I'm realy worried

bellrooster

Good morning

I've been getting Martins newsletter for a while now but I've never been into this forum, but I feel it's time I asked for help/advice.

I'm waking up at night worried sick about my financial situtation and I honestly just don't know what to do.

A bit of background is that I'm a full time mum with a 2 year old daughter and my partner is a self employed Joiner. He started up his own joinery buisness when we first moved in together 3 1/2 years ago and to be honest the income from it has been very hit and miss, and we have always struggled to meet our bills from month to month and right now it feels like we're sinking deeper and deeper into debt and we simply do not earn enough to claw our way back.

We are rent a property privately for £550 a month, (it was due on the 1st of thie month and we've not mananged to pay yet, so it will be late for the 3rd month running.)

We haven only paid 3 months council tax this year, aswell as £750 to a debt collector for the arreas we owed on last years council tax. (It got to the point where baliffs came and my mum paid the bill at the 11th hour, and we still have to pay her back for this)

We owe £500 + to Eon for our gas and electric and they have sent a letter saying that they will forcible enter our house to connect a pre payment meter which again is something I do not know what to do about this.

We don't go out, or spend money on anything but food and bills - I buy the value brands of everything and to be honest we have nothing of a 'life' it's just constant worry about bills.

I owe £550 to capital one and my partner owes £500 to vanquis.

I also owe 400 for my littlewoods catologue and I should be paying them £211 this month - but I just don't have it.

I also owe £50 to next, and my partner owes £130 to sudio catologue (the stupid thing is that he bought some plates from studio for £25 last year and he's paid them over £50 so for but it gets sucked up in late payment charges.

The man that my partner is currently fitting a bathroom for has not paid us for 2 weeks, and he's now gone on holiday and I asked my partner how much he was owed and my partner doesn't know. I suggested it should be over a £1000 by now and apparently it's no where near that much - which is unbelievable to me as we've bought the materials and 2 weeks labour for a joiner with 20 yrs experience should not come that cheap.

The buisness is not being run well, I can see that but I have no idea how to run a buisness, it's my partners trade but it just doesn't seem to be going well.

I have no control over the finances as the bank accounts are all in my partnerrs name and I just ask for housekeeping when I need to by food etc. I use the money I get from tax credits to try and keep ontop of the bills but it barely touches them.

I just feel totaly lost in all this, I'm 27 years old and until I fell pregnant with my daugher and moved in with my partner I've lived with my mum and so was unaware of the cost of running a house, and coping with bills and proritising etc. I think my parter has buried his head in the sand a bit and is not prepared to talk about it.

I'm half thinking of moving back into my mums house with me little one just for a bit of security but it would be awful to just abandon my partner in this situation.

sorry for the ramble, I just feel so run down by all this and I don't know what to do.

piptom&AndyPandy

Hi
I feel for you, don't worry about rambling we've all done it, might be worthwhile posting an SOA so peeps (more experienced than me) can give better guidance. Have you considered your partner going back to work for a company whereby his earnings will be stable and you'd be able to budget better, my hubby is a Mechanic and when he does private work he also asks for parts money upfront, is this something e.g. a deposit system that perhaps would help, seems amazing he's working two weeks with no pay.
Have you thought of a debt management plan, it may stop the charges and you'd payback what you can afford - (sounding like an IVA advert) CCCS and Payplan (i'm with the latter) are really helpful.

Hope this helps
Pip
x

bellrooster

Thanks for you reply Pip,

I understand what you're saying about my parter going to work for an employer, I've suggested it to him a number of times - it would help even if it was only until my daughter goes to school and then I can work school hours for guarenteed income each month - but he's realy strongly against doing it. I can't force him to give up being self employed for a while (I wish I could) so I have to support him in whatever chooses to do.

I've also suggested that he asks for cash advances, and sometimes he does. In all honesty I find it very frustrating the way he runs his buisness but I cannot keep butting heads with him on the way he runs what is effectivly HIS buisness. I think thats why I feel so trapped as I feel so powerless.

I've looked briefly at payplan webiste and it looks like that might be a really good idea.

tyllwyd

I think you need to try to talk to your partner and look at the problem together. If you are aren't working, then maybe the logical thing is for you to do the admin for his business, and take that pressure off him. Could you convince him that it would be better for the two of you to talk about the business/money. It sounds as if he knows things aren't going well, but doesn't want to face up to it, or doesn't want to burden you - or maybe things are worse than he has told you, and he is worried about you finding out? Whatever it is, you are in this together and he needs to let you support him.

You need to do a proper budget, so that you can look at that in comparison to the money your partner is bringing in - if he isn't earning enough, you need to do something sooner rather than later, whether it is talking to one of the debt advice charities or for him to look for an employed job, because ifyou leave it longer things will only get worse.

piptom&AndyPandy

I know it's frustrating if I have to sometimes make things look like my husbands idea in order to get him to do it lol. However do you think if he knew you were considering leaving it would shake him a bit more to go perm, also could do both part time (so got staple income) and part time his own? You doing the admin is a great idea, there are some jobs like surveys, aqa that you could do from home, have you thought about becoming a childminder - apparently therre's a shortage something you could do around your daughter? Equally an evening job? There is care work you could do on your own terms so early morning/evening when partner gets in - this would get you a bit of an extra income. I'm looking into taking 2nd job in care work (didn't need experience as will train) and only doing every couple of saturday mornings?? Some cleaning firms also work round you. Just some ideas.

Pip
x

jenny2115

Hi There,

Don't worry about rambling, if you can't ramble here where can you...

I agree with the others you need to speak to your partner about the situation, it will only get worse if things don't change and this needs to be done together. Speak to cccs or payplan they are very helpful, they will not judge you and your will feel a whole lot better after just one phonecall.

Write to littlewoods, ask them to put you on reduced payments to give you some ease and you can use Martin templates and write to studio ask for the charges back, (I just got £180 paid back into my studio account after just one letter)

I'm sure others will be along shortly with other suggestions.

It would be useful to do a SOA and post on here.

petrafyde

Hiya!

Well done for coming here, everyone will help you. First things first, try and be a bit calmer about this because you need to make some important decisions and stressing yourself out just won't help.

Here is the link to do your statement of affairs.
http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Be totally honest and put everything! in there. Whatever you write won't be as bad as some others so don't worry.

Secondly, and more importantly does your partner know how worried you really are? Sporadic income is so totally not the way to live and I strongly feel that you need to impress this upon him. Your circumstances are very similar to mine a few years ago, and I know the sheer volume of stress I had then and it's not a nice feeling to have.

Is the business advertised well? Has he compared his rates to that of other joiners? From what you say, he's charging under the current going rates.

I think this is about organisation but primarily if you can get the SOA done we'll all help you

Miss_S_4

Hello,

I feel for you as i am in the same situation.
I'm 22 with 2 kids 1 partner,
I have bills comming out of my ears and didn't know who to turn to.
The main thing is i would say is try not to go back to your mum as you would be leaving your partner & love should always come before money not unless you can move in you mothers house with your partner then he will not feel so alone.
Trying giving http://www.payplan.com a go.
I did and i am now paying very little to all my creditors.
It is going to take me about 50years to pay off my Debts :rotfl: but i live in hope that they will see this is to long to and hopfully clear some of them but untill then i am paying Littlewoods £5, Water £20, Ace £5, Halifax £5, Credit Card 1 £5, Credit Card 2 £5.
It is possible to reduce all your out goings to as little as £5 per credtior per month depending on your situation.
I belive you will be able to reduce them if they understand your situation.

I don't know what to say about your buisness as i don't know nothing about running a buisness.

I hope it goes well for you.

Sarah x x

bellrooster

Thank you for all your replies - just being able to explain my situation 'out loud' does actually make me feel more in control of the situation.

I do do all the admin as far as i can do for the business, I've done lots of templates for estimates invoices etc and am happy to type them out for him as and when he needs them, I've had leaflets printed out in the past and taken them door to door and arranged advertising in the local 'free' paper which yielded a bit of work, but I think in general building work has just come to a halt as people don't seem to have the money to do it!

I've tried to tell him that I'm worried sick, it gets quite emotional though and more often than not he shuts off, I feel that armed with this information that you've given me perhaps we can talk again and come out with some more positive solutions.

I'm going to sit down tonight and go through everything, and then fill in the statement of affairs and see where we are. I think that I'm as guilty as my other half is regarding ignoring the problems, not to say I don't worry it just seems impossible to solve so I don't 'do' anything! - that changes TODAY!

thanks again folks, and I'll keep you posted

bellrooster

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 270
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1500
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1770

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured loan repayments................. 0
Rent.................................... 550
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 120
Electricity............................. 35
Gas..................................... 50
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 60
Telephone (land line)................... 30
Mobile phone............................ 50
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 250
Clothing................................ 20
Petrol/diesel........................... 150
Road tax................................ 33
Car Insurance........................... 70
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 50
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 5
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 12
Life assurance ......................... 12
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 25
Haircuts................................ 3
Entertainment........................... 30
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1567

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 1000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 1000

No Secured Debt

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
littlewoods....................450.......250.......0
capitalone.....................550.......30........29
vanquis........................500.......40........35
mum............................1500......0.........0
marisota.......................70........10........0
simplybe.......................40........5.........0
howdens........................550.......30........0
studio 24......................150.......30........29
next...........................50........10........0
Total unsecured debts..........3860......405.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,770
Expenses (including secured debts)....... 1,567
Available for debt repayments........... 203
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 405
Surplus(deficit if negative)............ -202

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 1,000
Total Secured debt...................... -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -3,860
Net Assets.............................. -2,860

Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission.

======== Enter any other useful information below ========

e.g. the number of adults & children in the household, the number

of cars included in the SOA or anything else that may be useful.

I don't realy understand it, but I think I've included everything - the grocories will go down soon, I'm in the process of potty training so when I don't need to buy nappies then it will be quite a bit less.

RAS

Hi Love

What do you not understand?