Seperated but still living together-soa

choccycat

Hi
unfortunately me and my partner decided to seperate.(my situation ad depression too much for him and i feel im bringing him down)
We are still living in the same house but have moved to seperate bedrooms and have agreed that as long as this works its ok for now so I dont have the additional stress of having to find alternative accommodation for myself and our 5 month old daughter.

I just dont know how this will affect my bancruptcy soa though as he does want me to obviously contribute so i have had to claim benefits on a shared basis.
What will I put down on the part where it says rent etc? do i put what the whole amount is or just my share.
Ive written him in the part that asks who else lives with you.
Also he said i can continue to use his car during the day and i saw on the form that it says to write number plate and how much cars worth.Why is this? I dont own my own car and its cheaper this way as i only have to pay for my part of the insurance tax and petrol.

Im just worried about all these little things.Its making me feel sick.The sleepless nights are gradually getting worse and the stress taking over and turning my thoughts into ridiculous scenarios of will i get put in prison.Will it affect my daughter.I am paranoid they will take things that dint belong to me but to my ex partner.
I feel the debts and bankruptcy are like a black hole slowly swallowing me up like quicksand and im upto my neck.

sorry to go on.its fear.any thoughts appreciated.

deedee_3

Is the house mortgaged? joint mortgage? Do you rent? Whose name is on the lease?

They need to check who is the legal owner of the car that is all. They can't take it if it doesn't belong to you.

Nothing will be taken from you unless it is worth £1000's and certainly not if it doesn't belong to you.

You also will NOT go to jail. They no longer have debtor's prison's. The only way you will go to prison is if you have committed fraud. Please don't panic.

choccycat

thanks deedee
the house is joint rented by both of us.I have nothing except a few bits of ikea furniture in my room the babies bits and some clothes.if i had anything of value id gladly give it over but i dont.and ive done nothing illegal.

deedee_3

When you fill your forms in put the full amounts of any joint household bills ie rent, CT, utilities, then where t says does anybody else contribute you put your ex's contribution to those bills. Not his full wage just what he pays to those.

Merry_Gentry

If you are separated from your partner, and can prove that you are separated (living completely separately though - no cooking, cleaning, sharing of chores, etc) you can claim benefits as though you are a single person. I'm not sure if it would work for you since you are using his car, etc.

I know it's difficult, but you need to consider what happens if things don't remain amicable. My husband and I started renting together after going BR, and things went downhill when he joined a dating agency - he was perfectly within his rights to start a new life, etc but it totally screwed up the living arrangements and I ended up having to find a new place for me and the 3 girls as it was impossible to live there anymore.

Is it just you going BR, or him as well? If it's just you, is there any chance you can find somewhere to live before going BR as it becomes more difficult afterwards.

Check out https://www.entitledto.co.uk to find out what you may be entitled to benefits-wise which may help towards your outgoings.

choccycat

i have already applied for whatever benefits i can get as the ex has clearly stated i need to pay my own so i spoke to the benefit people and they were really helpful.we'll be having an inspection at the house to chck our living arrangements are seperate.

Im not ready to go it fully alone yet and if he wants to have his daughter stay close by thats a good thing for her.

Will t affect my br that much tho as we'll be classed as sharing and not partners?

Merry_Gentry

You will need to base your SOA on your share of the bills, rent, etc. It's unlikely you will get an UPA as most of your income sounds like it will be made up of benefits. As for his contribution, if you are doing things 50/50 then work out the total of all the bills, and put down half of that as his contribution. If he is paying more than that, then you put down that percentage.

I'm glad the benefits people are being helpful - did they say anything about you using his car??

choccycat

i was asked do i own a car by the income support people and i said no but i do have use of one so they put that down but didnt ask whos car it was.we will be having an inspection if they ask then do you think its best i tell them its his or should i stop using it for now?
its all a confusing situation so when i fill out the rest of the forms i'll check back for second opinions with you guys. i dont want to put anything that sounds dodgy.

choccycat

oh and its just me going br we have no joint debts except some council tax arrears. we have some gas and electric bill arears too but ive called the companies and are getting a meter installed for both which they are going to add debt too at gas £4 week each and electric £3 week each then whatever we need on top.how will this work with me going br not sure i'll be able to afford the extra £7 week ontop of normal bills too.

Merry_Gentry

choccycat wrote: »

i was asked do i own a car by the income support people and i said no but i do have use of one so they put that down but didnt ask whos car it was.we will be having an inspection if they ask then do you think its best i tell them its his or should i stop using it for now?
its all a confusing situation so when i fill out the rest of the forms i'll check back for second opinions with you guys. i dont want to put anything that sounds dodgy.

It might be worth an anonymous phone call to find out if it would have an effect on the benefit assessment. My understanding is you need to be living completely separately down to not washing any of his dishes, or anything like that...

fiveyearplan

choccycat wrote: »

oh and its just me going br we have no joint debts except some council tax arrears. we have some gas and electric bill arears too but ive called the companies and are getting a meter installed for both which they are going to add debt too at gas £4 week each and electric £3 week each then whatever we need on top.how will this work with me going br not sure i'll be able to afford the extra £7 week ontop of normal bills too.

You will need to deduct the arrears amount from the amount you pay to the gas and elec. Your ex will have to pay the arrears because they will then be his debt NOT yours. IF the gas and elec and council tax and in joint names (whose name are they in - please check) then they will become his debt once you are BR. If they are in your name you need to have the arrears written off as they will go into your BR.