Jealousy between bridesmaids! Help - should I do anything?

SmlSave

Morning!

I have two bridesmaids A & H and so only one could be classed as the head bridesmaid i.e. get to hold the flowers.

H is head bridesmaid and I found out yesterday that A is making catty remarks etc... I understand that A might be slightly upset because she's known me longer but in truth H sees me more often now and generally has more time to help out.

Should I say something to A or leave them to sort it out? Have any of you had this problem too?

I'm getting myself all worried and flustered

debs2327

hi ya have you got any page boys ? cos you could always get him to hold it it would be a talking point especially if hes young or how about getting your mother to hold it that way both bridesmaids could be classed as the same , i have kind of the same problem as i have 2 moh but i decided very early on that my oldest daughter will hold my boquet and they havent b!!!!!ed since , hope it helps

sal-ad_daze

Jeez, you can't please some people can you! I'd just be pleased to be there supporting you.
Is there another job you can give her to shut her up? For example if you're wearing your veil over your face, give your bouquet to H and ask A to lift your veil for you - or vice versa if you don't think you can trust A not to mess up your hair!
Other than that, I wouldn't interfere unless it gets really out of hand and things start getting uncomfortable then you'd have to get a bit stern I think and point out that it's your day, your decision and she should just get over it.

*Louise*

If it's just a few remarks, then I would steer clear of getting involved tbh. If it gets any worse, I would be talking with A and asking if she has any problems with the way things are going (nicely of course):D and take it from there.

I have 2 sisters and 2 best friends -no way was I having all the hassle, so I'm not having any bridesmaids. Have got 2 flower girls, my neice (7) and my daughter who will be nearly 2 when the wedding comes round. Hassle free (and cheaper LOL):money:

MsChazzer

Finding another job for her might be a good one but otherwise I'd just ignore it, unless it gets out of hand. I've got one of my bridesmaids (FSIL) convinced that the others (my sisters) are all much prettier and thinner than her and there's not much I can say to stop her getting in a state (because she's just as pretty as them and more or less the same weight, anyway my sisters want to cake themselves in make up so I think FSIL will end up looking much nicer!!). It's not even a particularly formal do and they're all choosing their own dresses so can pick something that flatters their own body.

OH and I think they are all going to be best friends within about 10 minutes of meeting each other as they're all pretty similar. Personally I'm more concerned that the little bridesmaid/flower girl is well enough to come on the day as she has quite a few health problems.

retrocircles

Tell them to get over their own drama - it's YOUR day!

SmlSave

Thanks for all your replies, I'm so glad I have this forum to come on and get help! You're all angles. :A

I think I will leave it and see if it blows over.

With giving her jobs to do: A actually came with me to pick my wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses while H didn't! I've also asked A to do a reading at the ceremony to keep her involved. :mad: sal-ad daze is quite right, you just can't please some people.

I do think that she's probably thinking all with her feelings rather than her head at the mo. :rolleyes:

Mely

Sml...it sounds like you have done all you can to be fair. They need to remember its 'your' day and not 'theirs'.

Sammy_Girl

It will probably all blow over. I'm having 5 BMs (:eek: ), and only 1 got a bit snotty about not being MOH. Apparently because she's known me the longest (since we were 3) then that automatically makes her MOH!!! She could never win this argument because I was BM at her wedding a few years ago and she chose another BM to be her MOH!! So I politely remind her of that everytime she moans about my MOH lol

Just make sure that they've both got seperate roles and responsibilities and they'll be happy