How do you cope with Christmas Social Events?

alxx_b

Morning fellow DFWs

Today is the first day of my new DFW life - after having good talks with my OH the other night I'm going to do my best from now on to watch my spending, sell what I don't need and hopefully make sure we have more coming in than going out!

However I'm in a quandry - I have my OH's christmas works party tomorrow and I'm not sure I have anything to wear. Or at least, nothing I feel good in. I'm actually at the point where I just don't want to go so I don't have to spend the money on a new outfit or the booze or the taxi we'll have to get back. How do you cope with the festive season when socialising comes with such expectations? I cannot go and not drink as I'm quite shy anyway so I wouldn't make it through the night of making small talk with people I don't know. I need to feel confident and good or I'll just feel worse the next day.

Unfortunately all of this costs money I really know I shouldn't be spending....

Miss_Piggy_2

To be honest I do tend to avoid these sorts of gatherings now. I just tend to think I'd rather spend the money on something productive. And I've never enjoyed work christmas parties anyway (God, I'm getting old:rotfl: )

I guess you have to weight up whether you want to go, whether you can afford to go etc

Miss P
xx

pebblespop

can you borrow an outfit from a friend and sneak a bottle of vodka in your handbag!

maybe ask a friend/family for a lift to/from the party and return the favour for their xmas party/

alxx_b

Unfortunately I'm bigger than all of my friends so no hope of borrowing anything, hopefully though we're getting a lift to the party from Himself's Dad so at least that's a tenner saved I guess

Tinka21

I can't really help much i'm afraid as I have had to make excuses for my xmas party this year by saying we can't get baby sitters. :rolleyes:

On the clothing front if you really must buy something new have you got a primark near you? not brilliant quality but really cheap! Or could you not accessorise existing clothes you have got? or even alter them if needs be? Just thought as i tend to accessorise my boring clothes with belts, jewellery brooches etc... and have a few drinks at home before you go to the party then drink less while you are there??

debtdesperado

Hey alxx... don't become a hermit as you'll crash and burn, get utterly fed up, think s*d it and then go and blow loads of cash getting a social life back!

Part of facing a debt problem is not just about the money and the sums, it's about looking at the things in your life which you have sorted out/hidden by spending cash on something new to either distract you from feeling bad or made you feel better.

This is the hard bit to face! I had my office christmas party and managed not to spend any money - which is a complete first!

Yes, I felt a bit rubbish in my outfit (it was fancy dress, but I didn't want to spend any money, so just wore last years' dress... unfortunately it was a bit tight, so it wasn't the most comfortable night out), and I have stopped drinking (am still getting used to socialising sober!) so I felt that my conversation was a bit stilted, and I left early to get the bus rather than have to spend on a taxi or pay for a club entrance... but amazingly it was FINE!

Once everyone else had a few drinks, it was easy to chat/dance as I realise that once everyone else is plastered they get more sociable. So I didn't have fancy dress... it didn't matter really. People might have thought that I was a bit boring, but once the party got started no one was really looking at me anyway, and I looked festive enough in my party dress.

It's one night, and it will be over... your debts last longer. Weigh it up and make your choices...:)

ElizabethJH

I totally agree with debtdepserado... face the issue that got you into debt. If everytime you go out you have to have a drink and have to have a new outfit, then you need to work on these as well.... I was in a similar situation as I suffer from anxiety - which is worse in social situations... therefore out comes the drink! I found that by taking a part time job in a bar it forced me into socialising sober and I got lots better... I never get over the anxiety the feelings are always there before I go out, but I know once I'm out that I can handle it!!

PS If you really need a drink, me and my friends snook in bottles of wine by wrapping them up and giving them to each other as christmas presents last year......

Uniscots97

alxx_b wrote: »

Unfortunately I'm bigger than all of my friends so no hope of borrowing anything, hopefully though we're getting a lift to the party from Himself's Dad so at least that's a tenner saved I guess

Clothes wise, there's two choices.


Raid the charity shops or ask a friend if you can borrow accessories and ake them for their help in choosing an outfit out of what you have. They may think of something you haven't and may have just the accessory to finish off the look. Even a bright shawl or brooch can completely change the outfit.

Sarahsaver

acessorise!
use a bag and shoes you have not worn for ages
if you say you have 'nothing' you feel right in there seems to be a further issue here Borrow goks or trinny and susannahs book from the library.
if you feel better about yourself it wont matter what you wear!

raq

hi there

Awful isn't it with so much going on. I have had quite a few nights out over the last 3 weekends, ( another one tonight, although I don't feel up to it ). I haven't bought anything. I wear a dress that I had in the summer to one of them. Asked my mother to make a silk bow tie to go on my black blouse and the other night I wore what I had last christmas, and do you know what nobody noticed that. I also slipped a small bottle in my bag and spent £8.00 all evening.

You certainly won't be on your own this year what with so many people have little money

All the best and you will be fine.

x

poppy_f1

i have bought a new dress for my works night out next week, i budgetted for it when i got paid and also its in a style that i will deffo wear again at some point anyway
have all other accessories anyway
paid for my ticket from last months wage so its only really drinking money i'll need and some vodka will be smuggled in with me