Friend getting in debt again. Should I help?

Glen0000

To cut a very long story short my friend was £70k in debt. He earns £15K, his wife earns £5k. They have 4 kids. They bought their house before the boom and recently downgraded house and added to the mortgage to pay off the debt. Mortgage is now around £115k, same value as the new house. The house they lived in and sold cost £60k originally.

The debt was run up in around 5 years. It went on holidays, designer gear etc. My friend went through hell and back, especially over selling their home as they loved that place.

It has been about 12 months now and at first they seemed to be doing really well. Now the old habits seem to be creeping back in. Expensive holidays (2 weeks to Disney), he bought the wife a £1000 watch for birthday etc. My wife is good friends with his missus too and she said she has started using credit cards again when they are in shops (even when just spending £10 in Tesco).

Now I am no angel were debt is concerned, but have my spending habits firmly in control. I know there is no way I could afford to spend like they do, and we have twice in income and our housing cost are about a third of theres. My wife especially really wants to say something, but I am unsure what to do. I can see it all getting out of control again and I don’t want them to lose the house.

How can I help? Should I say anything or keep my nose out? I did make a "gosh you must be good with money" type comment when I heard they had shelled out £5k for Disney as it astounded me. Can I help? Should I help?

GeorgeUK

As a friend, you should help, but only with "friendly" advice. Ask them how long it will take to pay of a holiday like that. They may have come into some money and feel less pressure to save - then again they may just be in the habit of spending and not had their LBM yet.

Tell them about this site and how you are a member - what you get from it etc. I know this is hard to just slide into a conversation but if they haven't had their LBM, it could hit them harder this time.

As a friend, all you can do is try. If they don't seem to be taking any hints, you could just sat I don't mean to pry, but i noticed you're spending like you used to - everything ok?

Not much you can do after that, but at least you've tried and they'll know you will be able to advise them if things are bad or get to a stage that makes them take notice.

LoulaBelle

Mmm - have to agree with George - its a difficult one - in conversation can you drop in 'its worrying times at the moment what with the 'credit crunch' and all and see how he/she reacts. Maybe they have come into some money but then again if his wife admitted to your wife that they are starting to use cards again it doesn't look that way.

All the best on that LoulaBelle

MrsPorridge

Oh dear, this is a really difficult one isn't it? As George suggests maybe mention this website? Maybe you can start a conversation about money - its certainly in the news at the moment so the credit crunch maybe a good starting point as Loula Belle suggests.

I suppose it really depends on how strong your friendship is. If you feel that is a very strong friendship then go for it and state your feelings - explain you find it difficult to raise the subject but you feel that your friendship is such that you can talk about things like this. If you friend then tells you to "mind your own business" then at least you have tried.

Good luck.