Grrrr @ partners

Glittermonkey

My boyfriend just doesn't think when it comes to money, so i dont suppose its any coincidence that i was debt free when i started going out with him!

His attitude is money is there to spend and never worries about budgeting.

I've showed him the snowball calculator, so he knows exactly how much debt we are in. I control all the bills etc so at least they do get paid.

A few months ago i set him up with internet banking so that i could transfer money from his account to mine to pay off our debts. I was hoping that the fact he knew i could access his account and moan at him for spending for no reason would be enough to stop him, but it's not.

I cancelled Sky and he isnt happy, he tells me he would rather pay £50 pm for it. When i tell him it's a luxury we cant afford when we owe so much money, he tells me £50 is nothing, we can still afford it! Grrrrr... this is £600 per year which we could pay into our card.

Am i alone with a useless bf like this? He doesn't live with me right now but spends quite a bit of time here which is why he wants sky etc.

Even though he doesn't live here, he pays me quite a bit of money towards the debts as he helped create them and i've been at home looking after mini minkey while working part time.

*Louise*

Ooohhh...your bloke sounds exactly like mine!!

He thinks money is there just to be spent, and we can pay things easily. (the total in my siggy, 10 grand of it is his)

I know this sounds a bit mean, but I now control all our money. he had a run in with the TSB and couldn't get a bank account a few years back, so he put all his wages into my account to look after, and we never bothered changing it, which suits me fine, hehe. He gets money every week, and can't go overboard, or we would be in trouble.

Have you shown your b/f a sheet of paper with all outgoings added up on it? Sometimes that seems clearer than some figures on a screen. And stand your ground about the sky...£50 to watch some extra channels seems like an awful waste when you don't really want it. (Anyway, if it's your place, then you decide!)

Best of luck with him

Glittermonkey

Hi Louise,

He has seen it in black and white and i thought that would be the moment that made him face up to it all but nope.. i dont know what will make him realise.

I had a chat with him today and told him i would be taking £1000 from his income from now on to pay off our debts, he said ok but i think he was too busy lookign out the window at the time :mad: He will soon see how serious i am.

Trouble with him, figures go over his head, so he never really understands when i start talking about APRs and interest.

My signature doesn't even include the debt he has run up on his credit card. I did include his at one point but i've given up now and will concentrate on the ones in my name first.

Sky has gone, i cancelled it on Friday when he wasn't here!

GM x

MPH80

Trust me - everyone has their lightbulb moment in different ways and it's great you've had yours, but now he has to have his.

When I was sharing a house - just after I had my 'first' lightbulb. I was trying to show my housemate how much debt he was in and how much it was costing him.

He was really in to his computers (just like me). So I got him to price up his ideal computer - we spent ages doing it. He got all the specs together, got all the prices ... and said wow - I'd love that.

Then we did his interest bill for the last 12 months (or rather - what we could - he didn't have all the statements) - and I pointed out to him that had he not been paying the interest on these bills - he would have been able to buy 3 of those computers.

That caused his lightbulb. He's almost free of debt now I think.

I've used it once or twice since too. I find it's an effective method.

Perhaps you can find it with your boyfriend too? Find his weakness and show him how much more of it he could afford if he didn't have the debt.

The only danger is - and it did backfire on me once - when someone said "yes - but it'll take me years to pay this off - so it doesn't matter" and actually went out and just bought a car on credit - literally just after talking to me - and he hadn't been planning to up to that point.

M.

Glittermonkey

I think i may know his lighbulb moment.

As i said he doesn't live with me or mini monkey for various reasons, one of them was how he was with his money. So maybe the threat of not being able to come home until his money is under control will make him buckle up? I feel mean doing that but something drastic has to be done.

Luckily for me, it doesn't enter his mind to apply for anything on credit, get loans, another card, a car etc. So at least i know he wont run up anymore debt which i a relief.

GM