Trip to Oz???

TeetersOnHeels

Not sure if I've posted in the right place, but thought I might get views from both sides of the coin, so here goes.
Briefly....My son's Dad emigrated to Oz 4yrs ago. Contact has been by very infrequent email, no maintainence has been paid, there's been no Birthday/Xmas cards for 2yrs, and now, out of the blue my ex has asked if my son wants to pay him a visit.....Another worry is that I have never had an address or phone number for my ex either.
My son is tentatively mentioning the possibility, but I have a few concerns. Just wondered what other peoples thoughts were?
Do I let him go?
Do I say he can go, but only with me and paid for by dad (He currently earns 3 times my salary - approx £65,000pa)?

Voyager2002

How old is your son?

TeetersOnHeels

He was 14 last month

kelloggs36

If you can get details of everything - address he will be staying at and confirmation of that address then maybe consider it. Also offer if he pays for the trip in full as you have had to support him by yourself for all this time with no help!!

TeetersOnHeels

To be honest kelloggs thats what I was thinking. Would not want my son going 1/2 way round the world when I don't even have a contact address or phone no.! Would be prepared to go with him and stay in a local hotel - paid for by dad, but wondered if this was reasonable? Would want him to spend time with his dad, but cannot afford to pay for either of us to make the trip. The only other option would be be for dad to spend time in the UK (as far as I know he's not been back in 4yrs) - he does have other family in the UK

kelloggs36

I agree - if he pays for you both then great! If not then your alternative suggestion seems sound to me. This is so different to letting him go and visit within the UK - being cautious is entirely natural. He doesn't really know his dad and to be alone with him so far away from home would actually be quite daunting - not just for him, but you too!!!!

TeetersOnHeels

It may all come to nothing to be honest. The last time he mentioned visiting Oz my son was only 10 & quite resentful about the fact that his dad had gone away. Now, aged 14, he's more confident & curious and I think eventually he will want to make that trip....And I suppose a tiny piece of me worries that if he does go he may not want to come back! I know that's a bit of a leap, and probably totally unfounded, but having read other posts about kids deciding to live with the other parent it's not completely unrealistic.

LizzieS_2

Considering the lack of effort by your ex over the last 2 years (at least), I would be looking for your ex to put his backside here to see his son first!