CCCS - help

ajaney

I have just been on the co op financial services website.

There is NO mention of Halifax & i always thought Co-op were on their own - many people use them for their basic bank account. Smile is mentioned as an affiliate.

jackie_w

Well, sis has just called me to advise she has contacted Co-op to open a bank account, and they have said it has to be referred and they will get back to her in 7 days. Is this normal? If she gets refused for this, I will probably have no option but to speak to DH to get him to change his mind, and lend her the £1000 to clear her Clydesdale Bank over draft so she can keep on using that account because, if I dont do this, I dont know what will happen to her.

Jackie

ajaney

I don't know about the Co-op bank as I have never used them, perhaps another member has?

I know you know all this already but lending your sister the money to clear her overdraft is not going to help her in the long run. She will just carry on for another few weeks or months until she is in exactly the same position again. If it were me, I think I would be considering whether I would have to 'walk away' & leave her to it - you have done so much but the fact she refuses to give up her Next card, will not consider getting a part time job etc makes it very hard for me to say anything other than you might as well burn your £1000.

Sorry to be harsh, that is just my opinion.

jackie_w

Hi again,

I dont think your being harsh, none of the replies have been harsh, well my sis might think they are being harsh.

I just dont know what to do. I feel as if im in a no win situation because my family know i can easily give my sister the money. If I give her the money, my Dh will be annoyed with me, if I dont give her the money, my family will be annoyed with me .

You know ive got to laugh, Ive started my Christmas Shopping, and have got all my nieces (sis's daughter) presents in, Ive spent £150 on her, purely because 1. I dont want to see her go without, and 2, cos I know my sister cannot afford it, so this year I have well and truely spoiled her. I havent even got anything in for my own 2 kids, and will spend nowhere near that amount on them, but, my family wont think of this as me helping her out.

Jackie

at_my_wittsend

Hi Jackie,

Your sister cannot still operate her Next directory, one of the conditions of entering a DMP is all cards are cut up and you cannot order from catalogues.

I opened a Natwest step account online was really quick and efficient. They told me they had agreed online within a couple of days received the paperwork through to sign, returned it then came the card etc, but the card did take a while to come and be activated but was no great shakes.

Your sister has to take responsibilty for her own debts and the consequences of living beyond her means. She really does need to get her head around the fact, that Next clothing is not going to be happening, well certainly not frequently that is for sure. I am allowed £40 a month for clothes, for 3 of us.

Your sister needs to leave the overdraft hanging and jump, they will add it to the plan. It is a very scary process and I am so glad I took the bull by the horns and did something about my very sad state of financial affairs. I can now afford food and have a much better quality of life. I am not so worried about where I am going to find money from, also what helped me, was by changing my WFTC and CB to weekly payments instead of 4 weekly.

Her ex husband has to pay for his child(ren) tough luck, if he won't, she goes to the CSA they will get it out of him, she needs that money to survive and look after her and the child(ren).

Good luck to her. Honestly, she really will feel better once she sorts herself. I delyaed for a few months into doing this and made myself quite ill am now a whole lot more positive. This site and the people on it are wonderful and all the posts are what have kept me sane. I can't thank the good folk of here enough for their wisdom.

ajaney

Families, eh?!

Above all, I would not fall out with your Hubby over this. It's not fair to put your relationship under strain, especially when you know that it will not end with paying the overdraft off.

My Dad is absolutely hopeless with money & in the past, my Grandma on my Mums side has helped him out (under duress). My OH earns fairly good money but in order to stop him from asking me, I have always said things like 'we're going to have to pull our horns in because Car needs repairs/unexpected bill/credit crunch/overtime stopped at work etc etc etc' just dropped this into the conversation from time to time to avoid him asking. Just a tactic you might be able to employ to get your family off your back?

Is it a younger sister by any chance?

CCCS_Sarah

Hi Jackie,

Just been having a quick read of your thread. As other people of mentioned she would need to let us know about next as they may have an impact on the advice. There will be money built into the budget for clothes so she would be able to use this.

Feel free to PM me at anytime if you have any questions.

Sarah

jackie_w

Thank you Sarah,

I have PM'd you a couple of questions. I think I have convinced her to disclose her Next Directory (hopefully).

Jackie

newlywed

jackie_w wrote: »

I just dont know what to do. I feel as if im in a no win situation because my family know i can easily give my sister the money. If I give her the money, my Dh will be annoyed with me, if I dont give her the money, my family will be annoyed with me .

The thing is, if you just pay her debt off, she won't learn and the situation will arise again and possibly with increased debt.

If anyone had paid mine off, I would have done the same thing I did each time I got a consolidation loan - spent more on the cards thinking it would all magically be ok in the end

I got a loan to pay the cards, then a bigger loan to pay the first loan and the new debt on the cards, etc etc :rolleyes:

They say sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. She needs to learn in case one day you can't bail her out. In addition to that, the kids will need to learn from their mum's experience because otherwise they are likely to repeat her mistakes, assuming that credit is always available and it isn't difficult to pay it back or get bailed out.

We're busy trying to teach the step kids this as their mum seems to spends her wages the day she gets them (buying expensive things, new mobiles when the old ones work etc) and then has to borrow money from the kids pocket money for bread and milk!

We don't want them to think that's the way everyone should live as one day they may be living in their own place and not have anyone to borrow bread and milk money from

And honestly, now that I don't have credit to buy presents etc (on a DMP with CCCS), not only do I think more carefully before buying presents for others, I also appreciate every single present given to us much more, no matter how small. Even when it's free fruit from someones garden or a money off voucher or something like that.

Miss_Piggy_2

And honestly, now that I don't have credit to buy presents etc (on a DMP with CCCS), not only do I think more carefully before buying presents for others, I also appreciate every single present given to us much more, no matter how small. Even when it's free fruit from someones garden or a money off voucher or something like that.[/quote]


Well said. I now appreciate every single thing given to me. Every week my nan gives us a packet of jaffa cakes and a tin of corned beef (bless her) but when we are short on stuff for lunch at the end of the week it comes in bl00dy handy!!!!!!