Can't even open a proper bank account - fed up with debt

Gonna_Do_It

Sorry in advance but going to have a moan!
I just went to A&L to open a bank account so I could make the most of the interest free O/D, but I was refused, I was only offered an Electron card...how rubbish is that?!

I do have debts, £10k loan, £3K Credit card and £1k O/D oh and a student loab but I make my payments on time , I think I missed one once on my credit card but thats it.

Now I have "woken up" to the fact I have debts, I just feel labelled as though I will never get rid off it and everything is going against me.

I am just trying to sort myself out and I have my positive moments, but do still feel quite low about it all...depressing as well seeing everyone buy Xmas pressies, I won't be buying any this year...

Sorry, I know people are worse off, I'm just struggling to stay positive...

Has anyone got any inspirational ideas/thoughts/stories?

Thanks
Moany Me

skintchick

Search the forum for Ms_London's posts - that will inspire you!

I can't offer anything practical but I can offer you a hug

(((hugs)))

Northernbird_2

Everyone is welcome to a moan. It's difficult adjusting once you've had your lightbulb moment.

If it's any consolation, between me and my OH we owe £97k (eek!). I'm still struggling to overcome the shame of it. No-one else in our lives know, and we desparately want to get out of debt, as it's just so exhausting thinking about it all of the time.

I had to switch bank accounts, and I could only get a cash card. At first I used to hide my card when taking cash out, because I was worried people would see it and know everything. But now, I don't care. Maybe I just don't want easy access to credit and overdrafts any more. The accounts suits my needs, I can't go overdrawn (huge charges), I can't get credit (I think I've got enough), and I can still set up DDs and standing orders. I'm getting used to not being able to pay for stuff with a card, and if anything, it means I know I'm spending cash, I see it in my hand!

I think becoming debt free is about changing attitudes to money and the way you spend it. I thought I'd be able to do it overnight, but it's a process and whilst I may have slips occasionally, I keep my debt in my head all of the time to help me cut down and pay back what I owe.

It is hard and horrible and upsetting, but there has to be light at the end of the tunnel if you keep on walking along the debt free path.

Good luck with it all! I'm always around to listen (read) if you need to let off steam, and other people on this site have listened to me.

I'm paying for Christmas presents by selling stuff on ebay. I look around my house and really think about what I need and want. If I don't need it, and don't really want it, on to ebay it goes.

Anyway, chin up. It's be ok.

Northernbird_2

I've just re-read my post, and I hope I didn't sound harsh or anything. My heart really does go out to you. Take care xxxxx

Gonna_Do_It

Thanks for sharing your experience with me, I must say just having this website is great support, at first I just felt so isolated and thought it is just me in this situation.

I have gone through all sorts of emotions, I was recently off with stress for 2 weeks because I was planning to go travelling for 5 months (for some stupid reason I thought I could do that AND manage my debts!!!!) I just couldn't cope with the constant worry and no one knowing about it and wondering how on earth I would scrape the money together.

Anyway, it all came out and I told my mum. She was dissapointed and also upset that I did not speak to her sooner about it. But I thought I could cope and I am grown enough to sort my problems out!

I did feel a huge relief telling her and she has been great and helping me to try and sort it out. At the same time I felt guilty, stressed, depressed, annoyed...

I am also upset that I cannot fulfill my dream and go travelling. Plus I HATE my job, it bores me to death, I have been wanting to leave for ages, the money is ok though. My dream would be to work with kids/get into social work, but the money will be less, dilema, do I stay in debt and miserable in the same job or do I do what I would love to and just take longer to pay back debts?

I am pleased I have realised no rather later on in life and am looking forward to the challenge in an odd way and at least it will teach me to value money and not to get in debt again.

When I was really low I was thinking, gosh I should be getting married in 3/4 years and having babies and getting a house not still paying off my debt (am 26), my life is ruined!! I know it is not, but still a bummer, but hey that's life and could be worse...

Oh Lord I have waffled on and just shared all my feelings...

Sorry to go on, but feel better just writing it all down even!

Northern Bird, is there anyone you could tell about your debts? I guess you have your partner to share the experience so not so bad, must be hard keeping it secret? But like you say why should you care what anyone else thinks? All the best anyway...

Thanks again

Avogirly

Well, hello! Please please please remember you are not alone and there are many others (like me) who are young (I'm 25) and in debt.
My signature shows how much debt I was in and where things stand now.
I had my lightbulb moment about March this year. And with the help of MSE and my fellow chums I am on the road to debtfreeness!
You will be able to go travelling, just not right at this moment. You have to be patient and realise that your debts are not going to dissapear by tomorrow, it takes a long time and a lot of discipline. But it will be worth it and by the end you will be so money savvy that you will never allow this to happen again.

Good luck, keep posting on here, everyone is wonderful and extremely helpful.

newmum1

hi , just stay strong we all have debts and will support each other its only natural that you will feel like s*** sometimes but as you see the debt disappearing your will feel better. Dont forget about your desire for travelling just put it on the back burner for a while. Chin up.

jlittle

Northernbird wrote:

I had to switch bank accounts, and I could only get a cash card. At first I used to hide my card when taking cash out, because I was worried people would see it and know everything. But now, I don't care. Maybe I just don't want easy access to credit and overdrafts any more. The accounts suits my needs, I can't go overdrawn (huge charges), I can't get credit (I think I've got enough), and I can still set up DDs and standing orders. I'm getting used to not being able to pay for stuff with a card, and if anything, it means I know I'm spending cash, I see it in my hand!

Thanks for that Northernbird. I am trying to work out what to do re: current account at the moment after it was suggested that I get a basic bank account. I was worried about losing the debit feature but your post has helped me swing towards the cash card route.

pennylane99

I know the Visa Electron card is cr*p...someone posted a while ago about the Cashplus prepaid Mastercard....its a card you load up with a prepayment at your post office. Obviously you can only use it if there is enough cash on it to pay for whatever you are buying with it, but Mastercard is taken at many more places than Electron. Also there is NO credit check done, and no need for a bank account to get one.

http://www.mycashplus.co.uk/index.htm

homersimpson_3

first of all virtually everyone has debts- mortgages, credit cards - and if you open a current account (particularly with overdrafts) most, if not all, banks etc will credit check you. everyone in debt (including me) gets fed up, cheesed off and sometimes feels jealous and resentful - nothing to be ashamed of, just human.
Stories of inspiration- a friend of mine (no joke) towards end of 2003 faced a massive endownment shortfall, hadn't paid a penny off capital of mortgage, was about to made redundant and literally could not afford any xmas pressies (even £1). Their job was later made safe; they cashed in endownment; started saving like mad/rebudgeted/started stoozing/spent as little as possible & worked hours all the hours god sends to reduce debts. they won all their xmas pressies in competitions or made up stockings full of freebies for people. a nightmare of a time.
today they have paid off large part of mortgage and attitude completely changed. they complain they're fed and miserable of staying in. having no money to buy clothes etc but in reality when they do go out they question everything they spend!

loubie_lou

PennyLane. I've never seen this card b4. It looks very good. Sorry for hijacking the thread but thought i'd say thanks for pointing this out!

PS Gonna Do It - You've come to the right place here. The advice you will recieve on here will be simple and straight forward. I don't poast that often but if you keep reading you'll find the advice you'll need to get out of debt! ANd theres also the bonus of not having to pay for a financial advisor!

Good luck!

LL