Microsoft Windows Geordie Version

jaffa30

MICROSOFT ANNOUNCEMENT


It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Geordie version of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside of Newcastle. If you have one of the Newcastle editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Newcastle edition may be recognised by looking at the loading screen. It reads "Windiz 98" with a background picture of a Brown Ale bottle superimposed on a photograph of the Tyne Bridge.


It ships with the Brown Ale screen saver.


Also note:

The Recycle Bin is labelled 'Aal ya !!!!e'
Dialup Networking is called 'Me mates'
Control Panel is known as 'How te fook aboot wi' the settins'
The Hard Drive is referred to as 'Big disk'
Floppies are known as 'Them litil plastic bastads'

Other Features:

OK = it's alreet
cancel = fook that
yes = aye
no= nee !!!!!!' chance
find = gan gerit ya !!!!!! sel'
goto = owa there
help = ah cannit dee it
stop = divvent move
start = hadaway and !!!!e
settings = settins
programs = stuff that dis stuff
personal folder = me !!!!e

Also note that Windiz 98 does not recognise capital letters or
punctuation marks.


Some programs that are exclusive to Windiz 98:

tiperiter = a word processor
cullarin book = a graphics package
addin masheen = calculator
tunes = CD player
!!!!!! = Microsoft Internet Explorer
pikchas = a graphics viewer
dole money = accounting software
toon = a spreadsheet of Newcastle United FC's recent scores
bevvy = local off-licences by area code and price of Brown Ale tax
records = usually an empty file Kappa tracksuit inventory = usually a 5 meg file

We regret any inconvenience it may cause if you received a copy of the Newcastle edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.



MICROSOFT ANNOUNCEMENT


It has come to the attention of Microsoft that several copies of a Geordie version of Windows 2000, otherwise known as Windaz Too Thoosand, may have accidentally been shipped out of Newcastle.


If you have one of the Newcastle editions, you may need some help understanding the commands.


You will be able to tell immediately if you have a copy of Windaz 2000 by the egg-timer being replaced by a bottle of Brown Ale.


Also note:


The recycle bin is labelled "!!!!e"
Dialup network is called "Me mates"
Control Panel is known as "How we fook aboot wi the settins"
The hard drive is referred to as "Big disk wi aall me stuff on it"
Other features to note:
Ok - Alreet
Cancel - Fook that
Yes - Aye
Goto - Owa there
Help - Ah cannit dee it
Personal folder/My Documents - Me !!!!e


Windaz 2000 does not recognise capital letters or punctuation marks.


Applications exclusive to Windaz 2000
Tipe Rita - a word processor
Cullarin book - a graphics package
Addin masheen - a calculator
Dole 2000 - accounting software
!!!!!! - Internet Explorer


Microsoft are sending a containment team to the area but there are fears that the version has escaped the net and will turn up on a computer near you when you least expect it. Take care, try not to have nightmares.

Fairy_Michelle

That is so funny not that us southerners think that there is anything wrong with being a Geordie.

Rubyru_3

As geordies we are so unique that microsoft recongised that we are our own nation and commisioned our own version of windows.Rumour has it they spent 2 years writing it.The main source of inspiration was the geordie dictionary and the banter in pubs surrounding SJP on match days.

jaffa30

Well said Rubyru.

Lol no offence taken fairy , i thought i would add it as theres a scottish version on here.

samanthaknd

hmmph copy cat :rotfl:

jaffa30

samanthaknd wrote:

hmmph copy cat :rotfl:

Defo lol but its damn funny.

Its been about yrs

Marigold123

Loved it. That reminds me, I must start buying Viz again.

- Southern softie.

greencatrus

wi hi man wait till i gets me punctur fixed n ill come an sort out ye southern maries!