Invited to wedding in germant a week before xmas!

SuperSaverSue_2

Long story so will keep it short! Hubby has this old school friend, not majorly kept in touch over last 9 yrs and while him and his g/f were studying, we never saw them for a good 2 yrs. She got pregnant and didnt hear from her the whole time, wouldnt meet us at weekends as they had the baby!!! Friend was our best man although didnt take it too seriously and was hungover at our rehersal and was sick in the church grounds!

Now they are getting married in germany week before xmas, only told us few days ago and she just messaged me asking if we had booked the flight/hotel and car hire! They have fallen out with his family and her's are in germany so they dont buy any christmas presents, not even for each other. I have big family and 1 daughter so xmas is a very pricey time, also we are due to exchange contracts for our new house but still expected to find over £300 at short notice!!

Hubby doesnt want to upset his friend, what would you do?

galvanizersbaby

SuperSaverSue wrote: »

Long story so will keep it short! Hubby has this old school friend, not majorly kept in touch over last 9 yrs and while him and his g/f were studying, we never saw them for a good 2 yrs. She got pregnant and didnt hear from her the whole time, wouldnt meet us at weekends as they had the baby!!! Friend was our best man although didnt take it too seriously and was hungover at our rehersal and was sick in the church grounds!

Now they are getting married in germany week before xmas, only told us few days ago and she just messaged me asking if we had booked the flight/hotel and car hire! They have fallen out with his family and her's are in germany so they dont buy any christmas presents, not even for each other. I have big family and 1 daughter so xmas is a very pricey time, also we are due to exchange contracts for our new house but still expected to find over £300 at short notice!!

Hubby doesnt want to upset his friend, what would you do?

Tell them you can't make it due to credit crunch and other commitments?!

mrcow

Or let your husand go on his own, stay overnight and fly back the next day on the cheap?

Personally I wouldn't go. It's an expensive time of year. Just tell them that you'll all meet up to clelbrate once they're back int he UK. If they are proper friends, they are not going to mind one bit.

If they do mind, then that's their problem.

You can't have a wedding abroad and just expect people to come. It's very rude.

SuperSaverSue_2

mrcow wrote: »

Or let your husand go on his own, stay overnight and fly back the next day on the cheap?

Personally I wouldn't go. It's an expensive time of year. Just tell them that you'll all meet up to clelbrate once they're back int he UK. If they are proper friends, they are not going to mind one bit.

If they do mind, then that's their problem.

You can't have a wedding abroad and just expect people to come. It's very rude.

The thing is, it would be a 2 night stay as wedding is in the morning!

Cheers

tinkerbell84

They don't sound like close friends, so why put yourself out to that extent?

You don't sound like you want to go anyway.

poet123

I agree,I would apologise and say that as you are moving house you have pressing financial/family committments,and on reflection have decided that it isnt possible especially with so little notice.

mrcow

SuperSaverSue wrote: »

The thing is, it would be a 2 night stay as wedding is in the morning!

Cheers

Then don't go. Tell them that you can't make it. The week before Christmas is a very busy time for families. To expect you to go is ridiculous tbh.

belfastgirl23

If they only let you know a few days ago then it's perfectly fine to beg off IMHO. Let her know you didn't get back to her because you were checking out how much it would cost and whether you could get time off work etc, but it's not going to work out for you to attend. If she gets snarky I'd just say that it's very short notice for a trip abroad and that you haven't been able to put money aside for it. And offer to take them out for a slap up meal next time they're back in the UK!

I would check flights etc so I'd have details just in case!

Fen1

Ditto to all the above. Such short notice and especially at this time of year is just not on. You have already arranged Christmas, end of story.

Polite regrets, send a nice wedding card.

sooz

I would not mention money at all.

Just say sorry, it's terribly short notice, & you'd made prior engagements for those dates. Send a nice card, a gift if you feel like it, & don't feel guilty about not going in the slightest. They should have given all their guests more notice for a Xmas wedding, & certainly extra notice for those expected to attend from abroad.

I see you say she texted you about the flights etc, were you also texted about the wedding??

got-it-spend-it

I agree that they should have given more notice, particularly for a wedding that requires flights and a hotel.

As others have said I would send a card and a little gift. To be honest I'd expect her/ them to be a little put out because most people are very precious about their wedding- I know I was (got married 11 months ago) but now it's all over I can see it all in perspective so I'm certain it will blow over so do not worry about it!