Bridesmaid advice!

MrsRicho2b

Hi peeps

After a bit of advice regarding bridesmaids. H2b and I are going abroad and getting married, just the 2 of us and ny 2 boys. We are having a reception when we get back, an all day job am wanting one of my nieces of my flowergirl and my boys as page boys as such. Trouble is I have got 3 nieces, firstly is it awful just to choose 1 niece?

Secondly my h2b ha got 2 daughters,will be 16 and 22 when we get married. without sounding awful I don't really have the best relationship with them, they only contact me when they want something, never any other time. Personally I don't want them either as bridesmaids and keep thinking it will be my day and I am gonna have who I want etc etc but then I start to feel very guilty and thinking I should have them regardless.

What should I do? has anyone got any advice please x

becs

Personally if it were me I wouldn't have any to save any family arguments. If you really want someone have you not got a close friend you could have as a maid of honour instead? Choosing 1 niece will almost certainly upset the other 2 or family of them at least.
On the point of not getting on with h2b's daughters maybe this could be an occassion to make an effort after all they will be your family as well. How would you feel if your h2b was like this with your boys?

milkybars

Its your day, have who you want. If you just have flowergirl/s then the older daughters shouldn't feel too bad as technically you're just not having bridesmaids. If you think they'll feel left out, try including them in another way. Also don't feel bad about just having one flowergirl... 3's a crowd and the more flowergirls you have the more your fiancee's daughters might feel left out.

aimee21j

I'd have none. You can't choose one without the others being offended.

MrsRicho2b

becs wrote: »

On the point of not getting on with h2b's daughters maybe this could be an occassion to make an effort after all they will be your family as well. How would you feel if your h2b was like this with your boys?

I constantly make the effort to try and get on with them, am a very easy going person. Other night eldest called me as she had been let down by her friend on a night out and expected me to drop my plans to go out with her, when i said I couldn't the phone went dead and not heard from her since and the youngest made a pack of lies up in the summer about me hitting her which was not true, it was in fact her that punched me. I forgave her as ya would but as much as i try the relationship doesn't get any better

*Louise*

I have 2 best friends and 2 sisters. Couldn't choose who to have as a MOH so I'm not having any bridesmaids.

I have 3 neices and only one is being a flower girl (along with my daughter) she is on my side though, the other 2 are on OH's and they are a little older (11 and 13)

You shouldn't feel bad, everything is you and your future husband's decisions. If he doesn't have a problem with it, then you shouldn't worry. If anyone asks, just tell them you are trying to keep costs down.

MsChazzer

I'd be inclined to have all nieces or none, not sure that you can choose one without upsetting the others.

MrsRicho2b

Thats what i'm worried about MsChazzer. I'm extremely close to one and not the other 2 but I dont want to offend. It isnt a big wedding either. Am so confused and torn in two

MrsRicho2b

Louise trouble is they are all on my side! The one I want will be 9 and the other 2 will be 5 and 10. Its such a pickle

MsChazzer

MrsRicho2b wrote: »

Thats what i'm worried about MsChazzer. I'm extremely close to one and not the other 2 but I dont want to offend. It isnt a big wedding either. Am so confused and torn in two

Ouch. Is there something the others could do instead, anything that needs handing out? Or something the one you are close to could do that wouldn't upset the others? I'm assuming they are quite young? Could you maybe do something pre-wedding with the one you are close to, get her to help you on a shopping trip? I know it's not the same as being a flower girl but is something special-ish.

MrsRicho2b

There is talk about my sis, hubby and niece coming away with us it all depends on money though. She has always asked me if she could be flowergirl/bridemaid whereas the others haven't. That is a really good idea about getting them involved but doing what i'm not sure yet. Think I will need to rack my brains on this one. Crazy but this is the only issue stressing m out, mone of the other things lol