No adult pressies this year...

tanith

Two of my daughters and I were discussing what on earth to buy everyone for Christmas this year and came to conclusion that it would be sensible all round to just buy for the children . Its honestly a weight off all our minds as I spend November and December trying to find thoughtful presents for about 8 or 9 adults and its hard enough buying for all the children. Now for the problem..

Last Christmas my son sort of opted out of Christmas, he bought no pressies and didn't even come for dinner and although we all bought for him as usual he could hardly be bothered to say thankyou..But thats fine I just wasn't going to buy him anything this year... now he has a just introduced his girlfriend to the family they have been together since the beginning of the year, she isn't English but we all like her immensly she is such a pleasant and thoughtful girl... I just wonder if she will think we are an ODD family not buying presents for each other I will feel so bad not buying her a small christmas present... and then if I buy her one how can I not buy for my own son and daughters.. its giving me a headache just thinking about it..

Any suggestions?

mrcow

Buy her something small. I'd probably get something small for the children too, maybe limit it to £5 or something. I know it's not what you agreed, but it's a compromise.

I'd personally never not buy something for my kids, you never know when you're going to be celebrating your last Christmas together.

It's only October, you have loads of time to shop around and get something nice for your £5. Perhaps even make something nice (Christmas biscuits/cake) or get a nice book from the Book People for £5. It's the thought that counts, and no present = no thought.

Mojisola

tanith wrote: »

Last Christmas my son sort of opted out of Christmas, he bought no pressies and didn't even come for dinner and although we all bought for him as usual he could hardly be bothered to say thankyou..But thats fine I just wasn't going to buy him anything this year... now he has a just introduced his girlfriend to the family they have been together since the beginning of the year, she isn't English but we all like her immensly she is such a pleasant and thoughtful girl... I just wonder if she will think we are an ODD family not buying presents for each other I will feel so bad not buying her a small christmas present... and then if I buy her one how can I not buy for my own son and daughters.. its giving me a headache just thinking about it..

Just make sure that she knows that the adults aren't exchanging presents this year - it would be awful if she turned up with presents for you!

belfastgirl23

I am sooo envious, I would LOVE it if we could come to this arrangement...or even to do a secret santa and spend a larger amount of money on one person!

I agree with Mojisola - she will probably be relieved to have the whole thing nice and clear. If she isn't English you don't even know what her cultural expectations would be in any case...

Errata

Why don't you all buy each other some sweeties ? Cheap and cheerful - a box of After Eights only costs a quid - and it's lovely having something to unwrap that has a lovely card attached saying "Merry Christmas, with much love from....."

tanith

Thanks everyone some super ideas I particularly like the Secret Santa Idea and will talk to them about that... and the just buying sweets... but we were all so relieved to come to an arrangement I really don't want to go back on it.. still food for thought thankyou

EDIT: its not even really the cost of buying its just so hard to know what to get everyone...

begbie_2

Hello, I have xmas pressies to buy for relatives but this year me and my husband have decided we cannot afford to buy loads (as we usually do). Just gonna get the in laws something for £10 each and the BIL and girlf im gonna make some skittles vodka that ive seen on this site and SIL and boyf are not getting anything as they are having a baby at the end of the month - does anyone think this is harsh that we are not 'buying' for them? but me and husband are the only ones who have a mortgage etc - BIL gets bills paid by his mother (even tho he has his own flat ) and dearest SIL lives at home with parents rent free = no bills ... am i a cow??

Lillibet_2

I think any and all of these arrangements are fine BUT you have to ensure that everyone knows well in advance, nothing worse than being told aafter having done your Xmas shopping early! And also, I think it has to be handled with some tact for those who don't have chidlren, as they are going to end up buying for other peoples kids but potentially could feel a bit hard done by as they don't have any of thier own.

HTH;)

Skint_Catt

I would let her know that there is no presents for the adults this year - maybe everyone can bring something for dinner - nibbles, a bottle, starters, mains and desserts instead if you're all going to be together?

For sons and daughters I think I would bake cakes or cookies for them to take home if nothing else.

suki1964

Me and hubby have the 10 quid each rule - thats all we spend on each other (much to the detriment of his son) We also dont buy our siblings nor any children over 18. We buy for our parents and our grandchildren and the young nieces and nephews.

He is still giving his two children money pressies. One is as uni so he still needs the support and you cant give one without the other

Katyag

We buy for my parents, aunt and brother and DH's brother and sister. But for most people when they have kids the kids then get and we stop the adults gifts, that goes both ways so works out fair.

DH's ex step father and wife who always buy for our kids so we get them something from the kids are now having a baby so we can start getting the baby stuff instead of them which makes it so much easier!