miss misery mood

stressedgirl_2

Hello one and all. only my second post as sadly I am usually too busy to visit this site as often as I would like, however I know it is here for me when I am on a low as I am now.

I'm coming to the end of my first year of a DMP which will last 6 years. Payplan tell me all is going well but I keep getting panic attacks about the mess I am in and how vulnerable I feel about it. A big part of that is because my husband does not know the level of my debts or that I have had to go on a DMP. he is currently deployed with the armed forces in a war zone, and I am working and looking after our young children. would love to hear from anyone else going it alone, for whatever reason. i hate the fact that I am lying by omission to my close relatives too, but i am too ashamed to tell the truth.

anyway, have changed my ways now, no new debt built up although its a constant battle with rising living costs and i haven't had my latest gas bill which should be a shocker. I check my bank account every day now, I do surveys for pureprofile (only made £4 so far!!), I have cut my phone and insurance costs and fight the terrible urge to buy, buy, buy most of the time.

Does anyone actually know a real person who has completed their DMP and sorted their lives and survived the whole process !!!??? I keep reading dire things that make me just want to give up, like credit card companies forcing house sales for debts (one of my big creditors is a credit card) and bailiffs having more rights of entry and nightmarish stuff. any words of advice, any words at all in fact, much appreciated:(

edinburgher

First of all, please don't panic - it will make everything worse for you. We're here a fair bit and will try and offer help and suggestions and if you've managed one year, you can do six.

You may like to tell your hubby once he has finished his tour (if he's going to be back in the UK for a bit), but it's a personal decision and is up to you entirely. Sorry if I'm totally ignorant of tours of duty etc., the last person who was in the army in my family was my Grandad in WWII.

One thing I can say for sure is - use the site more! If you're feeling down, there's a load of others feeling exactly the same. Share it, shout about it and who knows - maybe even help others feel better about their worries too

Would you like to try and post a SOA (statement of affairs) using the calculator stickied at the top of the page? We might be able to make some suggestions. Alternatively, if you're on a strict DMP and don't feel this would help, that's fine too.

Hoping you feel a bit better knowing there are people who care.

Luke (a debtor for 4 years now, 2 of those in a DMP).

10past6

The media are as bad as the creditors / DCAs in that they like to use scare tactics.

Try not to allow these head liners detract you from what you're trying to achieve.

There's a lot of information out there, and laws are in place to protect you the consumer.

May I suggest you spend as much time as possible researching where YOU stand legally with your debts.

NO creditor / DCA can take away your home, only a judge can grant that regardless of what trash some creditors / DCAs spew out.

stressedgirl_2

Thanks you pair, i immediately feel better:). I do truly appreciate you taking the time to reply to miss sorry for herself.

I should use the site more, you are right, but with working and housework and looking after the children 24/7 I literally dont' have time.

I can't face telling my husband about my debt as we are not particularly happy and I don't really turn to him that much , in fact this has probably contributed to my overspending, although it was never on designer clothes or aNything like that. It may be that I am forced to tell him at some point, but being proud as I am thats what I dread the most!!!

anyway, have done so much self-analsying this past year and can see what went wrong and why - just want it sorted!! on one level I can live with it and see a light at the end of the tunnel, but other times I get very low ie all of today. I feel like I have let everyone down but I know I just have to crack on.

if I can be of any support to you let me know, im happy to have private messages from edinburgh persons or anyone else - I will try to get on the forum more often but Im here for anyone that wants to chat.

as regards the soa I don't think it can be changed much to be honest. im constantly juggling, as many people are, but I feel so trapped. Its not like we could even sell the house easily or make such a profit on it anymore. I will have to go back to work full-time soon I feel, whereas at the moment i take the kids to school 3 days a week and pick them up 2 to make up for their dad not being around always. i still squeeze in 25 hours.

am now going to treat myself to a glass of wine, cheers:A

makeup

Hello

I think firstly you should be proud of yourself for getting yourself sorted out with a DMP.

It must be very hard looking after the kids on your own and having your husband in a warzone.

I know 6 yrs seems like a long time but it will go past slowly but surely, you've done a year already!

Maybe see if you can squeeze in some time for yourself. Do you have anyone who could look after the kids for an afternoon so you could read a favourite book (from the library ), have a afternoon pamper session with a long soak in the bath - something that you really love to do but struggle to fit in (and of course something DFW - so cheap or free)

Maybe that might help you feel less pressured and give you a chance to realx properly.

There are often ideas on ways of having cheap / free days out with your kids on this board so if you do have to work full time and don't feel you have so much time with your kids, you can have something to look forward todoing with them.

Keep going and you will get there in the end.

The reality is that if you went to court and the cc's said to the judge that they wanted to force you to sell your home. The judge would see that you are living in this home with two small children, your husband is fighting for his country, you have done the responsible thing and got a DMP in place with a debt charity. You have also completed a full year with no problems.

When you see it from that point of view you see that there is actually a lot of things in your favour.

Take care of yourself and good luck!