Ex-Wife & Debt

draconian_2

Hay y'all

Hope the new year is bringing in some good stuff.

Since my divorce in 99 I have paid off £51000 off my & ex wifes debt. Unfortunately I ended up getting a letter from the court about maintenance. I have over the last 5 years been paying her what I could afford for my son but averages £450 a month, which I think for one child is good!

BUT despite requests from me to her for a variance order she kept saying no!

So last week I got a letter from the court asking for the arrears of £20,000!

Having sent the forms back I am absolutely fuming, having given her a freehold house and no debt with a tax free income she screwed me.

Anyone else suffered this? I have spoken to a solicitor (good one as well) and he has told me what I need to do but I cant help feeling like I am going backwards and not forwards! :mad:

Really not happy!

D

Murtle

hope you get it sorted out positively. I can't be any help as I have never been in that situation and I would be madder then mad if I was, and for you in fact. All the best.

x

bank_of_slate

Hi draconian
I take it that you and the ex do not get on?
Try not to get angry about something that hasn't happened yet, it sounds like you have good legal advice so take it one step at a time.
...Linda xx

worrieddad_4

Of course she said no.

Sorry to sound harsh but you need to get tough with your x. Has your ex paid any of the joint debts? Take your solicitors advice but be prepared for a tough fight. Your ex is used to having her cake and eating it. How old is your son? If he's young, be ready for her to use contact as a club to beat you with.

lottie26_2

I am sorry this is happening to you I'm afraid I can't give you any advice though i'm sure you will get some on here.
I just want to wish you good luck for the future.

draconian_2

Hey Guys
Thanks for your kind words. Unfortunately I have not seen my son (apart from a few hours on xmas day) for 5 weeks and she won't answer my calls or anything. I have spoken to the Solicitor about contact and he has said I should use a mediator as this will be looked up by the judge with good eyes but the mediator I was recommended was her solicitor 6 years ago! So thats a no go!

No we do not get on. She is used to having her cake and eating it, and to be honest I am totally fed up with it.

My Son is only 9 and I do not know what he is being fed by my ex. It is frustrating beyond belief.

I am thinking of getting the one and only joint debt to hassle her - unfortunately I have paid all the other joint debts off! Still have 4 that were my own credit cards that she had a card on. But she is gonna get some comeback!

D

Rikki

I think you've been more than generous.

inmypocketnottheirs

Rikki wrote:

I think you've been more than generous.

I should co co!

Turning_into_scrooge

If 50% of the debt was hers as well then why has she not paid 50%? Does she work or are you supporting her as well? If it was me i would thorw the las 20k at her and say deal with it seeingt as you have paid off more than 50% of the total. Yep i sound harsh but i ended up with 34k due to my ex husband who now lives in south east asia and got away with the lot!

draconian_2

Hi
In the consent order at divorce it was one of the tactics of her bloodsucker (solicitor) to burden me with all the debts in exchange for a clean break (I dont pay her maintenance anymore) but since the only joint debt is still Joint & severaslly liable she could sue me for dumping her with some of it. I am going to contact them anyway and get her some hassle. Yes I def have been over generous and she is currently breaking the contact order but to what penalty? NONE!

I feel sorry for my son he is sucha good kid and I hope he remains that way but she will change him because she and her sisters and mother are a bunch of aimless degenerates with no money or prospects so trying to get money out of me is an easy touch and because in the past I have been generous for my sons sake they are now taking the biscuit!
Just waiting for the court to come back to me on the hearing now, they say the hearing can be cancelled because I have agreed to pay - but I haven't! I don't even agree with the amount she is asking for! Even the courts and the judges are up their own backsides.

See ya
D

musicboy

You paying the debts is classed as contributory maintenance, and if you have statements saying you paid that money to her then keep em.

My ex continuously lies to her solicitor about me paying ANY maintenance even though I was in a similar situation to you. So I have stopped going to see a sol and am replying myself because I refuse to pay out just to correct her lies.

Keep a diary of events (and make sure you keep it up - a basic word document will do the trick) because it will be worth tons if (and prob when) the issue of contact goes to court. Things like unanswered calls, also her using your son to get at you, because the courts apparently take a very dim view of mothers doing this.