Should I do this?

Piquant_2

Hi Vicky

I don't know enough to be of any help, however, my experience of mbna may help you decide one way or another.

I transferred £4000 to my A&L (mbna) card for a year of 0%. Then I failed to transfer the amount to another card before the period was up. The payments leapt from £21 a month to a shocking £101.44 a month. I cannot transfer this amount anywhere else so am madly selling on ebay etc to clear the card as quickly as I can.

Piq

rog2

vicky_kidder wrote: »

And unfortunately no they haven't addressed reasons for being in debt, but I don't think I should say this reason as I don't wanna be disrespectful to my parents, you know?

Sorry to ask for peoples help though without giving the full story!

Vicky - I don't think anyone is criticising (other than constructively) you for asking for advice - after all, we're all in debt or have been in debt, which is why we're on this board.
It's just that there are literally so many alternative ways that are open to your parents in order to help them deal with their debts, that they are, most likely, unaware of their options.
It has always, and consistently, been the advice on this board, to avoid any further 'borrowing' to pay off debt, although moving credit card debt to lower, or zero, rate cards can be a useful way of reducing the amount actually paid on a 'debt'.
Your proposal, however, actually shifts the 'responsibility' of the debt from your parents to you. It is for that reason, alone, that you would be best advised to take professional advice, from one of the debt charities, before proceding along that path.

vicky_kidder

Gosh, from some of the posts on here, I think whether I help or not, an MBNA card is definitely not the way to go!

Gosh i'm so confused though, because I know I probably shouldn't lend them the money but it's so hard with family, especially parents as I've just finished universtiy and got a good job and they know I've got money now, so I feel like I should help. :-(

Sorry for that really long sentence as well!

RAS

Hi

If they have not addressed the reasons for gettig in debt, then definately do not do this.

1. if they have to take some sort of debt management plan out now or in the future, they will not be allowed to pay you back anything other than pro rata, which means you get stuck with a high rate debt to pay off, which will get a lot higher if there are any defaults (not far off the current rate they are paying).

2. they can only pay a DD if the money is there. If it is not, then you will be in arrears and it starts to affect your credit rating. Not a good idea if you are wanting to martgage in the near future.

3. If they end up going BK in the next 5 years, then the fact that they paid off a debt to you in full could be seen as unfair and the OR could reverse the payments and demand you pay money to their creditors.

get them to contact one of the debt advisors to who rog gave you the link and also to come on here and poast an SOA. Hopefully, between us we can cut their expenditure and sort their finances out.

Finally, is there any slack in any of their other cards, onto which they could move some of the debt?

vicky_kidder

rog2 wrote: »

Vicky - I don't think anyone is criticising (other than constructively) you for asking for advice - after all, we're all in debt or have been in debt, which is why we're on this board.
It's just that there are literally so many alternative ways that are open to your parents in order to help them deal with their debts, that they are, most likely, unaware of their options.
It has always, and consistently, been the advice on this board, to avoid any further 'borrowing' to pay off debt, although moving credit card debt to lower, or zero, rate cards can be a useful way of reducing the amount actually paid on a 'debt'.
Your proposal, however, actually shifts the 'responsibility' of the debt from your parents to you. It is for that reason, alone, that you would be best advised to take professional advice, from one of the debt charities, before proceding along that path.

Thank you for being so helpful rog2, I know it's not nasty criticism (!) but helpful and exactly what I need really. I think I will sit with them and help them, but help them in the sense of helping them see the options they have of helping thmeselves. Will definitely get them to ring those numbers, and to be honet, maybe get them to come to this site (not telling them my name on here obv!) as this is such a helpful and friendly site!

Thank you to everyone! :beer:

RAS

Hi

You might find it useful to have a chat with Gemmzie. She is a bit younger than you and a student helping sort out her parents' finances.

Part of that means living at home and paying rent to help them out, but also managing debts.

rog2

vicky_kidder wrote: »

I know it's not nasty criticism (!) but helpful and exactly what I need really. I think I will sit with them and help them, but help them in the sense of helping them see the options they have of helping thmeselves.

That, Vicky, is the best help that you can give them - they will appreciate it in the end.
And, by the way, they would be most welcome on this forum.

vicky_kidder

rog2 wrote: »

That, Vicky, is the best help that you can give them - they will appreciate it in the end.
And, by the way, they would be most welcome on this forum.

:j :j :j

THank you so much Rog2, and i'm sure with people like you and the others on this thread and forum providing so much helpful and supportive advice, they can sort themselves out, without me having to take on some of their debt.

Burlesque_Babe

as it's not their only debt, the best thing you can do is to give them the numbers of CCCS/Payplan and National Debtline. Also help them put together an SOA (there is a thread in the stickies on how to do this) and offer to help them tackle the debt themselves by supporting them when they approach one of the organisations mentioned.

SerenaGoode

One more thought on this Vicky, though it sounds like you're coming to some conclusions already.

At one stage when I had problems, I asked my mother for help of this sort - her taking out a loan that I would repay.

What I realised on reflection was that it was an unfair thing to ask for several reasons. Firstly it meant that if I didn't sort everything else out or if I ended up in Debt Management, she would end up losing out rather than me or my creditors. Secondly, I realised it was throwing good money after bad - the chances are that as long as there is a lifeline of that sort, you will take it if you are in debt. But if you don't face up to the underlying problem, it is only postponing the problem, not solving it, and may make the final solution harder.

So I changed my mind and told her I would find my own way to sort things out. This probably involves a formal Debt Management Plan. I'd far rather she kept her money, and if I get really stuck on the debt management plan she can always give me the odd small amount in an emergency, which she's happy to do. But by taking her money when I was panicking, I'd have been risking losing it and not fixing things really.

I suppose the moral is you mustn't feel bad about not helping them. If they are forced to face up to and deal with the problem, perhaps through the debt management route, you can always help them with groceries or bills when times are tight. That is probably more real help in the long run than allowing them not to face up to the problem now.

vicky_kidder wrote: »

:j :j :j

THank you so much Rog2, and i'm sure with people like you and the others on this thread and forum providing so much helpful and supportive advice, they can sort themselves out, without me having to take on some of their debt.