Girlfriend Cheated On Me - Need A Rant!

rjtyrell

Hi all,

Basically I have been going out with my G/F for 5 years. She is 29 and I am 26. She has never been a very open person in terms of things on her mind and when she has problems. I openly admit that I don't show my emotions enough.

She has worked in the city since I have known her and I have always had my doubts as to weather she cheated on me, i am openly quite insecure. I have heard the stories about work colleages and the cheating etc.

Any how Sunday afternoon I found out she had cheated on me the previous weekend. She had met this bloke 3/4 times for lunch at work and he pilled her with compliments and made her filled wanted, telling her she was beautiful etc. They met over the weekend whilst she was at a friends in Southend they met and went to see the West Ham game and then one thing led to another.

We have talked about it and it has killed me that our 5 years together was thrown away in 24 hours. Part of me wants to try and work it out, she says she does and I can see I haven't payed her enough attention as the relationship has gone on.

At the minute I have told her I want to try and we need to be open to each other and see needs to answer all my questions I have. I have told her I want her to get another job outside of London (currently she gets up at 5am and back at 7pm) she has said she will.

I don't know what else I can do, I can see what my faults are now and I will openly admit I cried for the first time in years when we talked. She wants to work it out and says she relaised what I meant to her after what she done.

I am not to sure what to do, would councelling be a good idea, as I want to try I know it is still a fresh wound and it will take time, but the times when I am alone and have time to think it eats my soul.

Sorry needed a rant and any help would be great.

pepe2008

Hi rjt,

Well, letting it outs a good thing. Not being a professional, but having been through relationship Counselling a couple of times, as a couple and singly, the benefits can be enourmous. Take some time out for yourself, dont just let this situation take over your entire life.......and TALK to eachother...

Pepe.

Without being too flippant.......blimey, West Ham! No wonder you feel bad!!!

Horace

Hi

I guess it depends on whether or not you can see a future with this girl or not? Her infidelity cannot be blamed entirely on you because you haven't paid her as much attention as she would like - she should have made her feelings clear. Going out for lunch with a work colleague is one thing but jumping into bed with him is another thing entirely. She chose to stray.

If I were you, I would move on and get a different circle of friends because although she may promise to get another job away from London, she will end up resenting you and will stray again. You can't change someone just because you want them to change.

Remember you will also have friends on here.

Good luck
Horace

rjtyrell

She has said she will do anything she can to make us work and if that means getting another job so we spend time together then she would.

After 5 years I want to try and work it out and maybe being stupid but it might make us stronger now we know our weakness and that we don't talked enough.

On another note she has no real reason to try and make it work if she didn't want to, the house is hers and like she said she could have ended it on Sunday when it all came to a head. Its not like she is hanging on for money or anything.

Think only time will tell and hopefully heal, if it ever can