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stevie_red

I have a wife and 2 kids,christmas is nearly here and I really do not think I can face up to the fact that I am in so much trouble.I mean how do you tell your kids that I simply have no money to buy them presents.A large part of my debt came about as I went on a search to find my natural mother(I was adopted)She was in Ireland so it took a lot of time and money trying to find her.Dont get me wrong a lot of it was my fault as I would take my family with me instead of going on my own,which of course adds more to the air fare,hotels,food etc.Without asking the credit card people would increase my limit which at the time I saw as helpful rather than stupid and at that particular time all I could think about was finding my mother.Any way after a long time I found her but after a few meets with her she never got back to me.Now I fear that after all that I will lose my wife and kids once they find out what a fool I have been when it comes to money.Please can any one tell me how do you face up to that one?I am at a loss I cant sleep I feel sick and alone.

Magentasue

Well, it depends how old your kids are. If they're little, they won't know how much you've spent - it's the adults around you'd be worrying about. If they're older, they will accept that there is no money if Christmas is good in other ways - out comes the Monopoly! Teenagers are the most difficult because they have that peer pressure but they are also old enough to accept facts are facts.

Your priority is to share the facts with your wife - you can't expect much from your children if their parents are not united on this.

Also they need to see that cutbacks are being made all round - not just on Christmas. It's hard for them to see there are problems if nothing else changes. The older they are the quicker they are to point out 'But you can still afford to ...' or 'Well how come we still have ...'

Best start would be CCCS, CAB or National Debtline (links above) or to post everything (Statement of Affairs) here for advice. But it has to be a family effort - good luck!

wigginsmum

Good advice there on the financial side. Re the adoption thing - if you haven't done so already, I'd recommend talking to NORCAP. I'm adopted and I've found them to be brilliant and helpful, whatever stage of the search/meeting-up you're at.

Jules

elona

There is a thread on here called "festive fivers" with ideas for really cheap or home made gifts.

Have you anything you could sell on e bay or Amazon?

Have you heard about freecycle where you give away something you do not want or use and can then get something that you or your kids do want.

It is possible to have a really good Christmas and spent hardly anything - have a search around Old style - they have ideas like a book of vouchers or promises that you can make yourself- I promise to "wash up " "make you breakfast in bed " etc etc

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Hi steviered,

If its any consolation plenty of kids don't get fancy christmas presents and life goes on and they are none the worse for it.

I remember when I was a kid and my dad was unemployed for a few years and me,my brother and sister did not really get anything for christmas for a few years.

Yep might have been a little bit disappointed on the day but with the general excitement of christmas e.g good stuff on the telly / time off school it was not the end of the world.

Certainly it did not emotionally scar me etc etc if anything it was a good thing and taught me to appreciate what I have / had etc etc and looking back now I know my parents did the best they could with the money they had.


You can have a great christmas with your family with out spending big money e. sharing good times with your kids e.g building a snow man, playing party games, watching the footy on telly or what ever does not need to cost money.

Depending on how old they are you can gently explain the situation. or I remember one year my dad did a christams card with some thing like a home made IOU style voucher in it in it ie this card can be exchanged for £100 at a later date.....

it did the job of giving us a happy face on the day and to be honest after a few days we had totally forgotten about them...

what I am saying is you can have a happy family christmas with out blowing lots of cash on presents.

On another note post here all your in goings and outgoings and we can adivse you the best we can on your current situation.

I wish you all the best.

southernscouser

Hi Stevie and welcome to MSE.

Sorry to hear about your problems but we are all here to help. If you post a SOA (state of affairs) we will see what we can do to help you with your finances.

Have a look at the thread below and post back here!

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280