afraid.

Have a read of the following, I have posted it many times on other threads on this board

Document it properly, and by that I mean you should make sure that there cannot be any misunderstanding in the future.
You should do more than just cross the cheque.....you should also send a letter with each payment that you make, to the effect that the payment is specifically made to support your child (ren).
edit...You should name the child (ren) that the payment is for.
edit...The letter has to state that the money is for child maintenance and it must also stipulate for what period.
Keep copies of these letters, DO NOT LOSE THEM!
Make sure that each letter is dated with the same date that is on the cheque.
DO NOT make cash payments!
Postal orders will suffice provided that you keep the stub, DO NOT LOSE THEM!
Ensure that it has the correct name in the payee section. Ensure that you cross the order or make sure that it is crossed when you buy it. If you dont cross it then it can be cashed and is much more difficult to trace in the future. Dont forget to sand a letter with the postal order as I have specified above.....and again...very important indeed...
DO NOT make cash payments!

Thanks to kelloggs36 who posts on here for some of the above information

As you are paying through the bank, I would do exactly as you have said with regard to the standing order.
In addition I would get him to send a letter each month to his ex detailing exactly what the payment is for and the childs name and the letter also has to state that the money is for child maintenance and it must also stipulate for what period.

Sensemaya

pd001 wrote: »

Not quite enough i am afraid.

Have a read of the following, I have posted it many times on other threads on this board Indeed you have.;)

Document it properly, and by that I mean you should make sure that there cannot be any misunderstanding in the future.
You should do more than just cross the cheque.....you should also send a letter with each payment that you make, to the effect that the payment is specifically made to support your child (ren).
edit...You should name the child (ren) that the payment is for.
edit...The letter has to state that the money is for child maintenance and it must also stipulate for what period.
Keep copies of these letters, DO NOT LOSE THEM!
Make sure that each letter is dated with the same date that is on the cheque.
DO NOT make cash payments!
Postal orders will suffice provided that you keep the stub, DO NOT LOSE THEM!
Ensure that it has the correct name in the payee section. Ensure that you cross the order or make sure that it is crossed when you buy it. If you dont cross it then it can be cashed and is much more difficult to trace in the future. Dont forget to sand a letter with the postal order as I have specified above.....and again...very important indeed...
DO NOT make cash payments!

Thanks to kelloggs36 who posts on here for some of the above information

As you are paying through the bank, I would do exactly as you have said with regard to the standing order.
In addition I would get him to send a letter each month to his ex detailing exactly what the payment is for and the childs name and the letter also has to state that the money is for child maintenance and it must also stipulate for what period.

Not having a go at you, pd001, but on nearly every post you contribute to?

Put this in the sticky link now???