what would you do??

kevin_gee

my wife had an operation in 2002 which she thought was covered under Health policy for 6537.00 which it wasnt it was an interest free loan from my employers. we then moved house 2004 and had a shortfall of 7,000. 18 months down the line i've paid the mortgage debt and are sat on 100,000 equity on the house and comfortable financially.

However i have now paid firm back taking out loan 4,800 (8.9 %) over 35 months and run up a Visa 1800

My wife has now idea and i've stopped statements being sent to our PDH

Its killing me being a little disceitful but i dont know what to do

My mother in law could borrow it me i think but ive kept it secret for 3 years and dont know what to do.

We have a 4 bed house, two great healthy kids and about 300 a month spare after food , petrol etc so well off but dont know if i should settle over next 3 yaers and tell her or come clean now.

any thoughts please


thanks

newmum1

welcome to the forum im sure many MSEs will be along shortly to help you. I think the best bet would be to tell your wife, im assuming that these are your only debts and you also have money spare at the end of the month so tell your wife then you can both sit down and discuss it. Good luck

Kimberley

I would tell her, it's not as if she will worry that you will all be in finacial difficulty, also you shouldn't keep anything from her that involves your families future. Share and share alike, and that means everything. You both married for better and worse and you will be so relieved that you told her and got that weight off your shoulders.

Sit her down when you both can when kids are in bed.

mountainofdebt

and say I think it depends on a) what the operation was for and b) how well your wife is as I think this could influence on how she reacts.

Can I just ask why you had to pay the interest free loan back? Have you moved jobs or something similar?

What are your finances like generally?

Penny-Pincher!!

Hi

Well done for posting this, it must have been difficult for you. You have made the 1st positive step and admitting what youve done.

Personally, I would tell your OH and work with it together. This should make it easier for you to resist possible temptation with further spending in future. I would hate my OH not to tell me and would feel that if you were hiding something like this, how could I trust you in other issues IYKWIM.

It may seem daunting but will help you feel less guilty and make your life happier.

Take Care

PP
xx

johannamse

I would get in control myself over the next few weeks and devise a plan of how I want to pay it back. (eg: will be doing overtime for the next year then it will be gone, etc etc). Then sit her down and tell her calmly.If you have a plan, are in control and intend to pay it back I am sure she will be fine.

Entrepreneur_en_faillite

Kevin,

You are a very brave man who has taken the first step of sorting out your problems by admitting that there is a problem!

You must tell your wife.

I spent many years avoiding telling my wife how bad our (My) debt situation was. I thought that she wouldn't be able to cope with the stress of knowing how bad things had got.

I invented many ways of hiding the debts, including having the mail forwarded to my office address. The stress and worry of it was affecting work, making me tired and unwell.

In the end I just had to sit down and tell her, and instead of being upset and yelling at me (like I thought she would), she simply gave me a hug, and said, I knew that something was wrong, now lets do something together to sort it out.

Tell her!

rubytuesday

I have always found that honesty is usually the best policy with anything in life. If your wife some how found out before you told her things would be much worse. No one likes to be decieved for any reason. Good Luck!