Scared!

ClareMary_2

This is my first time, I feel completly sick and I'm hoping someone can try and point me in the right direction to deal with our problem. I need help in sorting out a £60k debt. My husband and I have approx 12 credit/store cards between us, and at present I'm having to draw funds on them to survive each month. There is very little credit available now to use, we sold our house last year and have no funds available from the sale, we are renting, have two children, I'm suffering from depression, turning to drink to drown my sorrows, my husband shys away from it and I am too afraid to discuss with him the severity anymore. Both sets of parents are ill at present and the worry of us asking for help I'm sure would finish them off! Should I approach one of the recommended debt agencies first, however, I'm worried this will seriously effect our credit status and we will then not be able to get a mortgage. Up until now I've been able to make payments albeit using credit cards (cash withdrawals), this month is now another issue, I am so scared, please point me in the right direction as I'm unable to talk to anyone about it.

skintchick

Hi - you're in teh right place and we will help you through this.

If you feel able, could you post all your incomings and outgoings for us? That wya we can see where we can save you some money.

Also, list all your debts and APRs adn minimum payments, so we can help you juggle them the best way.

Dont; be scared any more - we will get this sorted for you.

(((hugs)))

Little_Miss_Winner

Hello Clare,

Welcome to mse. You have come to the right place, there will be loads of posters along soon to offer you loads of help.

I personally don't know much about the debt agencies, what sort of incomings do you available to you. Do your/your husband work?

You need to sit down and write of where you are upto at the mo.

Include all incomings, then all your creditors, and what you owe.

I know it will be hard, but will be worth it.

Big (((((hugs))))) for now.

Keep posting.
pot
x

Little_Miss_Winner

oops - "snap" skintchick x

.....(skulks away, as skintchick is obviously the quicker typist!)

skintchick

But your accuracy is better!!

ms_london

ClareMary wrote:

This is my first time, I feel completly sick and I'm hoping someone can try and point me in the right direction to deal with our problem. I need help in sorting out a £60k debt. My husband and I have approx 12 credit/store cards between us, and at present I'm having to draw funds on them to survive each month. There is very little credit available now to use, we sold our house last year and have no funds available from the sale, we are renting, have two children, I'm suffering from depression, turning to drink to drown my sorrows, my husband shys away from it and I am too afraid to discuss with him the severity anymore. Both sets of parents are ill at present and the worry of us asking for help I'm sure would finish them off! Should I approach one of the recommended debt agencies first, however, I'm worried this will seriously effect our credit status and we will then not be able to get a mortgage. Up until now I've been able to make payments albeit using credit cards (cash withdrawals), this month is now another issue, I am so scared, please point me in the right direction as I'm unable to talk to anyone about it.

Hi there. Well done on taking the first step & posting - thats always the hardest part!! You have most definately come to the right place!!

There are plenty of people that can help - but please stay away from the debt agencies that charge you a fee for helping you, there are plenty of free agencies that do this - payplan are one, and I have heard good things about them.

Do you have enough money for this month? Have all your payments gone out or are DD's still due to leave your account? I suggest that you concentrate on making the most important payments, mortgage, gas/electric/water, council tax, car insurance and the such like, but cancel your DD's for other payments i.e. towards your debts. At least that will buy you a bit of time and give you money for food & necessities until your next payday.

You need to sit down and work out exactly what you have coming in, and what you have coming out, exactly who you owe money to, your balance, available balance (if any), interest rate & the minimum payment they require each month. They cannot have what you dont have, so I suggest that once you have worked this out, and budgeted for things like food/petrol/transport costs, you then have to divide what you have left amongst your creditors (which does vary depending on who the creditor are, whether's its unsecured/secured and the APR) and then call them ALL, explain your situation and agree a monthly repayment you CAN afford. Ask them to freeze interest/charges in the meantime, which some of them will do - just be honest with them, the worst thing you can do is ignore their calls/letters. They will just be less likely to help you.

Could you get someone to babysit the children tonight, so that you and your OH can have some quiet time to seriously discuss everything? You need to work as a team, and you need to feel as though you have each others support & you are not facing things on your own. People deal with this in different ways, but you need to sort it out as the longer you try and forget about it, the worse it will become!

You can talk to us here, we are here to listen & to help - dont feel as though you are alone.

((((((Hugs)))))))

Ms_London xx

robertbruce

Hi
I've seen it posted elsewhere that you have to take the first step to get anywhere, and this debt you are facing is no different. Well done on taking the first step. I suggest as Ms London posted previously, that you get your team together, in this case that is yourself and your husband.

Now take a deep breath and start the reality check that is so necessary at this stage.
You DO have an income, but probably not enough. You DO have outstanding bills, and probably overpowering demands from the people who sent them.

PUT THEM ASIDE FOR 1 week while you assess your situation. It is unlikely that you will make anything any worse in that time, but it will make a difference to you in addressing the bigger picture. (The exception to this is any pending legal actions which should not be left unattended, but approached to ask for some time to analyse the situation).

Its the same list of IN and OUT monies which form your starting point as it does for almost everyone on this site. See other posts for the best way to compile your list and then begin to tackle the ones that you CAN do something about.

Loads of help available around this site so just ask whatever is needing the most attention to help you improve your situation. Cheers. Bob.

Janey51

Hi Clare. I really feel for you. It feels so lonely to be at the stage you are and its worse just after Christmas isn't it?
Take a deep breath and try and see this for what it is. You haven't committed a crime, circumstances in your life have brought about a situation which you are now trying to deal with. It sounds like your husband is in denial at the moment and you are trying to take everybody's problems on your own shoulders. THe most important person you should think about is you. Have a big bar of chocolate and shae all the problems with people who can help whether its the other members of MSE or one of the FREE debt advice agencies.
As for your credit status...its probably about to take a nose-dive anyway as you can't keep juggling. I found this out to my own cost.
Take care and remember you are not the only one in this situation.

halloweenqueen_2

Good luck Clare, you can't be in a better place to get help , there are people here who are going through the same and poeple who have come out of it. The old style money saving board can help you get more for your money as you still have to live. look at the utilites board to see if you can cut down your costs there. I hope you can get some emotional support instead of drinking as that will only increase your depression and then you will drink more because you are depressed. Really feel for you, please keep posting, there are lots of people on here who will gladly help you.

Thefunkygibbons

It would be easy to jump in with advice, but as advised you need a plan

Take the time to get all the information together and then owrk out how to deal with it

In reality, getting the next mortage is the least of your worries, as your credit rating is already in trouble

Your goals are to maintain a happy family life, sort out the debt and see the light at the end of the tunnel by working together

Sit down and do that SOA together as soon as you can

jellycat40

Hi there

Welcome to the site that will support you through this nasty mess. I believe that very few people get themselves into this type of mess on purpose so do not be hard on yourself.

i agree with previous posts and would suggest that you take 7 days to sort out all that you owe and all that you have coming in. Make it into a list and get all the account numbers to hand with the most up to date statements.

Then give one of the agencies a ring. I used payplan https://www.payplan.co.uk. They are brilliant and don't make you feel bad.

I was very similar to you. I had reached the stage that the only way I could pay was to take cash from cards and pay with them when the bills came in. It is soul destroying but stop now. You need to pay a nominal amount while you sort this out so after your seven days whatever you decide with your agency you will do to sort this out you will need to write a short letter to all your creditors saying due to a change in circumstances you will no longer be able to meet your commitment to them and that your finances are being sorted by ????? who will contact them direct. You then need to send a minimum of £1 per creditor each time the bill comes in. In your letter you need to advise that you will do this as a gesture of good faith.

Chin up sweetheart it is not the end of the world it just feels like it at the mo.

Louise