Hi Can I have some advice please?

teacup_2

Very sweet though. I think its hard sometimes when you want to do something nice for someone to not be impulsive!. I hope you shared the chocs !!:rotfl:

Horace

Hi and welcome.

Men are usually hopeless at shopping and just chuck things into the trolley without thought as to whether or not it is actually needed or liked. They cannot multi-task so it is hopeless asking them to read a list at the same time. I may be generalising but I know this is what my OH does - he just goes into hunter gatherer mode:rotfl:

If you can, maybe it would be best if he gave you housekeeping money and you did the shopping instead because you are more likely to stick to a list. Try shopping in cheaper stores like Lidl - their food is just as good as Tesco or any of the other big supermarkets, buy meat at the local butcher and veg/fruit at local market or local greengrocer as it will be cheaper than supermarket produce.

miserly_mum

Horace wrote: »

Hi and welcom

If you can, maybe it would be best if he gave you housekeeping money and you did the shopping instead because you are more likely to stick to a list. Try shopping in cheaper stores like Lidl - their food is just as good as Tesco or any of the other big supermarkets, buy meat at the local butcher and veg/fruit at local market or local greengrocer as it will be cheaper than supermarket produce.

I'm not completely sure the Hubby actually does the shopping just pays for it?

To be honest if I was Teacup i'd be more concerned with what Hubby does with the £300 odd he has left every month after he pays all his allocated bills

If they don't go out or eat out and never go on holiday and all he has to buy out of it is a few beers for himself at the weekend.....where the hell is the rest of it going to??

OH and I love our wee Tipple at the weekend. We don't go out to bars etc much (through choice) as it costs way too much.We prefer to spend money on long week-ends away several times a year instead.

Anyway the point i'm making is (i'll get there eventually:rotfl: ) The big Supermarkets do great deals on booze nowadays. OH buys boxes of 18 cans for £9 from Asda and i'll get 3 bottles of wine for a tenner. Thats our weekend sorted for £20.Even throwing in a Take away its less than £35.

Even if Teacups Hubby is spending £20 on himself on beer and cigs at the weekend.(and why not after a hard weeks work) That would be £80 per month. Where is the other £220 going???:o

If this is just being frittered away its such a waste. It could be used for family holidays, days out etc.

In all honestly my OH could fritter away double that amount every month without any problem. If he did and me and the kids never got a holiday etc because of it I really couldn't live with it. Fortunately he knows hes a cr*p with money and thats why I deal with our finances.

teacup_2

Hi yes I usually do the shopping and use his money from his account as I pay the direct debits and get any extras for kids, bus fares etc.
Hi miserly mum I think you are exactly right, his weekend begins fri eve and stretches through to sunday and drinks on most of those days . Tends to drink with friends etc I guess really we dont do much together apart from stay in!. He complains alot about his clothes looking worn out but if I had the purse strings !!i will organise the finances better. I beleive I would be told that I was too controlling if I suggested this! which doesnt help. The money is just being frittered away :rolleyes:

Pink.

Hi sensiblespender,

As you're thread is not necessarily Old Style and you are looking for ways to cut back in general I have moved your thread over to the Debt Free Wannabe board as there are lots of people there who will be able to give you some excellent advice and tips (even if you aren't in debt).

Pink

miserly_mum

teacup wrote: »

Hi yes I usually do the shopping and use his money from his account as I pay the direct debits and get any extras for kids, bus fares etc.
Hi miserly mum I think you are exactly right, his weekend begins fri eve and stretches through to sunday and drinks on most of those days . Tends to drink with friends etc I guess really we dont do much together apart from stay in!. He complains alot about his clothes looking worn out but if I had the purse strings !!i will organise the finances better. I beleive I would be told that I was too controlling if I suggested this! which doesnt help. The money is just being frittered away :rolleyes:

Hello again, you mention he complains his clothes look worn out. Is he expecting/hoping you will buy some for him or does he buy his own out of his money?

If he has £300 left to himself every month he has no excuse to be wearing tatty clothes. If he choses to spend his Family's money on beer then personally i'd let him wear what he has till they fall apart :rolleyes: But then i'm a biatch :rotfl:

You really do need to try to discuss your finances with him. It seems very unfair you have £197 clothe and entertain yourself and 2 kids and he has £313 to himself each month. Do you get out at all?

Can I ask how you manage at Xmas. Does he pay for it, or do you do cover it out of your own money?

Do you think he does this because he can? By that I mean you always go along with it so he thinks it ok?

teacup_2

Hi Miserlymum,
I know thats just the thing he will complain , but it is up to him to get his clothes etc. He will go and buy something when he has too! or when I have shrank something!
We dont do anything as a couple , as a family we go to library, car boot sale,parks etc. I normally cover christmas with a bit of forward thinking. He definaetely has it too easy, I am too laid back I guess. Things must change:T

oxondaemonfeurer

I think this is a common problem, we women tend to be the ones paying the bills, shopping etc and getting 'housekeeping' each month from the OH, mine moaned at giving me £500 towards the house expenses which still left him with £300 and I would have about £40 if I was lucky - he ran up the council tax debt and yet I have to cover that in the household stuff and yes, at the end of the month he asks if I have any change! arghhhh

My problem is that he gave up his job 2 weeks ago and now has no income and yet still expects to have beer/go out etc.... money is a real pain at times!

miserly_mum

teacup wrote: »

Hi Miserlymum,
I know thats just the thing he will complain , but it is up to him to get his clothes etc. He will go and buy something when he has too! or when I have shrank something!
We dont do anything as a couple , as a family we go to library, car boot sale,parks etc. I normally cover christmas with a bit of forward thinking. He definaetely has it too easy, I am too laid back I guess. Things must change:T

Darlin things really do need to change.

When I was with my ex hubby I was very much in your position and its completely sh*te. But things won't change unless you try to change them.

I'd definately start with Xmas. Tell him you need X amount each month between now and Xmas.If he's not willing to contribute then just buy stuff for the kids and your side of the family.

Be really tight for the next few weeks with your shopping. Look for bargains and reduced stuff etc. Bung an extra something into the trolley when you go shopping each week. Box of chocs or a bottle of wine or a CD as gifts. He'll be paying for them without even knowing it :rotfl:

Let him deal with pressies for his family and friends and definately don't get him anything. If you aren't as big a biatch as me buy him really cheap boring pressies from the kids. Socks and really cheap after shave from the £ shop. You know the stuff that smells like cats pee. He'll have to smile and say their lovely because the kids gave them to him.

I honestly can't believe he expects you to keep yourself, 2 children and do Xmas out of less than 200 quid a month.

BTW does he buy you anything nice for Xmas?

miserly_mum

matureoxstudent wrote: »

I think this is a common problem, we women tend to be the ones paying the bills, shopping etc and getting 'housekeeping' each month from the OH, mine moaned at giving me £500 towards the house expenses which still left him with £300 and I would have about £40 if I was lucky - he ran up the council tax debt and yet I have to cover that in the household stuff and yes, at the end of the month he asks if I have any change! arghhhh

My problem is that he gave up his job 2 weeks ago and now has no income and yet still expects to have beer/go out etc.... money is a real pain at times!

Are you sure your OH and my ex aren't the same person? :rotfl:

I'm convinced he believed I could conjure up from nowhere too.