Absolutely desperate here

Peter_Simon

edinburgher wrote: »

Re. the expensive hobbies, these can probably be trimmed. I grew up with parents who certainly couldn't afford to pay for these sorts of things and I didn't love them any less for it.

I'm sure your kids will adapt just as well - after all, they'd rather have happy and loving parents than a weekend activity (although being kids, they may not admit it!)

I'd agree to definitely level with your kids. My parents lost a lot of property in the last recession and times were very tough for a few years, but they leveled with me and my sister and I think it helped all of us. I had to work my way partly through university, but I ended up with a much better understanding of money than if I had not known the truth. When they told us I wanted to do my bit to help and release a bit of the burden, I am sure your kids will want to do the same. They love you afterall not your money.

This stuff is easier if played as a team game.

meema

Hi Sarahg,

Just wanted to add my support! What you said about finding the whole situation embarrassing really struck a chord with me. I found that once I managed to deal with my shame at being in so much debt & not having much money, things got a lot easier. I just started to tell my friends & family that I couldn't afford to do certain things with them and luckily they have been fantastic!!! When I told them how much debt I was in they realised I wasn't just using it as an excuse not to do stuff. I hope you and your husband start to realise there is no shame in being caught up in debt & that the social pressure eases up.

I also noticed that lots of your SOA items were estimates..when I get confused about my money I list everything (even stamps) that I bought that day and keep doing it for a month. I always find it quite surprising to find where exactly my money goes. I also always spend less when I know I'm gonna see it all written down in black and white.

Hope you find all the support and help you need here!!! x

bunny_boiler

Horace wrote: »

Has your hubby thought of using a factoring service to get money out of clients? Banks often run this service - that way you get paid on the value of the invoice and the bank chases the customer so that they then pay them instead of you. It might be worth a look.

factoring can be good but be very very careful of companies that do it they dont necessarily get your money quick they just reinvoice and add extra intersest and charges on for doing it
my DH lost his business coz of factoring company chose wrong one

we now tell clients on invoices with small statment at the bottom that any invoices unpaid over certain timescale will inucurr interset of 2.5% for ever month unpaid!
works better for us but look at all options
hope things look better
good luck