Debt free seems so far away

Karb

My story is fairly normal - my marriage broke up, I was left to bring up a small child on my own, while working full time. My wages covered my mortgage and nursery fees, and in fairness to my ex-wife she did pay me as much maintenance as she could afford, but it wasn't enough for me to live on.

Virtually everything - gas, phone, electric, council tax, water rates, car, food etc went onto the credit card or overdraft.

In time, my son started school so I saved on nursery fees, I remarried and now have five children and stepchildren, but I never managed to claw any of my debts back.

When I joined this forum around two years ago, my debts were around £15,000. I've got that down to around £12,000 now, but I've really had to cut back on a lot of things and my motivation is starting to wane.

£12,000 seems such a huge amount that there just doesn't seem any point in saving 5p by dropping down to supermarket own brand baked beans (as an example).

What tips or techniques do others use to keep their motivation?

Merlot

If you could post an soa, we would be able to advise you better.

As far as saving 5p at the supermarket, I walk 2 miles to Lidl to save pennies on my shopping, and I am no longer in debt, I became debt free a few years ago, but honestly every penny does help.

Its not easy, maintaining the motivation, but honestly it will be so worth it.

I have a few top tips, please ignore them if they are of no use to you.

Use tesco value soap powder, a large box is about £1.69 and buy a nice smelling one like bold if on offer and mix in.

Only wash on a 30 or 40 degree quick wash.

If you buy a kitchen trigger cleaning spray, keep an empty one as a spare and when you buy a new one, tip half of it into the empty one and top each up with water. 2 for the price of 1.

I recommend a slow cooker, sausage casserole is a personal favourite of mine and the OH, and very cheap too

Becoming debt free can be a hard slog, and sometimes, me included became fed up, but honestly stick at it, and keep posting on here if you are fed up or finding it difficult, we are here to motivate you and to lend an ear.

Wishing you the best.

Merlot.x.

Karb

Thanks Merlot. I'm not really sure how useful my SOA would be. For a start my income and spend vary quite considerably depending on what jobs I have on, and on the kids activities. We quite often travel to events and competitions for example. The other thing is that I don't need to post an SOA to know that there are undoubtedly things that I could save on, the cable TV for example, but I really dont want to deprive the kids any more than I have to.

I realise that this seems like I'm going about it quite half heartedly, and I suppose that is the problem. Even if I did save an extra £50 a month by getting rid of the few luxuries I have left, it would still take 20 years to clear my debts (not including any interest payments).

I found the grocery challenge quite useful, as it really made me think about what I was spending and why, but my motivation is starting to wane now.

I read a fantastic post on another thread yesterday about imagining the boss of the credit card company as the playground bully, and the interest payments as him taking your dinner money. Or imagining him as living in a mansion with expensive cars outside, and every month you have to go to his door and hand him your hard earned money for nothing in return. That really hit home.

What do others do to keep themselves going when the going gets tough?

ltm07

Hi Karb, I know where you are coming from here mate. OH & I have been fed up so many times with being in debt & were hoping to be DF in 5 years time, but to do this would mean us not enjoying life as much as we'd like to. We have changed many of our spending habits & have set our DFD back another 5 years & hope to gain as much ground as possible on that, but live our lives the way that we want to rather than let our debts dictate how we live our lives IYKWIM. You should really try the downshift challenge as you would be surprised how much you can save on your shopping & as Merlot says shop at Lidl & Aldi, the food is just as good & in some cases better than all of the major supermarkets.

shinyhead

I think there'll be a lot of us on this forum who know how you feel, me included. Merlot's right though, if you post your SOA on here then we can try and help cut your outgoings down. There was a time when I felt that it was all too much hassle but in the end I decided to make moneysaving into a game. I now get a good feeling if I've found that I can get something cheaper elsewhere. Trick is to keep it to necessities and not then go bargain hunting for things you don't need!

Your post on the playground bully is pretty much spot on. I believe we're being brainwashed generally to be in debt. The only people who really benefit from this are of course the bank shareholders.

Now when I reduce a balance on a card and don't use it up again I simply think that's one less glass of bubbly at the shareholder's meeting, or that that's part of a payment for an expensive car someone else doesn't have!

And if you're feeling really hacked off try a DMP!

Wishing you the best.

Karb

Thanks for the replies.

Today I've joined the "clear a debt by Xmas" challenge. Should help to keep me motivated for the next three months.

Buffythedebtslayer

Karb, I know how you feel. some times I think what's the point I ll never get it paid off.

and as for the pennies not making the difference I wonder that too. I am trying to only buy what I need, clothes are bought with vouchers, I have a shopping list to stop me overspending, I have jars with change, I sell on e bay, I have a second job.

some days its great other day its pants.

The only tip I have is the payment a day thread, it does focus the mind paying a bit every day. oo and I have been putting a way a tiny bit of money
every so often and in a couple of months I 'll have enough to make an extra loan payment. its taken ages but it would never have happened if I hadn't started.

good luck xx