Child Maintenance (CSA) questions (merged)

ScrumpyJackRussell

I don't think giving the child the money is a very good idea, the father sounds the type of person to put pressure on her to give him the money back.

You pay her expenses all the rest of the year, buy her clothes, put a roof over her head, provide heating, food, birthdays, christmas, the general expense of taxi-ing her around, school uniform etc. Just because she is visiting him for a measly 4 weeks out of a 52 in a year does not mean that she will not still need this money spent on her. Is he going to actually spend this money on her - I doubt it, it will just be some extra in HIS bank account for himself.

The CSA say he has got to pay, so he should pay - if he doesn't like it tough - he should have thought of that before he forced you into using the CSA by withholding maintenance. Don't bow in to pressure, he is just trying it on.

lushkat

Thank you so much everyone for your support - I really appreciate it.

mini_mad_dad

i found myself in a position like this, i managed to talk the ex out the csa option after having a csa account for about 2 years, and continued with rather high payments direct to her weekly in cash. now she cant reopen my account (shame eh?). things got pretty bitter between us when i moved she thought she could screw more outta me...(cos i brought a cheap house in wales and she thought i was earning more, how wrong was she!) i found a Female solicitor (they seem to fight a bit better than our brother solictors) she then sent a rather strong letter saying that mataince payments are not to be used as bargining rights to access to our daugther. my ex then dropped my payments to £25 a week, not saying thats right, but i make sure i provide for her in other ways aswell like school uniform and stuff, i make sure she never goes without...

Quietgirl

mini_mad_dad wrote:

i found myself in a position like this, i managed to talk the ex out the csa option after having a csa account for about 2 years, and continued with rather high payments direct to her weekly in cash. now she cant reopen my account (shame eh?). things got pretty bitter between us when i moved she thought she could screw more outta me...(cos i brought a cheap house in wales and she thought i was earning more, how wrong was she!) i found a Female solicitor (they seem to fight a bit better than our brother solictors) she then sent a rather strong letter saying that mataince payments are not to be used as bargining rights to access to our daugther. my ex then dropped my payments to £25 a week, not saying thats right, but i make sure i provide for her in other ways aswell like school uniform and stuff, i make sure she never goes without...

If only more dads were like you making sure your kid never goes without etc. I have had a big battle with my daughters father. I have had little tiny bits for my 4 year old which in her 4 years of life would not add upto over £250. When she was a baby he used the threat of wanting her overnight etc if I asked him for money or took him to the CSA. THEN it was he wanted to see her until she realised who he was. Sort of like once she figured she had a daddy he would disapear out of her life grrrrrrrr. My family has helped me out alot with my daughter, including looking after her when I am at work and also buying a house for me to rent from them to put a safe and secure roof over our heads and to give security to my little girl. When my daughter started nursery I asked her dad to help out with uniform, he called me CHEEKY!! Anyway this past 8 months I have had to take on a childminder due to my mum having a bleed stroke. I asked him if he could help with the cost of child care to which he replied he was skint and living in a caravan. I even said just a tenner a week LOL (any little bit helps) I asked him if he wanted to see her and he didn't want to, didn't want his other kids to know about my daughter. So I made a claim with the CSA, he denied being her dad, typical, refused a DNA test, so they assumed parentage, he would not cooperate at all with the CSA so they had to get his income from his pay office to make an assessment then he ignored them again so they took it from his wages and so far I have had 2 monthly payments which I am putting away for my daughter because I just cannot bear to buy her anything with his cash ughh but I haven't heard anything from him over this CSA business either which I find strange. Perhaps he realises how good he has had it for 4 years.

So good on you mate for looking after your daughter!

ScrumpyJackRussell

When oh when will people realise access and maintenance are NOT linked.... you do not pay for seeing, or decide to not pay if not seeing your child. Maintenance and access are two separate issues, and the CSA and the courts actually agree on this. ££££ does not = access. Neither should it.

Quietgirl

ScrumpyJackRussell wrote:

When oh when will people realise access and maintenance are NOT linked.... you do not pay for seeing, or decide to not pay if not seeing your child. Maintenance and access are two separate issues, and the CSA and the courts actually agree on this. ££££ does not = access. Neither should it.

Agreed mate, if a man or woman does not want to take emotional/financial responsibility for the child he/she helped to make then they should be forced to take financial responsibility especially when they are on a high income like my daughters father.

You can't force a man to be a good father or to see their child or a mother ot be a good mother and see their child, but you can hit them in the wallet were it hurts and make them take financial responsiblity.

As much as I am angry and bitter towards my daughters father, I have not and will not bad mouth him to my daughter. If she wants to see him I will encourage her so that she can make her own mind up, and if he decides he wants a relationship with his daughter then I will do all in my power to encourage it as my daughter deserves a loving dad.

georgiasmum

My ex has never paid maintenance. The CSA told me they contacted him with the address I provided but didn't! They sent it somewhere else hence they got no response. I've been split since 2002 and we've never seen a penny. He has her once a week whilst I work at my 2nd job but this is always unstable and liable to be cancelled at a moments notice. His new partner has 2 children so I doubt I'll see anything now. Just as well I have a job....

Prudent

georgiasmum wrote:

My ex has never paid maintenance. The CSA told me they contacted him with the address I provided but didn't! They sent it somewhere else hence they got no response. I've been split since 2002 and we've never seen a penny. He has her once a week whilst I work at my 2nd job but this is always unstable and liable to be cancelled at a moments notice. His new partner has 2 children so I doubt I'll see anything now. Just as well I have a job....

There is nothing stopping you still pursuing payment through the csa. They are highly inefficient and it is often a lot of hassle - however you have to weigh that up against the benefits to your child.

busby1_2

rickrossi wrote:

I have always been given advice to keep records of payments given to ex partners for child maintenance.Is it really good advice?

My ex partner and I decided not to go through CSA. I gave her a lump sum payment of £32000 to help her and my daughter plus a monthly payment of £165/month. 6 months went by and I received a letter out of the blue from the CSA stating that my ex has applied to them for child maintenance and could I send all my details.

I told the CSA that I gave her the lump sum and monthly payments already. I was told that since the application from when I should be paying was received after I paid the lump sum, this money could not be taking into consideration.

I now have to pay an extra £65 per month. Are they correct in what they are saying? and if so does this mean that this advice I have been given to keep records no good.

Sorry to burden you all with my dilemma.Im just another responsible father getting ripped off and deprived of my daughters company by an ex partner.

The only safe method is not to try and keep the CSA out of it, it might seem like a good idea, but they are a law unto themselves, and the right hand does not know what the left is doing..

your ex could call the CSA and get them involved, and the claim starts from that point, they wont look at anything that has happened before then..

even if your ex isnt the sort to go behind your back like that, there may come a day when they need to claim benefits, then they dont have a choice about involving the CSA, the benefit office will do it

its best to involve the CSA right from the word go, then sort out your arrangements, if both partys are agreeing the CSA will accept that, and will have a recored of any lump sum payments in case your ex decides at a later date she wants more.. dont pay a penny untill the CSA has been notified and payments are agreed or it wont count

Gorgeous_George

Hi

I've searched the threads but not able to find an answer to this.

Daughter-in-law has separated from her husband. If the CSA calculate maintenance (15% of dad's income), will D-I-L receive the full amount or will it depend on her income? She works part-time.

Thanks in advance

GG