IN DEBT + SUICIDAL

in Loans
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Legacy_userLegacy_user Forumite
0 Posts
Newbie
??? :'(HI I AM IN DEBT TO THE VALUE OF £15000 MY HUSBAND DOES'T KNOW. HE LOST HIS JOB YESTERDAY AND IS OBLIVIOUS TO WHAT IS HAPPENING. I HAVE TWO LOANS, STORE AND CREDIT CARDS SOME OF WHICH ARE IN ARREARS. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO APPROACH THE COMPANIES,I CAN'T PHONE BECAUSE I HAVE A HEARING PROBLEM AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORD A LETTER TO EXPLAIN MY SITUATION. I FEEL SUICIDE IS THE ONLY WAY OUT. CAN YOU HELP?

Replies

  • MSE_MartinMSE_Martin MoneySaving Expert
    8.3K Posts
    Forumite
    OK. First of all - debt is a problem - but not insolvable. If you read through this website you'll see plenty of emails from people who have been heavily in debt and come out the other side and its been sorted out. So please remember this - it may seem black and dark now - but it will get better.

    Before I talk about the money though - I need to say - I'm very sorry you're feeling suicidal. If you contact me via email - [email protected] and send me your details (dont worry about the automatic reply my email generates, I WILL make sure i read the emails in case it is you) i will arrange through This Morning for you to contact someone who you will be able to talk to. I hope that helps.

    With your money - i can't tell you whether you should tell your husband or not - you have to think about that. It may make life easier if you share your problem - but you are the judge of that. However i can tell you there are some really good places to go for help when you are in your debt. In your case I suggest due to your hearing problems then face to face is best. The Citizens Advice Bureau is really useful and have debt counsellors specialising in this area.

    If you want to look at the basic advice they give and find out how to contact them before seeing them direct then try http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/your_world/consumer_affairs/seeking_help_with_debt.htm

    I'm really pleased you emailed about this. Admitting there's a problem with debt is a great start to getting the problem sorted - from here on in life should get easier.

    Martin
    Martin Lewis, Money Saving Expert.
    Please note, answers don't constitute financial advice, it is based on generalised journalistic research. Always ensure any decision is made with regards to your own individual circumstance.
    Don't miss out on urgent MoneySaving, get my weekly e-mail at www.moneysavingexpert.com/tips.
    Debt-Free Wannabee Official Nerd Club: (Honorary) Members number 000
  • AndreaAndrea Forumite
    368 Posts
    I've been Money Tipped! Chutzpah Haggler Newshound! PPI Party Pooper
    Hiya

    Welcome to the chat boards.

    Martin is right. It might not be quite what you want to hear right now but there are members and guests of the site that have had much bigger debts than you have now and they've managed to sort things out. So if they can you certainly can.

    I think you've made a really good first step already just by talking to someone about it. I'm sure just by reading Martin's email you felt at least a little feeling of relief that this can be resolved. That feeling will be even bigger if you go and talk to someone at the Citizens Advice Bureau. You'll get help contacting your loan and credit card companies. Did you know some companies will stop charging the interest if you ask and you can also arrange to pay a lower amount per month.

    Meanwhile do as Martin suggests and have a read of previous posts on the boards. It sounds awful but often reading about other people in the same boat makes our situation feel so much better.

    Please post again soon to let us know how you get on. I love having a good chinwag (and I'm always around on the boards) so if you feel like having a chat send me a message and we'll have a good gossip (you make the coffee and I'll bring the biscuits).

    Talk to you soon :D

    Andrea
  • SystemSystem Forumite, Community Admin
    177.9K Posts
    10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Forumite
    Hi,

    I hope you’ve emailed Martin so he can help you seek advice. You’ve made the first step and once you realise there are people willing to help you with your situation things will be a little better.

    Like Andrea said once you start reading the posts you realise that you’re not alone and there is light at the end of the tunnel. I should know I was in a similar position a couple of years ago, I owed around £15k to solicitors, banks, and store cards after a bad business venture. The guilt was terrible especially since it had an effect on my husband’s finances. But after a lot of hard work things are now a lot better and I feel in total control of my debts and finances.

    Ironically I work as a Credit Control Manager, responsible for collecting overdue debts. The worst thing to do is to ignore the debts, write to all the companies you owe money, explain your situation and make a lower payment offer that you can afford. If they are made aware of your situation they will come to an arrangement, but if you don’t inform them they cant help you. Your local CAB will be able to draft you a letter to send to all your creditors and sometimes they will contact them on your behalf.

    Hope you feel a little better by reading these posts
  • AndreaAndrea Forumite
    368 Posts
    I've been Money Tipped! Chutzpah Haggler Newshound! PPI Party Pooper
    To "Rather Not Say"

    Could you post a little note just to let us know you're OK? I hope things are looking up for you a bit since the other day.

    Take care,

    Andrea
  • SystemSystem Forumite, Community Admin
    177.9K Posts
    10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Forumite
    Hi,
    Just to let you know there is light at the end of that very dark tunnel. I too, got into £8,000 worth of debt as a student through credit and store cards and student loan. When I started working I added to this a further £7,000 bank loan thinking I could pay it all off with my newly aquired wage. I WAS WRONG - BIG TIME!!!! Solictors letters ensued and so I contacted the Consumer Credit Counselling Service. With a debt management plan created by them I have slowly paid off £10,000 in 3 years. By the end of this year all my store cards and credit cards will have been paid off and in 2005 everything will be paid off. My credit rating is returning and I have just got a new credit card which I use very cautiously. It was hard initally not be able to buy 'things' and I didn't have a holiday for 2 years but instead saved up and went to Australia this March - yes just by saving and not spending. I learnt money respect the hard way and I'm not going down that road again. Try the CCCS - it worked for me.
  • sezdavsezdav Forumite
    125 Posts
    Hi "Rather Not Say",

    Ive just read your post anad was wondering how youre doing now? I hope things are looking up and that you feel a bit nore in control. Anyway, it would be really great if you would give us an update.

    Sarah :-*
  • Hi "Rather not say"

    having read your message, i am deeply concerned that things are ok with you.

    i was in £15k debt myself and only 24 -- loans and credit cards etc. through working with various people like the "CAB" and with the help from friends on this site i have managed to bring everything into control again and am back to my cheery self.

    i realise that everyones situation is different and i dont want to seem patronising, but the great thing with this site is that you can recieve help and guidance and some rather good bargains ;)

    well enough rambling, please remeber that the members here have helped me and i am sure that the site will in time help bring some relief to the stress you have endoured.

    all the best and like said above, i hope that you recieve our messages and get in touch.

    Aiden
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