helping new boyfriend

wendy_ann1983

i've been seeing my new fella for a few months now and he has asked to help him sort his finances, he wants an !!!! kicking to sort himself out, i've printed lots of bits out and lent him the MSE book but i was just wondering, if you had to give one piece of advice what would it be

oh i guess a bit of background might help, he owns a 2 bed maisonette and rents out his spare room, he has an old banger of a car to get to work in the winter and pop to the shops and a gorgeous bike for the better weather.

i will have no idea what the amount of debt is until 2mo though i have said he doesnt have to tell me if he doesnt want to but it would be easier if i knew so i could give better advice.

thanks in advance from the both of us

anniecave

knowing how much it costs to live (per month and in total per year) then comparing it with income
also how much is spent on different things

wendy_ann1983

have printed off the budget planner for him so hopin to get him to fill that in and it should give an idea where its all goin

chevalier

cut up the cards and use cash until the debts are repayed

wendy_ann1983

am takin crowbar to make sure i can get into his wallet and get them off him, lol

ciarasdreams

My one piece of advice to him would be the one given to me where I was told to think about exactly how I wanted my life to be in five years time and what I hoped that I had acomplished for myself by then and then I was told to look at my current situation honestly as if it was somebody elses and what advice I would give to them to help them achieve that lifestyle. I am sorry if I have explained this badly but it was one of the most eye opening and valuable experiences that I had in relation to my debt and somehow making your life third party makes it easier to do.

lilly81

I think, and this is only my opinion, you should give him the address of this website and let him take responsibility for his problems himself.
I have recently been dumped by a guy that I had helped out so maybe my advice is bias!

Miss_Piggy_2

I think I'm mostly with Lilly on this one. My advice would be to get him to take responsibility for his own problems. Its only when you realise its you, and only you, that can sort your debt problems that you finally get a grip on them.

Of course you can support him whilst he does this !

Good luck with helping him out!!

Miss P
xx

wendy_ann1983

I told him about the site but he just doesnt know where to start, im hoping that by sitting with him and making him face where the problems are he will then be able to cope on his own, i guess im just trying to give him a kick start

Miss_Piggy_2

wendy_ann1983 wrote: »

I told him about the site but he just doesnt know where to start, im hoping that by sitting with him and making him face where the problems are he will then be able to cope on his own, i guess im just trying to give him a kick start

Good for you. Everyone needs a kick-start in some way. He's lucky to have you to do it for him!
Good luck
Miss P
xx

tealady

Hi A good place to start is with an SOA. Then you can see where the money goes and where you can cut back. It is possible to have a champagne lifestyle on a beer money budget, it just involves effort and a few sacrifices.