Store Cards and an addictive shopper!

emilyk

hiya,

Its taken me a long time to admit but I am addicted to shopping. It started with needing credit to get myself some clothing when money was tight, it was the easy option to be able to get what i needed quickly and pay for it bit by bit after..
But then it got very addictive, seeing things that i really liked, ordering it - not always things for myself but often for presents for the kids, husband etc.. I kept it secret from my husband, would say id saved and bought things over the year for xmas, bdays etc.. I'd hide my statements and only order if i could get things delivered when he was at work.
Very quickly my credit limit went up and up and i never once asked to increase it - but would find on each statement that it had been increased. Id started with Next, first place id ever got credit, started with a limit of around £300 and now have a limit of £3,800!
I then went to lxdirect, and was given a simliar credit limit.

Before i knew it, i owed quite a lot of money, with the interest it wasnt easy to clear. Last year i got a provident loan to clear both accounts. Cost me a fortune in interest on the loan but was the best way for me to clear it as i knew i had to pay the loan every week as the provident lady comes for it every week!
Then.. money gets a little tight again and it was so easy to go to the accounts again and place an order... Soon i owed alot out again and found myself hidung statements etc.. It was horrible. I hated lying to my husband but knew he'd go mad if he found out id done it again.
I was always making payments on time but because of the interest - especially on my lxdirect it just wasnt going down. They bombarded me with 'buy-now-pay-later' emails etc etc and each time i spent on it. Of course the debt just built up and up again.
I managed to clear my next account - again! I rang and asked them to close it (just as i had before) and they said they would -i just logged in a min ago and was able to access my account! I rang and asked why they hadnt closed it - they said it is closed but if i log in or place an order it will just open automatically. When i log in my £3,800 credit limit is still there! I find it hard to stop spending abd thats why i wanted my account closed - so the temptation isnt there, but they wont close it down properly!
My lx account is getting there - ive cleared most of it now and am now just getting it in credit so when my next bnpl comes on it will clear it before they add interest. They were really good when i called and explained my situation - they removed my credit limit for me so i cant order until my account is clear - and when its clear i will call up and close it!

I just find it so hard, i know people will say im stupid and i totally agree - i shouldnt be buying things i cant afford - i dont even need half the things i buy now - it was such a buzz just browsing for things. Even when i go to the supermarket to do the weekly shop i find myself going to the clothes dept - EVERY WEEK i buy something for the kids, yes im paying cash this time but id rather be saving it. I guess one way of explaning it is like a rush just to pick something up and put it in the trolley. Its exciting, and just thinking about shopping gives me a feel good feeling in my stomach, but then i get so annoyed with myself and tell myself that next week i will just do the FOOD shopping - nothing else!

I hate this, i really do, i cant talk to anyone about it because a) im so ashamed of myself, and b) i feel like many people will just think im being stupid - that i should just stop - just like that!...
Has anyone else had this problem? If so, how did you break the habit?

kazmc

I dont know what to say or have any advice to offer but didnt want to read and run.
Good luck and at least you are dealing with your debt thats a step in the right direction. Maybe you need a hobby or something to take your attention away from the spending?? Become obsessed about something else???
Anyway all the best
Karen x

emilyk

thanks karen! lol, you are right - i do need to be obsessed with something else! - Something not so expensive! lol.

Im so annoyed with Next - i explained why i want to close my account and they just wont close it properly! They know how to keep hold of you!

bargainbetty

You could try the Data Protection Act approach..... write to them explaining that you have tried to close your account permanently but have been advised that it has been retained. Formally request that it be closed immediately, and that all your details be removed from their records (including marketing offers etc) with immediate effect.

It's a bit strong, but it might work. Good luck x

emilyk

hi, thanks! I think ill give that a go..! Will, let you know how i get on!

debtfreein4years

good luck

really hope that you get the account with next closed in full, as it could still be showing as availible credit on your credit report as well which could have a detrimental effect should you want to apply for something in a couple of years time and ahve a large limit with next.

im the same as you have blew 17K on nothing, love going into a shop and buying something even if it is just a notebook (which i dont need as have about 50)

what stopped me going on my shopping binges was not being able to get any more credit and at 23 thats quite a shock. I blame the banks slightly as my very first credit card at 18 had a 10K limit as they based it on the household income and my parents are long standing customers of the bank. i went on a spree, handbags, clothes, molton brown toiletries, benefit and chanel make up.

its ridiculous now what i spent it on, and even now i find it odd that i think a 30 quid mosturiser is cheap as the one i used to buy was a hundred quid at a time. i have really stopped spending as i want to get a mortgage with my boyfriend, but wont be able to do that until i clear the debt, although 8K is in his name, so thats slightly better for my rating but in order to do that, ive had to cut up my cards and i do my grocery shopping online and spend about 3 hours doing it as i have to justify each purchase and think do i need that pack of crisps etc.

i now only take cash out with me and the joint account card, as im not tempted to spend on the joint account card (but if i need something for the house i use that) and i also find with cash i really really have to need it in order to hand the money over, i cant justify handing over 3 quid for a magazine or something when i have to part with the cash wheras before i wouldnt think twice about handing over my card.

good luck, i really hope that you can break the addiction, its hard really really hard, and you will relapse at times but you just need to remember why you are doing it.