Divorce Financial Advice Please

maxi_2

My friend earns £11k a month net. One son at University (20) he pays all accommodation costs. One daughter (18) at private school - fees £9k per term. He pays his wife £1k per month maintenance (she works - salary £35k per year and very small mortgage) He also pays her car finance and insurance. He pays for his daughter's mobile phone and son's mobile phone and, virtually every weekend they both "need" something!! He struggles every month to pay for himself!! Is all this right?

loftus

He pays out a lot but is also a very high earner. Is what he pays part of a court order or is it a voluntary agreement?
Even with all the things he is paying it would appear that he still has around £80k left for himself and he still struggles? Presumably the school fees will stop soon and he will be paying accomodation costs, which will be substantially less, and in 3 years or so he won't be paying that.

maxi_2

He has two places of work and has to maintain two accommodatons of his own. His daughter will be starting uni next year so will have those costs added. Mortgages amount to £2,600 per month - he gave his wife the vast majority of the collateral in the joint house. No court order. Voluntary. He is a good, kind man but is being taken for a ride - last weekend dinner suit for boy cost over £500. Thanks for replying. I do hear what you are saying.

Rachel85

It does seem like a lot of money, however your friend has opted to pay for these things. I understand you are concerned for him, but he has chosen to send his children to private school and buy expensive items for them. If he can't afford it, suggest he says no or provide them with an allowance.

ClareEmily

I actually misread your post and thought he earns 11k a year.

11k a month bloody hell, that is a lot, but it does look like the more you earn the more you spend out as well.

Lucky his children are now 18 and 20, can't they get part time jobs to pay towards their uni fees?

Think your friend's children need a reality check they sound like they have had an extremely privileged upbringing and don't realise the value of money.

silvercar

University accommodation is not going to cost anything like the 9k per term he currently pays on school fees.

floss2

silvercar wrote: »

University accommodation is not going to cost anything like the 9k per term he currently pays on school fees.

Depends where she goes & where she lives - DS2 pays £500 a month to share a grotty flat in London, without bills. Somehow I don't think she'd be happy in something like that :rolleyes:

BTW, did he agree to continue to support his children through university, or is that expected by his ex, as most child maintenance stops when the child goes to Uni? And why is he paying her maintenance when she earns over £2k net a month? I can only guess that there is anelement of guilt in his voluntary financial arranegments.

cazziebo

Actually, I don't think that what he pays out is at all unreasonable.

After all, if he was still at home he would have these costs and more. He is still the children's father, always will be. I take it he was part of the decision to have his children privately educated? I think many parents now will pay their kids accommodation costs while at Uni - how does he cover his living expenses? For example, my ex pays for my daughter's accommodation, I pay her an allowance each month for food etc (which she spends on beer but that's another story!). And both my dds try it on with their dad to spend more money on them because he lets them!

I fail to understand that when a father gets in tow with another woman, it's his children who should drop their standard of living. Parental liability doesn't end. (have to exempt my ex from this statement - he's always been very fair with me and generous with the girls) In fact, most of the complaints I hear on this topic come from women involved with fathers, not the fathers themselves.

zzzLazyDaisy

I have to say this is a voluntary arrangement between OP's friend and his ex-wife regarding providing for their children.

I really cannot see why OP should feel s/he needs to express an opinion on it.

Savvy_Sue

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LizzieS_2

11K a MONTH!!!

Well there's 1K to ex as 'spousal' maintenance? The differences between incomes suggest he would be liable for spousal maintenance if it went via court especially when it lloks like marriage/pre marriage cohabitation is a good 20 years.

3K for daughters school fees.

2.6K on mortages.

That leaves £4400 per month for everything else (not sure if son's accomodation is to come off this).

Under the csa, he would have not have to pay for son as he is at univeristy, however he would pay 15% for his daughter (earns less than the csa maximum of £3K per week) meaning £1650pm. The csa is less than the current amount, but the ex can apply to court for a top-up due to the education being private.

No idea whethter what he pays to ex is in line with what a court would rule on their different incomes/duration of relationship.