desperate for help

gettingsorted

Thankyou all I will have to spend lots of time on these sites you can learn so much.
I have already started using some of the basics range obv need to use lots more.
Am still terrified but dont feel as sad thankyou :eek:

Jacks_xxx

Hiya sweetie,

Could you get the kids (and hubby! ) to be a little more self sufficient so that you could get a saturday job in the run up to Christmas? Marks, Argos, Boots and all the supermarkets start taking on p/t staff at this time of year.

I got an evening job in a restaurant last Autumn and liked it so much that I'm still doing it!

I also babysit and do mystery shopping as well as eBaying everything that's not nailed down.
http://www.retaileyes.co.uk/uk/home/retaileyes_aboutus.php

The Grocery Challenge on Moneysaving Old Style was a big help to me as well

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1122887

We found that making lots of little changes step by step added up to a huge difference.

Love Jacks xxx

gettingsorted

Thanks Jacks and proudmum for your advice
There is no way I could work sat or evening I am on a teacher training course and its pretty full on also my DH is self employed and sometimes works/prices jobs on a sat
I am overwhelmed by all the bits of advice and the huge support I have received from everyone
I will def check out the forums :j

phantom9999

could you make biscuits/cake etc for any relatives you buy for at xmas? Suggest a no spend xmas for the adults so it reduces present cost? or agree with relatives on a "family gift" e.g. board game or something for whole family (& nothing else) for £15/20 ish to cut some costs?


P

gettingsorted

Hi thanks for that idea to be honest I had already decided not to buy for some people anyway as we never see them/hear from them etc so I didnt think it would matter already cut back on mum and dads they understand, my sisters well you know sisters so who knows what they think and in laws I think i will buy a tin of biscuits for, dont see them anyway.
My biggest worry at christmas is the kids I dont want to feel like I have let them down and I dont want them to be sad. I know that money should not make a difference but lets be honest it does at christmas.
I really dont know what to do I dont want to make the kids sad but I dont want to spend money we dont have either its catch 22

Geenie

gettingsorted wrote: »

Hi thanks for that idea to be honest I had already decided not to buy for some people anyway as we never see them/hear from them etc so I didnt think it would matter already cut back on mum and dads they understand, my sisters well you know sisters so who knows what they think and in laws I think i will buy a tin of biscuits for, dont see them anyway.
My biggest worry at christmas is the kids I dont want to feel like I have let them down and I dont want them to be sad. I know that money should not make a difference but lets be honest it does at christmas.
I really dont know what to do I dont want to make the kids sad but I dont want to spend money we dont have either its catch 22

As someone who did not have a lot of money during periods in the past, I can say that children are more resilient and understanding of circumstances then we adults think! Unless too little to understand, in which case what you give them doesn't really matter, I have found that being upfront, and saying that we cannot afford at this present time, can be done in a loving way that they fully understand.

My kids never had the latest gadgets that their friends had when young. TV's and computers in their bedrooms etc! But we always explained why this was so, and keeping the lines of communication open meant that they could see what we were working towards. Now 18 and 20 years old, they are no less loving towards us or saying we deprived them of the latest Nintendo when 10 years old! We are all now enjoying the benefits of past financial constraint.

Children don't actually want material things....they want their parents love and attention. We as adults need to realise this before blowing wads of cash and getting into debt that brings no real long term happiness to anyone in a family.

Good luck and stay positive.

gettingsorted

thankyou and I know you are right I think it hurts me more than them.
All i seem to have said to my kids all year is we cant afford it, they never complain and i just wanted christmas to be great for them
I feel a failure.

crapwithcash82

gettingsorted wrote: »

thankyou and I know you are right I think it hurts me more than them.
All i seem to have said to my kids all year is we cant afford it, they never complain and i just wanted christmas to be great for them
I feel a failure.

Hi gettingsorted, I was in a similar situation last year with creditors calling me up all the time and sending nasty letters etc etc. I was exactly the same as you, stopped answering the phone and left my mail to pile up so that I didn't have to look at the extent of my problem. I had a baby girl last year and decide for her sake to sort it out and I started a DMP too.

Its been the best thing I ever did for my finances, the first two or three months of it I still received phone calls but once the letters from the DMP filtered through to all their departments the phone calls slowly stopped and I now don't receive any calls or letters, and they are receiving regular monthly payments. My DMP is working a treat and I'll be debt free in just under three years.

Don't feel like a failure because you're doing the right thing and if you're doing something about the problem then thats half the battle. This website is fantastic for ideas for money saving and for hints and tips on how to earn extra and make savings here and there.

Have you signed up to quidco (www.quidco.co.uk) yet? There are threads on quidco on this forum I think, but its a fantastic cashback site. I only started using it in July and have around £85 already - every little helps!

Keep your chin up tho, there is definately light at the end of the tunnel for you!!

savingholmes

Hi.... at least you have now started the journey. There is light at the end of the tunnel even if it doesn't feel like it right now. Once you stop being a student, your debts will start to be more manageable.

Christmas: It is possible to get presents from freecycle - my freecycle advertise mp3 players, playstation with games, videos, dvds, books, play mats, boxes of toys, pop up tents - everything. I wanted a bed and got one within 3 weeks of joining. I've got a basket from there too to help with my Christmas hamper project.... When you have been part of this for a few weeks - visit the special occasions board and get ideas for Christmas presents that don't cost a fortune. Personally in your position, I would spend some money on the kids at Christmas. Again when you've settled in a bit look at the make £10 a day challenge for ideas on how to raise money. That's how I'm funding my luxuries this year. It is possible - I've paid off 2 small balance credit cards since joining... still got plenty left to go at tho!

gettingsorted

HI I have now joined quidco thanks for that I have also got a tin for putting 20p's in (read that challenge on one of the forums) I have decided that I will save them until dec 1st and anything I make on ebay and then use that for xmas.
I will also check out local charity shops and see what bargains i can pick up there.
I do need to make sure the kids have a nice xmas or I would end up soul destroyed they are the only things that keep me going.
Thanks again for all advice xx