shared residence order - benefits

aniag

Me and my ex-husband have shared residence order of our 7-y-o daughter granted in June 2008. Before that, he had sole residence order - I consented to it when our daughter was 2 because I suffered severely from postnatal depression etc.
He gets child benefit and tax credits for her and refuses to share them with me, even though she lives with both of us part time. I now have a 9-month old baby by a different father (sadly, we have split up before the baby was born) and am really struggling financially, living on a small salary from part-time job and benefits. My finances are so bad I cannot afford to have my older daughter for more than 1-2 nights a week. She used to live with me 4 days a week, but, as my ex was clever enough to pick her up on Sunday night, the benefit agency still considered him to be having her 4 nights and me - 3 nights. Even though she lives with me every weekend, from Fri-Sun and every Tuesday meaning I had more day-to-day costs, such as food, taking her out, heating etc. My ex knows my situation yet still refuses to share benefits or put them in my name and says he is on a very low income too but does not want to work full time.
What do I do? Is the only way applying for residence order in my name?
Anybody with similar experiences? Please help...

LizzieS_2

aniag wrote: »

What do I do? Is the only way applying for residence order in my name?

What would you say - I need residency to get all the related benefits?

Not 100% sure if this option would work - you need to take independent legal advice. You have a joint residency order which by the sounds of it is either very badly written, or is clear in who has the most nights per week over 2 weeks. One option is to get the residency order made clear so you both have absolute equal nights per year (though on exact equality child benefit is still decided for only 1 parent). As it stands at the moment your ex is classed as the parent with care due to the number of nights and technically can also claim child maintenance from you (in addition to child benefit/tax credits). Due to you having no entitlement to ask the csa for maintenance (not being classed as the main carer), you possibly can ask the court to award maintenance under schedule 1 of the childrens act equivalent the fair distribution of child benefit/tax credit on the basis of you having a joint residence order - note though it will cost to apply.

knightshaft

The judge won't look kindly on you wanting to use your child as a cash cow

Fran

aniag wrote: »

Me and my ex-husband have shared residence order of our 7-y-o daughter granted in June 2008. ......

Sorry to hear you are in this situation. It is really difficult with shared care because only one person receives Child Benefit for a child and they are unlikely to take it away from your ex unless he stops being the main carer. Re being not able to have your daughter because of cost, you could have her more and explain that you don't have money to take her out etc., feeding a 7 year old is not going to cost much and if you tell her you might be surprised how she will understand.

Re applying for a Residence Order for just you, do you think this would happen? If he has been a good father to her then I would think you would have difficulty in convincing them to make you the sole carer. You would give yourself a lot of stress by going to court hearings etc. You might be able to get half hour/hour free with a solicitor (ask Citizens Advice about ones in your area) to see what they think.

Are you likely to renew a relationship with one of the fathers? Perhaps mediation would help?

Are you getting money from the father of your baby? That is one way to increase your income.

Donedoingdebt

I'm not meaning to sound unsympathetic, but this is the plight of the average NRP.
As far as I'm aware, child benefit can only be paid to one Parent, regardless of court orders for actual care of the children.
You don't mention anywhere that your Daughter is at all unhappy with the current arrangement of staying with her Dad for 4 nights per week, so, in my humble opinion, it seems unfair to change her current routine purely for financial gain from benefits.
As you stated earlier, her Dad is also on a low wage, so you may only be transferring your financial problems onto him.
As I see it, from your Daughter's point of view, she currently has 2 Parents that clearly both love her & take an active role in her life, so why change things now?

aniag

Thank you for all replies.
My daughter said on many occasions she would like to live with me and her baby sister because Dad never does anything with her - does not take her out etc and is mean to her.

aniag

Also, she is actually with me more days a week - four days (Tuesday, Friday, saturday, Sunday).

Savvy_Sue

Unfortunately they count it by nights, AFAIK. I suppose your ex would realise that the financial situation might change if you asked to have her for an extra night?

Fran

aniag wrote: »

Thank you for all replies.
My daughter said on many occasions she would like to live with me and her baby sister because Dad never does anything with her - does not take her out etc and is mean to her.

From what you've said neither of you can afford to "take her out" (so presumably you explain this to her?). For Child Benefit the parent with care (her father) only has to spend the amount of CBen on her to qualify (as well as the time caring for her) and as he has continued to have her half the time it is highly unlikely to change. Even if you put in a duplicate claim for CBen this can take months to decide and meanwhile no-one receives anything for your child. You really need professional advice on your situation if you are considering that as it would be your word against his about the time and I suspect (guess) they would consider you to share care but have no reason to take it away from him.

knightshaft

To be blunt you have no chance. I am in a similar situation to you. I have my daughter FIVE days a week, I DON'T get child benefits and also have to pay CSA £50 a month.