Here we go....

Neths

Hi

I guess I'm the same as most on here in that taking this big step in posting is a start, but it's been a very big step in finding the courage.....

I just need to write, and apologies if it goes on too much, but there is so much on my mind - and I'll try not to let it get too depressing. I am English but have been working in Canada for the past 8 months, so I'm not sure if it's ok being on an English board, and if I can gain help from over there. I am not here permantly and all my debts are UK based, which really all stemmed from a long term business going under 18 months ago. Now, I've reached crisis point and my partner is not quite aware of the extent of things, and as she can be a bit volatile over these sort of issues, I really have nowhere to turn.

I'll do a SOA after this, but a quick snapshot is that I owe 15k on a credit card, 12k on a loan, 2k on another loan and am at my OD limit of 2k. We have a house over there which we rent out, although the mortgage is going up next month - we owe 138000. I am finding it difficult to send the money over for my 2 sons, and the guilt in this is pushing me closer to an edge I'm not sure of.

I am waiting for the ex to sign over 40k on a cancelled Med property, which will be the happiest day of my life - when it eventually comes. But, until then, it's so difficult.

I am converting the below to pounds to make it a bit easier, although only using an educated guess.

Outgoings

Rent, home services, and food 500
Fuel 50
Car Ins and tax 70
Car loan to employer 250
Credit card (uk) 320
Loan (uk) 301
Loan (uk) 190
Mortgage (est top up) 100
Insurances (uk) 100
Pension (uk) 50
Other 100

Total 2041

Incomings

Earnings 1700

My employer is ok with me not paying the loan each month, but the above doesn't include money for my ex or sons. I am about to miss the cc payment and also the large loan at the end of the month, but these are the first I have missed. I don't know which way to turn and have pleaded with my ex to sign the form for the money so that I can pay things off. But what can I do in the meantime? I am so worried, and daren't write to the lenders.

Please help, this is with me every waking hour, and some sleeping ones....

lucielle

Shameless bump. Hope some of the clever peeps give you some advice.
L

Horace

Can you not write to your creditors and explain that you are in some difficulty and offer them token payments? I am sure there are others on the forum who are more experienced that me in these matters.

Once again you need to stress to your ex that she needs to sign the form - if she doesnt then it will eventually have an impact on the kids because you will be unable to support them. Are your sons of an age to understand that what you send them will be less (I am not saying stop sending them money at all just send them less).

I think that you do need to take the bull by the horns so to speak and tell your partner because she is in this as much as you are especially on the Canadian side of things and if she went out to work, she could also contribute.

Also can you not sell the house that is currently being rented in the UK?

Just a thought - welcome to MSE by the way.

Horace

Another shameless bump

dancingfairy

o.k have you shopped around for the best deal for all your costs eg food, insurance, bills etc? I don't know anything about finances in Canada but can you not shop around and try and buy cheaper food and cheaper bills etc?
Is there anywhere like the CAB you can go to in Canada? any free places to give advice? You could also ring the national debtline/cccs in this country and see if they can help as well - they may as your debts are english.
Is there any way for you to earn a bit extra- any overtime, a second job or anything?
Anything you can sell at all - do Canadians have the equivalent of ebay or of car boot sales?

Hope these sugesstions help you somewhat.
df x

Neths

Thanks for all your answers and the bumps.

My partner here is working, so my soa is my side of things - my debts are my debts, that's how I do things......

The 500 pound (each) pm includes rent, food, imternet, tv, furniture repayments, gas, electric and water - so not too bad.

Are the credit cards people (mbna) approachable? This may sound stupid, but I am scared! I could offer token payments until I'm sorted, if that was acceptable. I guess the same with the bigger loan. I daren't with the mortgage as that is joint.

I will again attempt to make the ex see sense, but it's a wall. Its all part of the big "D" and she is getting so much the better deal, but she is acting on her solicitors advice. I am going to get one as well (more cost......) and will see what happens.

Thank you for all your help and advice - it means so much.

Deep_In_Debt

Hi
I would suggest not to contact credit card people by phone - they will only bully you into paying more than you can afford.

I would write to them and offer them token payments (£1.00, £5.00 - whatever you can afford) until you get yourself back on your feet again. At least this shows your willingness to pay and may give you a bit of breathing space. National Debtline has a good letter that you can use for this.

Good luck.

tallyhoh

Totally agree with Deep In Debt, don't phone these people. Although trust me they will beg you to phone instead of writing.

Only offer what you can DEFINITELY afford each month.

savingholmes

I think you do need to get some legal and professional financial advice - it may also be worth seeing if you can do a dmp from Canada - I don't know if it is possible or not. If you are planning to stay in Canada - will any debt action taken by the companies you owe money to have any effect in other words do you know what the worst they can do is?

If I was you I would discuss this with your new partner and see if you can come up with a plan together to try and address this...

GeorgeUK

Canada is one of the two countries that the UK ahs reciprocal agreements with for debts. This means that if a debt is enforced in a UK court, it can also be enforced using the Candian legal syatem.

As you are willing to make payments however, it would be in their best interest (cheaper for them) to come to an arrangement with you. I agree that all communication should be in writing, but as you already have a house in the UK, not sure how that would affect any mortgage you may get if your credit rating drops. Might be worth contacting nationaldebtline of one of the UK charities to ask about that.

Is it possible to reclaim bank charges or credit card charges that you had from the UK accounts?

Might be worth putting up 2 SOA's - one for UK, one for Canada. You may not be able to get quite the same offers, but alot of the advice offerred may still be relevent.

https://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Neths

Thank you again for your replies.

I intend to write to the CC and loan companies, and I will be able to offer them reduced payments until I get the money through. I intend, again, to write to the soon to be ex and explain the situation.

The worst thing about this is that I am within touching distance, but it's so frustrating. I guess the companies will be ok if I give them something, and explain it is only short term? I guess I need to cancel the DD's and just use manual online payments?

I haven't got any debts over here, but don't earn enough to cover everything over there. I will do 2 soas on Monday when I have more time, or maybe this evening.

Thank you once again, and my next post should be more detailed.