help re gambling & alcohol addiction

MYLITTLESISTERLOLA

I have taken the liberty of posting a link to another thread I have in the families section http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1114829 re my fathers gambling & alcohol addiction. I know this isn't tehnically the correct thread for it but I have found so much support in the past from this board that I hoped people could suggest what I can do. I have agreed the childcare situation is sorted now and my father will no longer be an active part in my childs life but now it's the addictions I am hoping to hep him fight for his and my mums sake. I really don't know what to do and would appreciate everyones thoughts
Thanks

tealady

Hi You cannot take on all your families problems nor can you solve them. I think that the only person who can help and addict is themselves, if they don't wan't to change then there is nothing you can do. Stop trying to please everyone, you are tearing yourself into little pieces. The most important person to concentrate on is your child, children need to be protected and cared for by adults, any adult who is not prepared to behave responsibly around a child should not be allowed to see them unsupervised. I appreciate your mum may be upset with your dad but she must decide what her relationship with him is to be, if she stays that is HER decision however as a loving daughter I know you want whats best for her, however sometimes "best" is just best of the worst.
Whatever you decide or do I hope it works out well for you.

riquelme

hiya, i cant open the thread because software`that i have downloaded stops it. the software i have downloaded is gamblock, £20 per year and this stops me accessing gambling websites. i have been through a similar problem recently and am determined to stop gambling. i nearly lost my marriage and family, contemplated suicide. this was 2 weeks and have and have been through hell. im about to self exclude myself frrom all the bookies in town (easily done, just take a passport and ask them to ban you) ive started going to gamblers anon, and to address my financial problems i contacted cccs and am about to start a DEBT MANAGEMENT PLAN. so far so good. i hope some of this helps, pm me if you want to chat further in private. its difficult i know, im going through it.

take care x

MYLITTLESISTERLOLA

I've looked into gamblok but he hardly knows how to switch the computer on thankfully, I was thinking of talking to him to see if he would self-exclude from two of his regular haunts I know he could go somewhere else as unfortunately bookies are everywhere. I think he uses 1 in particular over the last few months so if he self-excluded he could break the habit, make it less comfortable. He has talked to friends in the past abut GA but I don't think he could do it, he's very head strong and proud ( typical man) he took out a loan last week for £7K and it's all gone, now his business does quite well but every penny he makes goes back on gambling. I am so happy to hear a story of someone taking there addiction on and making progress. good luck on your journey and after I have a talk with him ( haven't mentioned it to him in the past as he has a temper and will deny all) I might get back in touch with you, good Luck again

Kmac_Edin

Although I'm not able to offer any practical advice I understand exactly the position you are in.

My father has an alcohol problem, he drinks up to 2 litres of whiskey a week coupled with a couple of bottles of wine. He drinks no "soft" drinks at all and starts his day with what ever alcohol is left in the glass at the side of his bed.

Recently, my sister (who lives at home) subsitiuted all his alcohol bottles for either water (that was poured into the gin bottle) or flat ginger ale and water (poured in to the whiskey bottles) as dad was insistent he didnt have a problem. Within 24hrs he was vomiting, shaking, very moody and going through very severe withdrawl.

My sister took an allergic reaction one evening and needed to be taken to the hospital to get her breathing again, my dad was too drunk to drive her there and had to call an ambulance. Addy 10 mins onto the time it took to get get to the hospital.

There is nothing the NHS can do for this because apparently my dad isnt posing a threat to others (unless sis takes another reaction) and hes not a danger to himself so we are left to deal with him. He refused to accept his problem and therefor will not ask for help.

I hope that you are able to get your dad the help that he needs, and the help that you want to get him. xxx

Hes a very proud man also and I think that is part of the problem.