Relationship ending - mortgage advice

sunnygal84

Just hoping someone can give me a bit of advice. I am in a horrible situation at the moment and cant see any way out of it. I want my BF out of the house because he is physically and mentally abusive to me but the thing is it is a joint mortgage and I know that I cannot cope alone.

We took out the mortgage for 85000 in June 2007. It is at a fixed rate at 6.75% until September 2009 and we pay £540.00 per month. The thing is all the direct debits come out of my account each month and I just get the money from my BF (we split everything down the middle) so if he does leave he said he is just gonna wash his hands of it and I will be left with every single bill:mad: Getting him to leave will not be a problem but I just cant cope without his help with the bills etc. I don’t think I will be able to get a mortgage alone. I have never had any debts/credit cards/loans but still don’t think I stand a chance.

I don’t think I could take in a lodger because I cant afford to decorate the room/house myself (we have only been there a year) so im stuck and its not in the best area so I don’t think anybody would want to move in anyway but it is my home and I love it and cant face losing it; it was me who found the house, sorted mortgage/sols etc etc im heartbroken. I know that if i end up losing it i will not be able to afford another place/will have a bad credit score by then and my family have no room for me.

The mortgage co we are will are GMAC (because my BF had been in debt with credit cards before). Our financial advisor last yr said that we would be able to get a better mortgage after the fixed rate was over and we had proof of paying the mortgage on time etc but surely with things the way they are – there would be no deals available to me on my own anyway?

any ideas anyone :eek: xx

neas

sell the house.

baby_fuzz

I wouldn't touch the buy and rent back to you companies with a bargepole - I have no experience of them, but I would anticipate that companies such as these would try to exploit the fact that youa re in a tough position.
Was the mortgage taken out in BOTH names? If so, he should be just as liable to pay back the loan. Whilst I know it would be hard to give up the house, have you considered selling up and splitting everything? Get it valued and see what comes back - probably not worth selling if in negative equity, otherwise you'd ahve to shore up the difference with any savings you have.

sunnygal84

thanks for your replies

baby_fuzz the mortgage has been taken out in both names so i know he is eligble to pay but i just want him out of my life he is a nasty piece of work.
We have no savings together and i dont have any money left by the end of the month and that is living basically.

We have discussed selling but our house was stood for 18 months with only us looking at it when we bought it so i dont think it would sell. i dont really understand the costs involved in selling a house as so far i have only bought.

koexelek

sunnygal84 wrote: »

thanks for your replies

baby_fuzz the mortgage has been taken out in both names so i know he is eligble to pay but i just want him out of my life he is a nasty piece of work.
We have no savings together and i dont have any money left by the end of the month and that is living basically.

We have discussed selling but our house was stood for 18 months with only us looking at it when we bought it so i dont think it would sell. i dont really understand the costs involved in selling a house as so far i have only bought.

Depending on where you live ( as estate agents usually close ranks in a town to drive up their sales percentage), you are probably looking at an estate agent selling fee of between 1 and 2% of the selling price ( plus VAT) and solicitor costs to sell of about £500.

Abbaliz

Hi there

I sympathise with your situation.

It sounds as though the most important thing to you is to get your boyfriend to move out of the house and if he is indeed mentally and physically abusive to you - JUST GET HIM OUT OR LEAVE YOURSELF IMMEDIATLEY !!!! Your safely, not the house, is the only thing at the moment you should be considering.

You can buy another house in the future but if this guy hits you enough or gets in your mind enough, you may not get the chance too.

please, get your priorities right. If you have tried to reason with him over the house and got nowhere, you need to leave for your own safety.

You are JOINTLY responsible for the house if it is a joint mortgage so you can sort out who owes what to whom through a solicitor if necessary but at this stage, if you are living with somone who is treating you like that there is only one thing you should be thinking about and that is your safety and your sanity.

Do not be scared by threats of him washing his hands of the bills, he is legally required to share whatever you owe on the house.

Personally, i would leave him and worry about the house later. Go to a womens shelter or a friend or family member but do not stay there any longer !!!

good luck

Abbaliz

Also - if he is physcially abusing you then you are the victim of a crime.

You really need to just go. It may seem a terrible time and you may be really upset about loosing your house and owing lots of money but really that pales into insignificance if you are living with someone who is abusing you.

Think about contacting a womens refuge/the police/Citizens Advice Bureau. I am sure there is help and advice available to someone in your situation.

sunnygal84

thanks abbaliz
i think you are right - my safety needs to come first. We have talked about this just now and he is moving out tonight before things escalate and he gets himself into anymore trouble. He is still going to pay towards the mortgage n is going to sort out a direct debit from his account to mine until the house is sold or if i can get a lodger ASAP. If i could manage to find a lodger - i could afford the mortgage and the other money would just go towards bills leaving me with a little spare money for myself. I am aware that selling might be the only solid option tho n will do this if neccessary.

thanks for your advice again X

silvercar

Sounds a good plan. Good luck with it. I would be tempted to change the locks once he has left.

opinions4u

sunnygal84 wrote: »

thanks abbaliz
i think you are right - my safety needs to come first. We have talked about this just now and he is moving out tonight before things escalate and he gets himself into anymore trouble. He is still going to pay towards the mortgage n is going to sort out a direct debit from his account to mine until the house is sold or if i can get a lodger ASAP. If i could manage to find a lodger - i could afford the mortgage and the other money would just go towards bills leaving me with a little spare money for myself. I am aware that selling might be the only solid option tho n will do this if neccessary.

thanks for your advice again X

If you get a lodger, your ex will still be named on the mortgage.

This may not be a long term solution and eventually I think you will have to sell.

Good luck with everything.

RAS

Hi

this is a better option but he could stop paying any time he feels like it.

In the short-term, make sure he helps towards all the bills up to his departure date. Then change them into your name.

Get the single person's council tax rebate sorted out.

Talk to a solicitor as whilst he is named on the mortgage and the deeds, he is entitled to return to the house.