What made you finally ring to get help?

johanne

Hi,

I was just wondering if you dont mind saying.. those of you who have rang places like CCCS etc for help... what was it that made you finally do it?

Just my OH has his head firmly in the sand but keeps promising and promising to ring them... he first promised 18 months ago to do it when i found letters threatening repossession of his house, then when i got pregnant a year ago , then 4 months before DD was born when he applied for his credit report and it showed 22k of debt, then after DD was born and now his house has actually been repossessed 2 weeks ago... but he still hasnt rang anyone to sort anything!!

Im at a total loss with him and just cant convince him to do it.. its always "i'll do it tomorrow...i promise" and then he never does. I honestly thought he would have sorted himself out by now... and not even becoming a dad or losing his house seems to have made him realise the trouble he is in.

bargainbetty

My LBM was realising that my 'financial embarassment' was going to get a lot worse. I was breaking up with my ex, and buying him out of the flat we shared. I went from half a £50k mortgage to paying all of a £90k mortgage.

If I wanted to keep my home, I had to smarten up.

I take it this was his house and not yours? If he has lost everything of his, I would get all my accounts separated from him, and explain why. Tell him that you're not going down with him.

If he won't help himself, you have to protect your own first.

Then, once you and DD are protected, tell him you'll help him out if he wants, but he has to be honest with you. Hold his hand while he calls... whatever it takes.

Remember though, you can't have it for him. Just protect yourself and DD first. Sorry to be mercenary, but it's her future first.

Good luck sweetheart x

johanne

thanks for replying.. yeah it was his house.. i was living with him orginally too until the first instance of the repossession, but wed broke up (arguing over money! :rolleyes: ) i was cleaning up when i found the repossession papers stuffed down the back of a wardrobe... he hadnt told me and the repossession was due to happen the following monday... so having had enough i rang my parents in floods of tears and they paid for me to move out that week.... "luckily" (not really lucky at all but dont know how else to explain this...) my dad had an empty house he now owned as my nan had passed away few months before so i moved in there as i was on too low a wage to afford a place alone..... so me and DD have a very secure roof over our heads as ive never been able to afford to move out since! :rolleyes: Once i was 8 months pregnant he finally gave up on nagging me to move to his house (i refused as i didnt think it was secure - which has since been proved right) and he moved here.. he planned to sell his house but it was another "i'll sort it.. i'll sort it." and nothing happened till they finally repossessed it on aug 28th.

We dont have ANY joint finances... except he owes 4k on a credit card thats in my dads name... :rolleyes: :rolleyes: I was an additional cardholder and we all agreed to allow him to buy a car on it as he needed it for his business at the time (which ended due to some scum blowing up said car 4 months later).... i accept that debt as mine though as i allowed him to do it... hence my signature..

I also have all the bills - everything - in my name here so i know they are being paid etc. Whereas there everything was in his name and he told me the bills where paid when they werent

What worries me is he still hasnt told anyone hes moved, hes not responsible for that place anymore or that hes moved jobs... even though his last employer informed him the council has contacted him to deduct what he owes in council tax from his wages..... im scared as hes ignoring that hes gonna end up in prison..... its about 4k years he owes them and just keeps ignoring them

Im scared people are gonna turn up here looking for him too... ive grown up in this area - all my neighbours have known me since i was a baby and id be so embarrassed if baliffs turned up here.... id also be livid as i told him i dont want baliffs here when our daughter is in the house and 95% of the stuff in the house is MINE or my parents.. we have no proof of whats his and whats not.

Im also scared that my maternity pay stops at the end of october then im gonna have to rely on him for money as he works mad shifts so i wont be able to arrange my own job around them or childcare... I have tried talking to him but he just gets a sulk on and says "i know, i'll sort it " then storms out in the garden for a ciggie......

I have considered throwing him out and telling him cant come back till hes sorted himself out (he has other things he keeps breaking promises about too which are bad for me and DD) - but he has no-where to go now and id feel so bad and guilty throwing my daughters daddy out on the street... we only have each other.