christmas donation pressure

lunar

I really dont want to sound selfish here but as christmas gets closer im expected to give a small fortune to charity. As a family we give money to a charity through the year, then at christmas we always do something like the oxfam unwrapped gifts. this year we have sent a cow, and animal feed and shelter. we like to gvie something larger that will make a real difference than give odd bits of money to different charities.

there are just so many collections, raffels etc and if you ever dare to say no to someone you are tight, selfish, miserable etc.

Im not really posting for someone to give me a magic answer, i either pay everything or say no and put up with the comments. i just dont understand how peope think they should spend my money for me!

So do i sound selfish? maybe i am just being a christmas scrooge. sorry for the rant im just so frustrated with the christmas guilt trip, it feels like im a bad person for enjoying it sometimes.

skintandscared_2

My motto for 2009 is that charity begins at home...

I have had to suspend the charity donations I have made through my salary for the past 6 years. I'm entering a DMP and I just can't afford it any more. I had to stop my own pension payments too. Putting food on the table and a (warm) roof over our heads is my priority right now and I don't care who knows it.

kevin_M

skintandscared same here.

Im not giving nothing till i have paid off my debts.

Birdy12

Next time someone asks you to donate to a particular charity just say that 'it's not one of the charities I directly support, I have 2 or 3 charities that I donate to on a regular basis but xyz is not one of them'.

Not that you should care what other people think but it's a good enough reason not to have to feel compelled to hand over money every time.

moneymabel

Thats a great idea Birdy, luckily i'm involved with a local mini club and evryone knows that we raise money for the childrens hospice so dont bother asking me to donate to anything else. Way i look at it, if you are in debt then the money you are giving doesnt even belong to you,there is plenty of time to donate when you are debt free.
To OP i would definately try birdys idea-like they say you shouldnt be forced to make excuses but if you are thats a darn good one.
Just had another idea-find a charity that has some meaning to you, eg if you have lost someone to cancer, cancer research-or if you have a pet the local dogs trust and make a big deal about raising money for that particular charity, that way you dont have to give yourself but you can get revenge by bugging the others back for donations!!

cornishinfens

I usually have a subscription to Cancer and RSPB, but i cannot afford them - i have had to cancel. i also house unwanted snakes / reptiles but cannot take in any more - as i do not get funding and although they are cheep to feed heating and housing snakes etc costs a small fortune!!
Still have 7 snakes which are now all pets Once i'm debt and mortgage free i'll sort out a proper reptile house to see me into my retirement (due to being a civil servant i retire at 57)

So like above, Charity begins at home

strumpet

I feel the same. I give £10 a month to Cancer Research, but regularly get asked to support other charities also. I decline and explain that I support cancer research as I have suffered from cancer twice in the past and so I want to give something back.

Sometimes I feel like I'm being harrassed though - as if the charities know I already give, and hence I'm seen as a "soft touch".

Cancer Research themselves regularly try to get me to increase my donation but I am trying to pay off debts and can't really afford to pay the £120pa that I do pay. After the phone calls asking me for more money during which I have to refuse, I end up feeling like cr*p and really mean for not increasing my gift. They go on and on about how much people are suffering and it almost feels like it's all my fault! If I dodn't already know that people were suffering I wouldn't be giving the £120!

I shouldn't have to be made to feel like that!

fudgecat

I don`t know if this would work for others, as I am privileged by being in a school. We are on a limited income (husband is a caretaker) with one dependent child and one semi-dependent (moved out but you know how it is).
Between paying off debts and making ends meet, it is impossible to do much more than put the odd coin in the collecting box and make purchases in charity shops. Here was my solution. Teachers tend to get presents at Christmas and end of term and, without meaning to sound ungrateful, a right lot of useless tat it can be too. Even the nice stuff didn`t get used (chocs and smellies) because I don`t eat chocolate and we use basic brand everything and you get used to this utility. I let it be known last term that I would appreciate a charity donation instead of a present and cited the School`s current charity. The generous parents raise nearly £200.00 pounds - brilliant.
This year we auctioned teacher promises for charity and I offered to write a kid`s story with the kid as the hero of it. Loads of them bid and it raised a huge sum again. I just had to get creative and overcome the writer`s block brought about by obligation! Luckily inspiration struck on Halloween (scary story).

halight

Hi dont feel bad yu can only give what you can afford.

You have been great to have given so much but at the moment you need to provide for yourself. and your family.
Dont feel bad look after your own family and yourself and then give what you can even if it very little it will still help.

All the best and good luck

paybacktime2008

I used to give a small monthly donation to the NSPCC. They used to ring and write asking for me to up my payment. I told them if they contacted me again I would cancel what i gave them, They did and i have. No one has the right to 'hassle' you to give to charity. It should be a free choice with no explanantion on your part needed.

Gemmzie

Two things really annoy me about some charities...firstly, the ones who when you do donate, end up phoning and nagging/guilt tripping into giving more. I am donating the amount I choose to, don't you dare make me feel awful for that.
Secondly, animal charities which have too much money (there's loads!) and don't share it around when other less glossy charities struggle on because people would rather give to the cute little donkeys than think about children being abused in their own country.
Sorry, rant over

Don't feel pressured, we can't change the world and money isn't everything. Sometimes giving time can be more rewarding for you AND the charity.