Handing in my notice need Advice.

frazzmunch

hi buffy...i am so sorry to hear of your plight....

my husband had similar issues a few years ago..high pressure job, huge salary but totally miserable. he ended up on anti depressants and was signed off for a few weeks on sick leave....during this time it really hit me how nothing in life is worth being that miserable for....so i told him to quit....

he did, and we lost a HUGE amount of salary and almost had to go bankrupt...yes, it was enormously stressful and being in the amount of debt we ended up in almost seemed as bad as anything else we had ever been through..BUT...i got my husband back...and that is entirely priceless....

i may well have to spend the rest of my life paying off the debts we have and i may not have the lifestyle i would like, but at least i know that when he gets up in the morning he can look forward to his day and not want to hide away...

i can't advise you either way...it is a decision that you have to make...all i would say is that life is very short and its not worth spending most of it miserable...

good luck, whatever you decide to do

Buffythedebtslayer

Hi people, thought I 'd best pop in even though its late.

I haven't really made a decision either way yet, although it does feel good to know that if it got too much I know I could give my notice in without a bck ward glance - before i would have felt guilty about my pupils.

Georgia's Mum - I am so sorry for your experiences but so grateful for your help, I will be in touch I value your opinion.

Just wanted to say this place and every one who has replied to my thread are fab, thank you for taking the time.

I do feel better, but will also ring the doctors to get an appointment. re check a few things.

night all

xxxx

Bayblue

You're back :j

I've been a bit concerned about you Buf.

Am glad you're still thinking things through and getting it all sorted.

Let us know how things go - and when you're in your fabulous new job please can you find me one?

boredofbeingathome

Hi buffy, i agree with Georgias mum. As a supply teacher i know it is even more difficult, because you go in blind and believe me there are some horrors out there..wouldn't even call some of them civilised and that's being polite. I would get all the advice you can and if necessary take time off have councelling and get help that way. Think things through carefully and deal from a position of strength, there are also some teachers websites where you can post anon, and get some advice there. Take care hun x

Buffythedebtslayer

I have pretty much decided to take it all a week at a time, I worked out my sums over and over and over again. It is so risky with the amount of debt I have to not have permament employment. I spoke to some friends re supply and I would almost definitely need to drive for that - so that is the next thing to do.

I really did feel so much better once I had told you guys. I know I don't know any of you really but it just helped that some one somewhere knew.

I went in on Tuesday with a kind of sod it all attitude. felt much better. I sat and worked out my routine when to work late and when to go home. My second job tutoring has gone well so far, I like it - its like proper teaching!!

I know I am still not right about it all but its better now. I know I can leave now and I will when I am ready or when I have had enough. If I could hang on and get to be debt free it would be good, but if not I will manage.

I have not volunteered for anything extra and even said no to a couple of people.

oh and i have written my letter too!

thanks again everyone.

xxxx

Sarahsaver

Thanks for the update.
You are doing well to be organised and planning things, rather than so many people i have known in teaching just melting down and having a more hopeless attitude.

Bismarck

Is it worth posting this on the employment board to get a view on alternative options? There's some clever HR type people on there....

kizzykizzywizzy

Hi Buffy - just wanted to say good for you with the new attitude.
I have learnt over the years too, to say NO.
I used to agree to do something & then worry about it or not want to do it & then try & make up an excuse.
Now I just say NO
No reasons, no excuses, you don't need to tell them that, so I don't it's so much easier.
Or if I'm not sure, I say can I get back to you on that one.

Hope this all works out for you
Take Care
xx

savingholmes

Bismarck wrote: »

Is it worth posting this on the employment board to get a view on alternative options? There's some clever HR type people on there....

who says they are not on here too?;)

Sailorgirl

Your first post sounds like I was about 4 years ago and there is a whole different world on the other side - believe me!

What I did (not a recipe but if it helps)...

I had a week off work sick. The week out of stress, started to break the deadlock, I actually got some sleep and began to feel like me again.

I had some counselling/ cognitive behaviour therapy which helped me to start saying "No" to people and looking after myself more. I also wrote my CV, which was really useful as before that I was suffering from massive loss of confidence and thought no one else would employ me - but once I'd written it I remembered that I was a useful person who had a lot to offer. I also applied for a job (for interview practice).

Doing some exercise (although it's hard work to get motivated) is also really good for clearing your head and making an effort to look after yourself.

The other thing, which it sounds like you're already doing, is to break it down into small decisions rather than just one big one, so look at next week rather than the next 12 months.

Good luck and look after yourself.
SG