Worried about parents

MsDelta

Hi all,

Sorry for the long post - need some advice regarding my parents financial affairs. They have struggled with their finances for years now due to a combination of relatively low incomes, poor planning, ill health (which led to family business being sold) and a few investments (property) that have failed.

They are also reluctant to discuss their situation with anyone including myself and have a tendancy to ignore letters, and generally try to dodge their debts, and stick their head under the sand and pretend all is well (I often see final demands for things like tv licenses parking fines etc at their house and have takern to paying off these little things when I see them).

My folks are both 57, and both work full time, bringing in just enough combined to pay their mortgage. I know my mother has a pension of some sorts, but my father (self employed) does not.I have just found out that their mortgage is an interest only mortgage (!!!) and there is no facility in place to pay off the actual capital. Again don't know what they owe but their property is worth around £250-280k in todays market.

Just found out that they also have another secured loan taken out 4/5 years ago, as I said they don't discuss this with us so I am unaware of the amount owed, know there have been some arrears recently on this, though i believe now up to date. They recently had a buy to let flat they owned repossesed but they have not followed up on this, so not sure if they still owe funds on that property once the bank sold it?? they also had a holiday home in the continent repossesd as they could't keep up with repayments - as they have again just stopped corresponding with the bank over there I'm not sure on the exact status of this debt. Another expense the have is younger sibling in first year at university

It's a New Year, fresh start and all that - and i'm determined to try and get them to try and sort things out and work towards a solution. Planning to sit then both down and have a frank discussion and try and get then to pull together their statement of affairs etc, but just wanted to know if anyone has any advice on what they can do to pull themsleves out of the mess they are in.

The way things are going I cannot for the life of me see how they will be able to retire at 65 as they have not even started paying off their house!!! But even if they switch to a repayment mortgage now and can afford the payments, it is a horrible thought that they will be potentially be paying this well into their seventies!

I think they should probably sell their house but in this market who knows what they will get, and how will they be able to retire if they have rent to pay? Want be able to speak some sense to them and point them in the direction of getting themsleves sorted.

any advice would be gratefully received

10past6

Hello MsDelta

I think the only way forward is to find out who they owe money to and how much, only at that stage will you be able to discuss a way forward.

Many people have a habit of burying their head in the sand (I was one of them) all that happens is the icing on the cake becomes to thick to get through.

As an idea, why not mention to them this site get them to have a look at the posts, it may give them some encouragement.

As for some of there debts maybe it's possible some could be unenforceable, but we would need to know much more details to assist.

TurnaroundSue

I'm sorry but cannot really give you any advice (I know that is about as much use as a chocolate teapot!), but sending lots of hugs. :grouphug:

I really hope that they do open up and talk to you and you can sort things out for them - I also hope that they realise that you are only doing this because you love them and want to help and do not get angry. If they do, I would just give them time and then try again at a later date - good luck

nikki28

you sound a really nice person, they should be proud to have you :A

MsDelta

Thanks for the replies - that is a good idea i'll suggest they nhave a look on this site and maybe it will encourage them to start making some decisions and taking actions. They don't get angry when i try to bring this up - it's just they are proud people and have worked hard in this country for over 30 years putting us all through uni etc... My mum says this isnt how she thought life would turn out for them think they are quite embarassed/ashamed about financila situ- hence them not opening up to me.

I will try to get them to draw up a stament of affairs regarding the debts and get some more detail, which I will post on here..

sillylittlejill

hope things go well. Your parents should be really proud! Wish I was in the position to help my parents like this.

good luck and keep us posted

xxxx

Jenna

Try to get them to think of it as a 'deal' e.g. helping & advising them is your way of 'paying them back' for all they've done for you over the years. This way they might be more inclined to accept your assistance as they won't take your offer of help as being pity.

Other than that - not much to say except good luck & hope your chat goes well! Let us know the figures when you have them & we'll try to advise.

Take care xx

*Vikki*

I am sorry I can't give you any advice ether, but I know sort of what you are going through. My parents are in the same sort of situation. Best of luck!