My situation. Advice appreciated.

Emmzi

aww nerd! being the responsible one sucks, don't it?

I'm with the people vitong for you getting a room rent. And don't lend dad any more, he's a grown man and has made his own bed... he'll get through your cash in 3 months and you work too hard for it! I'd be tempted to lie and tell him you don't have much left.

Emmzi

ps have you taken your dad to the CAB to get benefits advice? can he at least sign on or something now??

IT_nerd

It's annoying. At this moment in time I have lent to every member of my direct family.
Dad owes 1100.
Brother owes 400..
And my sister owes me 100..

I feel like such a cash cow. Really getting me down tbh.
And what !!!!ed me off even more was yesterday was my birthday, and I felt like treating myself to something so I bought myself a new graphics card, RAM and a game. £300 total.
Then later that day my dad asks to borrow £1100...

It's basically all my damn icesave money spent up.
I wouldn't have bought the chuffin graphics card if I had known he needed money.

Edit: He's on disabilty benifits because of his heart.

Emmzi

IT_nerd wrote: »

Edit: He's on disabilty benefits because of his heart.

Happy birthday nerd!

Now.. treat yourself to meeting some people with rooms to rent. They aren't all psycho mingers y'know!! Look now before reposession time so you can be choosey about who you live with...

You know the chances of you seeing that cash back are tiny - it's just letting him delay what seems inevitable. No point chucking your money away, nso NO MORE!

OTOH if you move out, maybe dad can get a lodger to help with mortgage.. and you won't be stuck in a bad situation? what's the odds of him letting you help him work out a budget? (and odds of him sticking to it?)

Hope you enjoy your improved graphics anyway. You sound like you don't get many treats, so make the most of it.

IT_nerd

I'm now paying him rent each month of £200. And I'm going to try and get my brother to pay that too. He bloody should, he's 28 for christ sake.
I've had an offer of a room with a few of my mates for £210 so that's why I offered 200 to my dad. And I think that's fair really.
My dads outgoings (Credit cards, loans, mortgage, overdrafts, utilities, council tax) are 1600 a month. Give or take a little.
So just to get by he will have to earn £1200 a month.
I'm half tempted to take the internet away from him from 9-5 so he's a little more motivated. At the moment he just spends all his time on their talking to "her".
And he was worried about me spending time on the internet a few years back! It's total role reversal.
Me lending him money.
Telling him to spend less time on the internet.
Telling him to get out the house and get a job.

I feel so old

And don't worry. I've made it very clear that reposession will just happen if he needs another 1K from me.

And you're right. I may never see that 1.1K. But all the worse to him then.
No skin off my back. I'll have that again in 2 months. He'll lose me for life.

Emmzi

I think it might be easier to stay friends with dad if you're at more of a distance from him and with your mates... honest. Yes, he's being a bit of an !!!! over a woman, well, most of us have had friendships like that at some point, but he is still yer dad, even if he is a pain and not coping very well. Not sure it's worth severing all ties for a grand, but I appreciate it's all raw an irritating just now.

However - your life, your decision. Just as it's his decision to spend his time on t'internet instead of useful stuff - he's lived long enough to know the consequences. Sadly, he'll do what he wants to do - you can only look after yourself.

IT_nerd

Not about the grand. It's about respect.

Rolandtheroadie

LMAO is this for real? Are you people taking this seriously?

Fantasist.

IT_nerd

Thats the best post so far.
It shows how ridiculous this situation is.

IT_nerd

Ok, one of my friends txt me today asking if I was still up for moving out.
I've found a 2 bed house for £575 a month.
Or a 3 bed flat for £600 a month.

The house will cost more to heat and generally run than the flat will, and the flat has sea views.
If it's just me and him then it will probably be about £425 a month each in the flat with running costs.
If we get another person in it will be cheaper yet.