More money than sense??Please help

Minty_2

(it was suggested I post here so appologies if you've already read it)
Firstly, Hello to anyone reading, I'm new to this site & hope you wise owls can help steer me in the right direction.
My situation is this-
After 5yrs of working part time due to a car accident
my personal injury claim has finally come through.
I'm proud to say I have no debt, loans or credit and managed without any benifits (though it could be a different story if I hadn't had support from my partner and family)
My partner works full time & we rent our home.
I'm starting to discover the extent of his debts which amount to about 30k, obviously I want to help but feel reluctant just to throw money at the problem without checking all the options.
The claim I received was a substantial sum of 125k, I still have to visit a clinic 2-4 times a month and time off work when symptons are bad, so a cushion of money is useful.
We have quite different spending habits, I was raised to save for what you want & if you cant afford it you cant have it! He on the other hand (lets call 'im Rich cuz he spends like he is! Will have now pay later, to the extent that his debts swallow up his salary & hes in the red a week into the month, so his debt just gets bigger.
I've never encouraged Rich to use his credit cards & his support to me over the years is just to pay his share not support me financially, if I've needed to borrow I've always gone to my family.
I suggested to Rich that we look into an IVA & freeze the interest, cut up his cards & have a clean slate in 5yrs. But it would seem some of these debts are in his parents name & I'm not sure he would qualify.
I dont have a pension but Rich does, personally I'd like to use up our cash ISA allowance for 2004&05 & stash 12k, again not before looking into an IVA & whether he'd still qualify for it with savings.
With my claim I opened a new account with A&L 6 working days ago. On their advice an EasySaver just to clear it then to open a Premier current account & to yoyo £500 from say my HSBC account back & forth each month, judging by the threads already mentioning A&L speed & service I'm a little sceptical already. (I still dont have a pin number)
So if anyone out there has any advice for me I'd be most grateful.
Minty

Martinslovechild

Could you lend Rich £30K at 0% and make sure he pays you back £500 per month every month. This way, the debt will be gone in 5 years.

nh

Yes, I suggested something similar on the other board. It is a good idea as long as he gets his spending sorted and doesn't get into that much debt again.

I say take all his credit cards etc off him, get his wage paid into your account and just give him weekly pocket money! He may not think this is such a good idea though...

It would be good in the long-term if the £30k could be paid back at 0% (though you would lose the 4% or so that it would gain in interest). But if you are going to stay together and 'throw your lot in with each other' (as my hubby to be calls it) this may be the best option.

Also, make sure you get a good savings account for your £125k - I reckon Bradford and Bingley do the best easy-access one at 5.35% at the moment, but I am sure someone else can give you better advice on that on the savings board.

Milky_Mocha

Excuse any cynicism but did the extent of his debts only become apparent after you got the £125k? Did you meet him before or after you received the compensation?

If your spending habits are so different then that could be a bad foundation for a future together. Someone with his spending attitude is clearly irresponsible.It saddens me to see this situation occur time and time again to good people. The careful spender is always the kind one willing to help and the big spender takes advantage.

Sit back and honestly re-assess your situation. Even if you lent him £30k at 0% will he repay or truly make every effort to repay regularly without excuses? Ask yourself, will he? If the answer is probably not then this might sound harsh but you are better off without him!

mini

Forgive me being a little suspicious too, I would say to keep your money in your name, you could offer to match how ever much he pays off his debts after working out a repayment plan as an incentive say after 12 months. Ffor me he would have to prove he's determined to solve his own problem with help, if you pay it off it may make him worse & knowing you have that money he may expect you to pay it off again, I have seen people do it when their parents have paid off their debts, slightly diferent.

£30,000 is approx a 1/4 of your compensation, that is a lot of your financial security for YOUR future, I haven't read your othe rpsost I can only hope I am offending you, what is your gut feeling about what you want to do? You don't have to tell us, but don't feel pressured into paying off his debts, if you do & he runs up more debts with his rate of spending you may feel resentful (I think I would)

kind regards, mini

King_David_2

Are you June off The Bill by any chance?

Jim Carver has £30k worth of debts and she's about to pay that off.

Seriously though, in this situation I'd be looking at possibilities, some not very nice, if you were to take any action to clear the debt.

What if the relationship broke down? That would be your money quite possibly disappearing without any chance of getting it back. If you trust your partner and know they wouldn't do such a thing, then there isn't a problem.