I'm in Debt Fatigue.........

Naomim

Hi Jimmy,

Firstly, congratulations on finding the forums AND your impending wedding. Does your OH know about your debt, is it yours alone or joint? If she doesn't know, it might be best to tell her. A lot of people on here have previously hidden debts from their OH's ans sometimes it can add to the stress.

Your SOA says 3 adults in the house but it looks like only one income. Am I right there?

Do you have any ways of making any extra money? A second job, or ebaying? Having a good de-clutter can be very theraputic and when you make some money from it, it's great. Have a look at the list of challenges on here to see if there is anything to help motivate you to increase your income. Also check out the freebies board, it's amazing and you can get things like free cinema tickets which should help bring that "entertainment" budget down!

HTH

Naomi x

catherine_h_2

I know how that is, I'm the same with one of my cc's need to pay it off ASAP apr is 34.9% and killing me. Any spare money you can find throw at the Vanquis card before anything else as this is the only one you have with an interest rate.
Have you tried the snowball calculator??? I don't have a link I'm afraid but if you can find it or anyone knows where to find it you should give it ago, I'm sure it will be another enlightening moment for you:rolleyes:

Jimmydebtface

Hi Naomim. Yeah, my G/F knows everything, she even wants to pay off some of my debt, but I really feel it is my problem and for me to sort out. I just feel as though the next 4months are crucial in getting into a more stable situation.
There are 3 people in my household, but I am only responsible for myself.

Catherine. Yep, I will be throwing money at Vanquis 1st, it is obsene how fast they rack up charges!

Jimmydebtface

!^&*^$!^&! Just comming to terms with the fact that my G/F has just spent nearly £3000 on a wedding dress.

How do I pretend to be happy for her when she has spent more money on one dress than I can pay off on debt in a whole 6 month period? I am trying to smile, it's not really working

**purpleprincess**

Wow! £3k on a dress!!

How are you paying for the wedding?

Where you say there are 3 adults but you're responsible for yourself, is that like a houseshare? or do you live with your parents?

Good luck!!! You're in the right place!

Re your mobile phone, have you thought about sim only? £20 a month, 600 minutes and unlimited texts. Saving of £15 a month.

Groceries, take a look at Old Style board for ideas.

cally6008

This may sound really harsh but any chance of postponing the wedding till next year in order to get your finances sorted out more ?

£3K on a wedding dress is TOO much.

Jimmydebtface

Thanks purple. My phone is contract, and I get money back after 6 months, so it isnt so bad. I live with my parents at the moment.

Not harsh cally, thanks for imput. She has 10,000 Euros (she is Spanish) inheritence so the dress and wedding fund comes out of that. She knows my debts and wantted to pay some off, thing is, as a matter of pride I wantted to deal with my debts.

But I had no idea she was going to blow 3000 quid on a dress. What is more, she says she regrets it, but the deposit of £1000 is paid. Hard balencing being furious that she spent 'her' money without asking my opinion, and trying to make her feel special.

All new to me, it is her money, but it is our wedding. I want her to have the wedding she wants, but also want to be practical.

How do I talk to her and point out the fact that I am in debt, that really her money is my money to because we are going to be married. All without upsetting her more than she is by the fact that in crazy shopping trip she spent £3000!!!!!!

Does that make sense?

TurnaroundSue

Could she not use that deposit for a cheaper dress in the same shop? It might be worth asking, they can only say no.

I would also start a spending diary, so you write down everything you spend, and I mean EVERYTHING. Whether its a daily paper, pint of beer, new pair of shoes or just a packet of chewies - that way you will be able to see where all your money goes and will help you to focus on where to put it to better use.

There is a tool on the right hand side of the board called the demotivator and that is a real eye opener, so give it a try and I promise you will be shocked by the results - I know I was.

Good luck and welcome to the boards - you really are in the best place

Kanichen

Jimmydebtface wrote: »

Thanks purple. My phone is contract, and I get money back after 6 months, so it isnt so bad. I live with my parents at the moment.

Not harsh cally, thanks for imput. She has 10,000 Euros (she is Spanish) inheritence so the dress and wedding fund comes out of that. She knows my debts and wantted to pay some off, thing is, as a matter of pride I wantted to deal with my debts.

But I had no idea she was going to blow 3000 quid on a dress. What is more, she says she regrets it, but the deposit of £1000 is paid. Hard balencing being furious that she spent 'her' money without asking my opinion, and trying to make her feel special.

All new to me, it is her money, but it is our wedding. I want her to have the wedding she wants, but also want to be practical.

How do I talk to her and point out the fact that I am in debt, that really her money is my money to because we are going to be married. All without upsetting her more than she is by the fact that in crazy shopping trip she spent £3000!!!!!!

Does that make sense?

:eek: Tell me you don't really think that?!?! Her money is HER money - she offered to help you clear up YOUR mess and you turned her down so you have No rights to complain what so ever!

If I was your girlfriend and read that you wouldnt have a wedding to be worry about, thats for sure!!! :rolleyes:

**purpleprincess**

Where will you guys be living once you're married? Cos at the moment I can't see any outgoings for rent or anything? So if you're moving out then your outgoings will go up by quite a lot.