Is it compulsary to have a best man?

DKLS

The way things are heading it looks like I wont have a best man, A year ago, I lent him a 1,000 pounds on the basis that I could afford it, if he didnt pay me back.

To be honest we have lost touch pretty much since he started his family, and for the sake of a grand, its a small price to lose a friendship that I dont get anything out of.

Speaking with OH I joked about a rentabestman.com type service, and she was mortified, so my question is Do I have to have one at all? other than holding rings, a speech and stag do what purpose do they serve?

Horace

A best man will also help you get to the church on time. Will help with the ushers and look after the bridesmaidsand ensure that everyone gets from the church to the reception venue.

If your fiancee has a brother that you know and like, you could ask him, or your dad or even your own brother if you have one.

Who says that the best man has to be a man anyway it could be a woman:D

grastgirl

I would phone him and have a chat, you might find that you can breathe life back into the friendship, afterall if you were good friends before and you haven't fallen out over the £1000 why wouldn't you still be friends even if you don't talk that often.

As it happens I'm having a best man (I'm the bride) and my fiance is having a maid of honour (his sister). I think they're quite useful for trying to keep you calm and organised on the day, but if you think you'll be OK why not leave the best man out of the equation, just make sure you know who you will have instead for the witness for the register.

*Louise*

I guess itdepends on how big your wedding is going to be.

We are having a small wedding for 40 people and aren't bothering with best man/maid of honour or ushers. I couldn't choose between my 2 best friends and my 2 sisters for MOH, so when I decided not to have anyone OH decided it would be easier if he didn't either.

Our friends will help calm us down and get ready, as will my mum - everyone can sit where they want in the small chapel, and our eldest son is going to take the rings.

Have your wedding your way, you don't 'have' to have something/someone just because it's a tradition.

smartie12

We didn't have a best man. My DS looked after the rings and we had no boring old speeches;)

ria.pulls

My other half isn't having a best man as he couldn't pick between his 2 closest friends. He asked his dad to avoid making a choice and his old man said no!! Now he is just having both friends as ushers and no best man!! We are having a small wedding mind. just the church and a party so no speeches and hopefully no stress.

You could always try a family member or someone who your closer to now maybe? I think men worry about the best man thing alot and seem to tae it very seriously!!

you could just pick whoever will give you the type of stag night you want!!

Good luck

DKLS

Thanks for the comments, Its going to be a small wedding max 40 people so there wont be much need for ushing services, and a bottle of rescue remedy will deal with any nerves on my part.

We have decided to slim down the wedding to 40 instead of the original 150+, and have a fabulous honeymoon (Month in Vietnam).

Am pleased to hear others either didnt bother or are planning not to bother with a best man. There is no other male, family or friend I am close enough to ask, it seems a shame to lose a friend over a grand, however the wedding seems the perfect opportunity to cut the ties.

lucy102

We are having a biggish wedding - 110 - but no best man or bridesmaids or maid of honour. Our reasoning is that we have a family situation where if we didn't make 2 individuals best man and maid of honour then there would be problems. The difficulty is that one for mental health reasons couldn't do it and the other one (who is single) is having difficulty dealing with me getting married!

I just really wanted it to be about me and my H2B anyway so our solution is to have 6 ushers who all have different jobs to do. I have a good friend who has ended up taking on the bridesmaid duties but she will do a reading and will get a special thanks from me in the speeches and a pressie!