ex-husband left me with huge debt

Lisa_M_6

during our marriage my ex husband ran up huge debts and persuaded me to sign a secured loan for £30k (I had no idea what a bad decision it was at the time). When we separated I discovered that we had arrears on our mortgage, secured loan and coucil tax. I paid these off and have made all subsequent payments on time for the last year with no help from my ex. I work full time and pay a nursery to look after my daughter, who I never see. My ex gives me £20 a month through the CSA and makes no contribution to the house repayments, even though he is still jointly named with me.
I earn £14k p.a. and my mortgage company refused to take his name off because, and I quote, "You have insufficient earnings". I can just manage to break even, but that's without anything but the essentials. This lifestyle is not sustainable.
I am currently discussing court proceedings to remove my ex's name from my house deeds, mortgage and loan.
ANY sensible advice would be gratefully received. Thank you.

Conor_3

Firstly, congratulations on managing to get yourself on track with the payments after being landed with such a shock.

A couple of things:

Does your company participate in the Child Care Voucher Scheme?

Can you complete and post a full Statement of Affairs also listing the rates and balances for your mortgage, loan and any credit cards/overdrafts you may have?

lallyaya

Hi,

Sorry to hear about whats happened and well done for getting this far, I now how it feels for an ex to land you in massive surprise debt and my heart goes out to you.

The other guys are the experts but I wanted to check if you are claiming working tax credit as you and your daughter will definitely be entitled and every bit helps.

Lally

janb5

Hi,

Could I just ask what your job is as you may find that you are eligible for further legal help from your union? I do know what you are experiencing and just how overwhelming it all is.

System

If the loan is in both your names, you are jointly and sevrely<sp> responsable for the debt so they can equally just chase him for the debt.

No1Alicat

Hi Lisa
I experienced something very similar. My ex bullied me into signing for a secured loan (physically intimidated me) while I was pg with DD2. A month later I found out he was seeing someone else. He left a month before the baby was born, and I was suddenly facing mat leave on SMP with just under 1K of mortgage to find a month! (Luckily I was in the position that my parents could help me out until I went back to work)
Then I faced the difficulty of trying to secure a £145K mortgage on a £20K income! After 2 years of managing it (just!) the BSoc agreed to give me the mortgage because I had proved that I could do it.
I took the view that my financial situation would get better and it did - 3 years on, my salary has improved, I've paid off pre-divorce debts he'd run up, and my childcare costs have gradually decreased as the children have got older, so the balancing act is less precarious. So if you think you can manage - even if it would be very tight (it was extremely hard work and depressing at first!) then just keep plodding on and try to stall the mortgage transfer until you have proved to the lender that you can do it. It's paid off for me because the kids have been much less affected by the divorce because their home life hasn't been disrupted too much.
HTH
Do PM me if you want to chat - it was a long hard fight and I'm more than happy to be a shoulder if you needone from someone who's been there.
Hugs,
Alison

bank_of_slate

Wow Alicat,
I can't follow that!
You deserve a bloody knighthood babe!
...Linda xx

No1Alicat

I just felt very strongly that I was going to do everything I could to make sure my kids' lives weren't disrupted too much. I'd put ALL of the deposit on this house from the sale of my own home from before I met DH - it was a huge investment for me and I wasn't about to let the lying cheating scumbag of a bully send it down the pan!!!!! I got by on war-time home economics, selling Usborne books in my 'spare' time (I work full time, always have), doing car boot sales and not spending a thing unless I absolutely had to!!
I don't think that deserves a knighthood - altho I've often wished a knight would come by and sweep us away! :-)
Alison
XX

Lisa_M_6

Thanks for all the replies to my msg. I am touched by your concern and generosity. (Even shed a few tears of relief just to know people understand).

I work for an NHS Trust, so yes I could use childcare vouchers, but don't currently. Will look into it. Ta.
What do you mean by statement of affairs?

I am a member of Unison, but have no idea if they could help me.

I do claim Working Tax Credits.

Big thanks for the msgs of support. Sorry to hear that other people have been !!!! by people they loved. Lets make sure our children never have to go through it.

magentadreamer

Basically it's a list of what your outgoings are and what you have coming in. You'll be suprised at the great advice you'll get from people on ways to cut back and sometimes not actually cutting back but finding something cheaper eg gas/elec household insurance car insurance etc.

tomstickland

Statement of affairs is a list/spreadsheet of income and outgoings per month.