Can someone help me please?

debtomnlilli

Oh boy where to start! Im in a mess.I'll try cut it to size here goes....
Had a baby last christmas,thought my family was complete,a boy of 6 then a little girl, but 4 weeks later I found out my partner had been having an affair for 3 years! I was devastated,Im now trying to cope almost a year on. We have a council house that Ive tried to make the best of but im so low and in a financial mess I just feel like running away.I have debts that add to £17,000. They were things that my ex and I had bought over the years like carpets,car,housey things etc but that are in my name. Im with a consolidation company but they charge me to use them. Im not entitled to income support because my ex gives me £230 per month maintenance and its classed as an income apparently.The only other money I have coming in is my tax credits of £300(which goes down to £140 in Jan because my daughter will be 1) and my family allowance of £113. This added doesnt cover my direct debits and the debt consolidation company never mind raising my children and food.Ive even been paying my rent and council tax untill last week when I put in an application in to see if I can get help,some say I should have asked sooner,others tell me if im not able to claim I.S then they dont know about help with other things,now im wondering should I try and pay it untill I hear from them. I feel so upset,im trying to cope emotionally still from what happened almost a year ago when my world was turned upside down but the financial strain will finish me off I think.My mum made me ask for advice.I just pray someone can help me.Thanks for listening.

Brokeass

Hi

Sorry you are having such a bad time at present. You really need to have a talk with the citizen advice bureau and have a look at direct gov website. I do hope that your financial situation improves. Has your previous house been sold? are you entitled to anything else, is the maintainance for you alone or your children? Make sure you ask lots of questions to improve your situation.

Best of luck.

$17mma

Please list all of your outgoings so that we can take a look and hopefully offer some advice.

Sorry to hear about the strain and stress. But listen...it will get easier believe me I know. I am glad you have come to MSE there are loads of people here who can offer you support and advice.

Just hold on in there the cavalry is on it's way.

bonnie_2

all i can suggest is that in your situation i would go bankrupt.
it is not fair that your husband has left you and kids in this mess.

$17mma

Dont consider bankruptcy until you have seen and heard all other possible solutions.

An administration order can be considered ( check with local court this will keep creditors off your back as long as you pay amount per month) and will cut out the Debt Management thingy that charges. BUT an admin order will mess up your credit chances but will give you a chance to get yourself on your feet.

bonnie_2

ps. forgot to add you will almost certainly get full housing benifit on your income, have you told tax credits of your change in income as i am sure you are entitled to £43 per child per week. someone will tell me if i am wrong. also you should be getting free school dinners and perscriptions as it is done on income now but i dont know how to do links.if i were you i would stop paying your debts and concentrate on food and household bills as no court is going to make you pay what your paying now. if you dont want to go bankrupt.

moongarden

Hi debtomnlilli,
i've only just discovered MSE and i am in a similar position to you, having just had what they call here a "lightbulb moment" - the moment where you realise that this isn't just going to go away.
I just wanted to say that you are not alone in this situation. I've only just started on the path but my first steps have been:
get the budget from this website and start putting figures in it
get all my bills and paperwork and sort it out into a file (was in a big cardboard box all mixed up)
i've also contacted all my creditors and told them i only want to deal with them by post - a major stress relief for me.
best wishes and take care

p.s. forgot to add that once you have a list of incomes and outgoings you can post them on here and people might be able to give you plenty of ideas to look into

elisebutt65

Hi there
Not much help on the debt front I'm afraid as haven't been ther(so far - x-ed fingers) But I have 2 boys and am a full time mature student - no partner.

I can't get IS as I'm a student but I do get £37/week housing benefit towards the rent - in a council house so I pay £140/month and no council tax.
I get £15/week for 1 son and £40/week for the other one from their dads.

Child benefit is £113 every 4 weeks but my Child tax Credit is £117 per week - is your £300 per month, cos that's awfully low - I'd get them to re-assess.

Go and claim IS anyway cos £230 is an awfully low amount to support yourself - They may give youa fiver a week - actually ignore that - they'll probably make you go to CSA if you do that and then keep his 230 and give you a tenner of it!

If you do claim HB abd CTB from housing then take all your bank details and statements for at least the last 2 months as they'll ask for all this and it's a pain to have to keep going back if you forget something.

debtomnlilli

Thanks everyone,I didnt expect all this response.Im defo going to ring tax credits in the morning to check they have it right for me cos £117 per week would make a huge difference to me.Although is that something to do with you being a student?? I did discuss with the lone parent advisor about Income support and maintenance and I COULD get I.S if I got him to stop the maintenance,but its the same amount and then they'll just take the money from him instead.And to answer your question Brokeass the maintenance is for the children and we dont have a house to sell....unfortunately. I had thought about bankruptcy though for my debts...Is it not a good thing!! I just dont know enough about it and im scared to be honest.I was asked to list my ougoings? Do I do that on this page or somewhere else on this website? Thanks again everyone.x

paulmarks83

Hi debtomnlilli,
Im as new a money saver as yourself, and unfortunatley I have no advise to offer as im still learning myself. All i can say is read this site, read the book and dont give up. Its going to get better and will be ok. There are so many people on this site who will look out for and help you.

Use the budget calculator on this site and watch every single penny.

With all the best wishes in the world,
Paulmarks83 :xmassign: :xmastree:

elisebutt65

I've been getting the £117(ish - gone up a tad) for the last 3 years so, no, don't think it's as I'm a student.

The advantage of your ex stopping the maintenance and you getting IS instead, is of course - you will get all your rent paid as you're in a council house and HB will cover the lot and also the Council tax will be paid. Then you'll get approx £40(I think) a week IS, & 117 CTC & Chb 28 = £185 per week or about 800 per calender month. Also you will be allowed £10 week/per child maintenance via the csa. It all adds up!!!

You need to write to your creditors explaining everything and try to get them to stop the interest accumualting by CAB should help with that - The other debt stuff, more experienced bods should be along soon.

Concentrate on getting you incomings sorted out and keeping the heating on, food on the table and kids clothed, before sorting out any major debts - Living is more important and they don't have debtors prison anymore - the house belongs to the council so as long as the HB is sorted, you'll have a roof over your head. Pay the rent until this is sorted though - you will get a rebate if they backdate it! I got a nice one of over £100 last year.