6 days and counting - do I need to do anything else?

Sophrosyne

Hi,

BR date booked at court on 9th of December. My SOA and forms are filled in (am off to the library to make extra copies at the weekend). I've transferred child benefit and maternity allowance into my partner's account. I have a Co-op account already. Have cancelled direct debits to creditors (although I have left the ones I wish to keep after BR, am hoping that OR will declare no interest in the account - is this OK?). Is there anything else I need to do before the big day?

I am feeling quite fed up about everything at the moment. Am getting stressed and my partner, who is more of the strong silent type than me, is getting annoyed when I get tearful or worried. He thinks its just a straightforward case of writing off my debts and moving on but I feel like a loser and am paranoid that something is going to go wrong. I hope these feelings pass once it is all done and dusted.

scooby1001

I am afraid i can't answer your question as i am only thinking about going bankrupt at present but i want to say good luck. How easy was it to fill in the form. I down loaded it and took one look and got cold feet. Do you have to send in proof of all your income and debts?

chelseabun_3

Hi Sophrosyne,

BR is a real emotional rollercoaster, and you'll go through some major highs and lows on the journey! You're not a loser - you're proactively doing something to really sort out your problems, and you will feel better when it's done. But expect a real feeling of anticlimax and maybe a few tears as a result!

Re your co-op account, you can tell the OR that this is the account for use after BR when you speak to them on the day. You can also write it on the form - we did, and it seemed ok to do that. They often tell people that the co-op account may be frozen for a day or two, but they'll sort it out as quickly as possible. My OH's account didn't get frozen at all. Just keep an eye on it to make sure no DDs get missed if it is frozen for a day or so - but it should be ok.

Scooby - you don't take any proof of income or debts with the form 6.28 - that happens later when the OR contacts you after BR for your interview. They will look at your forms and tell you what info they need. The forms are daunting, I know, but do them a bit at a time and ask loads of questions on here, and you'll get through them. CBx;)

2Loose

May I suggest doing the forms online if possible, rather than writing them out. I did mine over a week and the forms on the https://www.insolvency.gov.uk site show you how far you are through each bit, as well as which bits you have already completed etc. It really helped me stay organised and it let me know which bits needed to be revisited on another evening if I hadn't finished a particular section. It looked daunting at first, but doing bite size chunks made it far easier. Oh, and Chealseabun is spot on - you will wonder what the worry was about once it is done, so hang in there and remember - baby steps, one little one at a time!

LilyBart

Hi Sophrosyne,
It sounds as though you're really well organised and prepared so, no, you don't need to do anything else. As to how things at home are going - your feelings and the gap in understanding between yourself and your partner - it sounds pretty normal. It is a stressful and emotionally draining process, because much as we all force ourselves to think analytically about bankruptcy while preparing for it, most people's relationships with money are as murky as a love-affair gone bad or a difficult family dynamic. I was lucky in doing through this at the same time as my partner (our bankruptcy orders are one digit apart, and we went in to see the judge together), but I can imagine how difficult it is for those who do it on their own now I've been handed on to an Insolvency Practitioner while my OH has remained with the OR. When you're in it together, it's much easier to empathise, and I guess that's another reason that this forum is so invaluable. Anyway, the feelings of - what? - loss or inadequacy or fear or whatever it is you're going through will fade and change as time goes by. It's an enormous relief when the phone calls and letters from creditors slowly stop, and an even more enormous relief when you've got the OR interview out of the way. Bankruptcy isn't some kind of magic bullet. It's intensely bureaucratic *and* emotionally draining, and, speaking personally, I didn't feel euphoric when I left the court. But you will begin to feel better and less stressed by and by. And it does offer a new start. Chances are that your partner will never understand entirely what you're going through, but when the dust has settled, you'll be stronger. Anyway, good luck and you know that if you need people to "talk to" who've had direct experience of it, there are so many brilliant and kind people here with all sorts of different perspectives on it.
best
Lily

Sophrosyne

Thanks Lilybart and everyone who has offered supportive comments. I think the problem with my OH is that he has always been super careful and organised with money (he also hasn't suffered from stress and anxiety and missed long periods of time off work necessitating living on credit) therefore he doesn't really know what it feels like to be in debt with no hope of paying it off.

I think the reason I feel like a loser at the moment is also to do with the fact that I am not working and essentially being supported by my partner. I've always been quite independent and it's weird feeling this way. I know that the reason I am not working is because I am on maternity leave and that looking after a small baby IS work, I will be working 1 day per week in January and gradually increasing that over time but I feel like I've lost myself a bit. Feeling fed up about the bankruptcy is just a part of needing to re-adjust my life. I guess this is why I'm really looking forward to the start of the new year and a new start...