Worried about my Dad

Lizbetty

Hi everyone

I hope that someone might be able to offer some advice please.

My parents are in a pretty dire situation in that my mum has built up a great deal of debt over a considerable amount of time without anyone else's knowledge and to cut a long story short, is now paying it off via the CCCS. She is 60 next year and her and dad weren't planning on retiring, mainly because they can't afford to, but also because they enjoy working (mad I know!). Dad only found out when Peter wouldn't lend her any more money to pay Paul as she was up to the hilt on credit cards, so she had to admit what had happened.

My dad is 60 and has been in his present job for over 10 years. He's always had pay rises and also a promotion, and has never had any issues at work.

He is a fork lift truck fitter, previously he was an HGV fitter and has been for many years and so has lots of knowledge and experience of diesel fitting. His company also deal with electric trucks, although this is not my dad's area as he was primarily taken on as a diesel fitter.

The company he works for has been bought and sold quite a lot, and has been making redundancies in dribs and drabs for quite a few years. They have gotten rid of the stores section and now each fitter has to order their parts on a computerised system. Now it seems like they are getting rid of more and more and it's not looking very bright as you can imagine in the current climate.

At my dad's appraisal a few months ago, they seemed to do a full 360 and say that he is incompetent on computers and electric trucks, and also that his turnaround times were slow. Since then, he has been taken down the disciplinary route and on 9th January they are having a final review meeting to decide whether or not to sack him on the spot. They have not offered him adequate training on computers or electric trucks for him to be fully competent. I think there was a time when he said he didn't really wish to do electric truck training as this was not his skill area, but I think this was quite a while ago and they didn;t say it was mandatory or explain that there was a necessity for it.

The Union rep has said that there may be more redundancies in January but to us this is looking like less of an option as they seem to be trying to get rid of him by either him leaving through the stress of it or sacking him.

He's really gone through it these last few months. He doesn't talk about things much but he's dropped by to see us on his way home from work and his face has been grey with worry. He tends to get aggressive about it if we mention it ('stuff em' kind of attitude, but not so polite!) but really I know it's knocked him for six as he's always been good at his job.

It's upsetting but also worrying as he's already been given pills for high blood pressure and I do worry about him keeping it all in and getting so stressed he has a heart attack or something. I think his grandkids (our 2 little uns) are the only thing keeping him sane at the moment.

He has reviews with his supervisor every Monday and has had a few meetings as part of the disciplinary procedure. He feels that the times he has been given to complete the work have been unrealistic, as apparently the person setting the times is not a fitter. He has asked colleagues who have agreed that it seems like bullying and that the times are not realistic.

One of his colleagues also heard the supervisor say a while ago that they want to get rid of him, which is a pretty horrible thing to be told.

The union rep keeps saying that they can't do this to him, but they obviously are. Dad doesn't tell us much abuot what's going on - my husband has given him a camera phone to take pics of jobs and dad's supposed to be keeping a record of what's happening but I'm not sure that he's documenting everything as he's not an admin person Plus I think he's just trying to get the jobs done as quickly as possible and so doesn't have time for much else. He cut his leg open last week rushing to get a truck finished and rushing into a tow bar!

I have a worry too that the more pressure they're putting dad under, the less confident he is about his work and the more mistakes he may make. He seems to be in a trance a lot of the time through worrying.

Since he complained about unrealistic times they are giving him better trucks to work on but he's up on times on some and down on others.

My mum is pretending she's ok but I have spoken to her this morning and she's sick with worry. She keeps saying she'll see someone for advice if they sack him, etc, but I think it'll be too late then.

It's going to be difficult to find work because of his age and also the jobs situation. I'm worried sick about how they'll manage.

Can anyone offer any advice on what they should do next? Can they do this to him?

Sorry for going on, but we are all dreading January and I guess we are looking for some sort of positivity as there seems none at the moment. Please let me know if you need any more info on his circumstances.

Many thanks folks,
Best wishes
Lucy

Liz_the_Whizz

Hi Lucy,

I'm so sorry to hear about you dad's work problems. The worry is obviously affecting the whole family.

I have seen these situations many times at work - whatever the rights and wrongs, putting someone under intense scrutiny increases pressure and often leads to more mistakes as people try too hard to get things right. The problem is that once a process likes this starts, it rarely results in a favourable outcome for the employee - put anyone under the microscope like this and it magnifies the flaws.

But in terms of positives - part of the problem in this sort of situation is the helplessness which not just you but also your dad is feeling right now, not knowing how to make things better. So, it's time for action.

First, your dad needs to get his trade union rep to give more practical support, not just sympathetic noises. If the local rep can't/won't, your dad should ask to see the district officer to talk about the case - these guys/gals have much more employment law know-how and can usually wipe the floor with employers over poor procedure.

Key points in your dad's case to focus on are: lack of adequate training, before and during the disciplinary process; use of disciplinary procedure to get rid of him on the cheap when redundancies are in the offing; and possible age discrimination.

The TU rep should also look closely at why someone who has always been a valued employee is suddenly not - could be a personality clash with his line manager. Your dad may be seen as a soft target because he is older, hence the possibility of age discrimination.

Finding a way to fight this will help with your dad's self-esteem, which he must be quietly struggling with at present - there is nothing worse that feeling that your work is not valued, especially when it always has been.

Try and get him to set things in motion as soon as possible, as time is short especially with Christmas and New Year fast approaching.

I hope it works out for him. Very best wishes to you and your family - try and take everyone's mind off it over Christmas, you all deserve a break from it.

ceridwen

A very good post from Liz the Whizz.


Do hope things work out well for your father.

Good luck.

Lizbetty

Hi, I'm so sorry for the late reply. I started typing this yesterday and had to abandon ship as my daughter pressed a button which switched the pc off and I never managed to get back on here until now!

Thanks so much for your reply. As soon as it was sent I printed it off and handed it to my mum who was visiting us at the time, who has shown it to dad. It has given them both a bit of fire of in their bellies and mum phoned a solicitor straight away and is intending to make sure that they take it as far as they can with the Union rep. The solicitor did say that the Union may well cover legal costs, which would be fantastic.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your full and supportive reply, and the support from Ceridwen too! Sometimes things seem very bleak, it just takes someone to cast an eye over your problems to put it into perspective. I really appreciate you taking the time to construct such a long and lovely reply!

I'll keep you posted on what happens. Not long to go until 9th January but we're all feeling a lot more positive for dad, and so is he, which is the main thing.

Best wishes, and merry Christmas to all fellow MSE-ers!
Lucy

Horace

Lucy - what you rdad needs to do is to speak to the union rep and push to speak to a solicitor (this is done by speaking to the regional office) - I would warn him not to let on to the union that he has already sought legal advice because once the union know that they will drop him like a stone (it is sad but true). His rep should be doing more and not making noises like he is now.

Good luck.

Liz_the_Whizz

lucyeff,

Well done, you - that's the power of MSE, individually each of us only knows a little bit - together, we can tackle anything:D .

BW to your Mum and Dad.

Liz

McKneff

Liz_the_Whizz wrote: »

lucyeff,

Well done, you - that's the power of MSE, individually each of us only knows a little bit - together, we can tackle anything:D .

BW to your Mum and Dad.

Liz

that goes for me too.
Hopefully they can keep that positive attitude

hayley11

Aww it made me really sad to hear of how they're treating your dad. I would hate to think of my dad being treated this way. In this terrible climate and around christmas, do these people have no heart??

I think the advice you've been given is good and hopefully your dad will get somewhere with the union rep.

Good luck and keep us posted.

alison999

I really cant add anything here but I just hope that it all works out ok - keep us posted and we'll help where we can!

Lizbetty

Liz_the_Whizz wrote: »

lucyeff,

Well done, you - that's the power of MSE, individually each of us only knows a little bit - together, we can tackle anything:D .

BW to your Mum and Dad.

Liz

Crikey Liz, that one sentence made me feel so much better about the state of humanity, seriously! And made me realise how lucky I am to have found everyone on MSE (the lovely ones anyway, hee hee! Which are the majority thankfully!)

I will most certainly pass on all of your lovely best wishes and thanks again for being so supportive. It's an awkward situation, I had my bum clenched in fear of the 'well, it's tough, they're within their right' type of response as he's in such an awkward situation in that he isn't able to do something they're now asking of him (the computers, electric trucks), but the replies have all been so lovely and helpful. It's really made me feel much more confident and I can pas sthat onto my parents, too.

I really hope you all have a great Christmas break and all enjoy a healthy and happy 2009.

Bestest wishes
Lucy

Lizbetty

Hi everyone

Just to keep you posted, and possibly for some advice as well?

My dad's meeting planned today was cancelled, the Union rep advised him a few days ago.

But then he was called into the office yesterday (while the Union rep was away - on his own pretty out of the blue) and told that his performance had mostly improved but they would be taking it to the final stage, which is a hearing with HR where they grill him and he would get chance to put his point across.

They would look at possible redeployment (not an option as they've shut most of it down!) and possibly dismiss him on the spot.

As you can imagine, dad was pretty gutted and one of his colleagues mentioned he was looking quite ill - mum said the same, he was really pale, which is a worry as the doc did say his blood pressure wasn't great.

I mentioned to mum that he might be as well taking some time off to get away from the stress as he's really not coping I don't think at all.

He rang the Union rep who said he'd spoken to one of the directors briefly about dad's situation, the director had said that they would sort dad out with redundancy (but that's supposed to be top secret and dad wasn't supposed to tell me that).

Dad is feeling better about it, he took today off sick and will probably have a few days as he's still not right. The Union rep said it would be a good idea to see the doc about it too.

I can't help feeling that he seems to have been manipulated though. One minute he's flavour of the month and getting rises and promotion, the next minute he's being told his work isn't up to scratch any more.

Mum says that he'll probably be given a form to sign to say he won't take further action if he accepts redundancy. We do know that the probability is they'll be cutting staff to the bare minimum but keep the department going indefinitely.

What do you think folks? Do you think he should/could take it further? He's 60 now and I do think it'll be a struggle for him to find somethingon the same wage tbh, despite the whole age discrimination thing. I won't tell him I think that of course.

Again, thanks every one for your help.

Best wishes
Lucy