any help or pointers??

confusedone

this is a bit of a desperate post to write really, but any ideas would be truly appreciated. im am a 31 year old nurse, married to my wife 25 and a postie, and our son aged 3. we are in an awful situation, not living near family, and that route is not not an option for financial help. we live in a little terrraced house, work as much as we can and have decent jobs. we are trying to sell our house, for about 90,000, this will then leave us with 37000 debt. the 37000 is unsecured, but we have others secured on the house which will hopefully be paid off if the house sells (this is a big worry as a few percent less would cripple us if we were asked today for the remainder). we earn about 2400 pcm after tax, and are slowly slipping into debt by the day. we dont go out or live extravegant lifestyles but are (just) keeping heads above water. well on paper we would, if there werent those nice monthly surprises like car repairs, the rare family day out, which i know should be a priority a bit more, but.................. my wife has talked about suicide recently as a real option, it scared the hell out of me, she is crying quite a bit and to be honest all i feel i can do is 'be there' as i am feeling at the same level at times. we would never do it as we love each other and our son dearly, but to get to this level im desperately looking for options. i have started extra shifts, but can only maintain this for so long, have done 50+ hour weeks before and it is difficult but manageable, then the vicious circle of 'getting by' over a life really, which we feel due to debt we havent had for a long time. where do we go to look for help, on paper i think we could cover all the debt, so worried there really, considered bankrupcy, just not paying the mortgage. this shouldnt be like this, we work hard!!!! yes we got in this debt, that is another very long story and accept that we are here, and have tried paying and working our way out. 37000, when we sell our house is a lot to carry around. not sure if this is the right place to ask this. many thanks to any that can advise or point to someone..

deedee_3

Hi and welcome to the board.

The first thing the folks are going to ask you to do is complete an SOA. So take a deep breath, get a cuppa and sit down and work your way through this link

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

post it up here (make sure you format it to MSE.) and wait for the help to arrive.

Also ring one of the debt charities on Monday and talk through some options.

• Consumer Credit Counselling Service - Website: CCCS Telephone: 0800 138 1111
• National Debtline - Website: National Debtline Telephone: 0808 808 4000
• Citizens Advice Bureau - Website: Citizens Advice or visit your local CAB centre (find nearest)

• Christians Against Poverty
• PayPlan

cady

Im sorry things are not good at the moment and it does sound bad when you first start out but your in the right place and you have done the hardest but which is confronting your problem, get a cuppa do your SOA and you will see loads of people popping in to help.

System

Hi Confused, you have made the right move by 'realising' your situation. Before you sell your house, I would recommend talking to Nationaldebtline, CCCS or Payplan to see if you have any viable alternatives. ALso, I would check to see that arent any fees for settling any of your secure debts early. I am sorry to hear that your wife has spoke about suicide but that isnt the answer and I suspect that you both know that. There is a way out for you, there always is whic is why you must speak to one of the charities Ive suggested above. You will see that the support, advice and friendship that you encounter on Debtfreewannabe is second to none, you really are amongst equals, with people who understand and more importantly care. You will see that once you have posted your SOA how much money you can save from your monhtly spend will open your eyes and will reach out that hand of hope that you thought you would never see again. Focus on the future, not the past and everything will come to you. Come back soon and keep talking about things with us and I promise you will feel much better. Take Care Len

10past6

Hello confused and welcome to the forum :hello:

OK, lets deal with the priority issues, you and your wife's concerns, as has already been said, suicide is not the way out, yes, you may well say it as you see no alternative to your situation, but there is an alternative, and the members on this board will prove that.

There has been many, many, members is more serious situations than yourself, and still managed to come through it, I know that doesn't help the way you're both feeling right now, but just keep that thought in the back of your mind.

As has been suggested, contact one of the debt free charities, they will help you, and show you, there is light at the end of the tunnel, as for your debts, OK, the unsecured debts, are that, unsecured, no as important as the secured debts, as for those, well, no one is going to force you to sell your home, that's a pointless exercise, but they may well apply for a charging order, serious, but not serious enough to lose sleep over.

If you can post your SOA, it will be a start in helping you move forward.

amyandjon

Hello confusedone, dont be disheartend you have come to the right place.... relax have a cuppa do an soa then we can all have a look and put some pointers on .... worry about the mortgage and secured debt makesure thy are paid.... once the soa is up the more people can see and help theres always light at the end of the tunnel i too am a nurse and i am not doing extra hours its hell at times lol i do a little cleaning here and there make some extra pennies it helps .... hope to hear from you soon chin up Amy

Lorne

Hello and welcome to the forum,

I know what it feels like to be completely overwhelmed with debt, when we had out light bulb moment we were £80000 in debt including all our our student debts and also working for NHS it seemed like too big a mountain to climb. Get the teapot ready, sit down and face the music, do a statement of account and then speak to one of the agencies to get some advice. Through smarter money management and cutting our bills (saving over £11000 a year) we didn't need to sell our house (which at the time seemed the only way out) we have done freelance work, mystery shopping, used our skills in inventive ways (eg running conferences and training courses) we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Keep your head above water, work out the sums and get lots of advice about how to manage things better. Post your SOA on here for some instant advice.

Keep going, things can be fixed, good luck!

churchrat

hello there

just wanted to say hi, and that no amount of debt is worth dying over. As the others have said, a debt free charity is your best place to start, cccs seem to get the most votes!
You really have done the worst part, and that is adding it all up and assessing your position. Are you going to post a soa? there are some very clever people on here who will look at it for you. I know it must seem as tho "whats the point of saving pennies when we are in debt by thousands" but, believe me , it all does help.

Or perhaps your wife could look at this site, go thro some old posts and see how far people have come? it can help to see that poeple who are coping now where once where you are standing. 6 yrs ago we owed about 61K and had trouble paying the mortgage, and while we are not debt free yet we are nearly there.

Pay the mortgage, council tax and utilities. Take enough out to live on for the rest of the month. Put aside enough for car tax etc and see what you have left. This can be done.
good luck

Jacks_xxx

First of all honey please let me say that I totally understand that you and your wife are feeling desperately distressed and I empathise. Like many people on this board I have been where you are now.

But...

if you are prepared to put in some time and effort there are loads of options open to you - most of which won't involve losing your home.

Martin Lewis - who is after all known as the Moneysaving *expert* - says he's never heard of a debt problem that couldn't be solved.

Also just so you know that I'm not talking out of my bottom two years ago tomorrow I had just worked out that we owed £97,600 in unsecured debt plus a £91,000 mortgage on a joint monthly income of £2644 with two teenagers and a grumpy cat to feed!

All I could do was stare at the numbers and keep repeating Oh. My. God. over and over again.

But thanks to the fab advice and unflagging support on this site and a bit of hard work and research we are on schedule to be debt free in the New Year of 2009. (and then we tackle the mortgage!)

So here's the plan:

Call CCCS for support and factual advice with no axe to grind or profit making in mind:

http://www.cccs.co.uk/contact/contact.aspx

Whilst you're waiting for the CCCS in-depth telephone appointment fill out their Debt Remedy tool to get an idea of what options you should be looking at:

https://www.cccs.co.uk/DebtRemedy/(S(1d3ferfsulrvk345x5ptljzs))/Start.aspx

Get a whole Statement of Affairs together detailing all money coming in and all money going out (someone earlier included a good link)

If you post that on here we'll all make suggestions for where you could maybe get a better deal, or do things differently.

A good read on Moneysaving Old Style might give you some ideas for how to spend less on the supermarket shopping. (It changed my life! )

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=33

Have a good read around here honey there are loads of us who have been where you are and come out the other side and I hope it gives you hope that it can work for you too.

I don't have a magic wand and it takes work and effort but there's plenty of proof on here that it can be done.

Love Jacks xxx

PS also check out entitled to to make sure you're getting all that you are um.. entitled to.

http://www.entitledto.co.uk/

confusedone

hey well all thanks for the direction so far, here is a copy of my card here

[tt]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1600
Partners monthly income after tax....... 640
Benefits................................ 108
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2348

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 551.7
Secured loan repayments................. 73.5
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 81.15
Electricity............................. 36
Gas..................................... 30
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 24.66
Telephone (land line)................... 15
Mobile phone............................ 40
TV Licence.............................. 9.95
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 30
Groceries etc. ......................... 300
Clothing................................ 50
Petrol/diesel........................... 250
Road tax................................ 20
Car Insurance........................... 84
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 25
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 140
Other child related expenses............ 40
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 20
Buildings insurance..................... 25
Contents insurance...................... 25
Life assurance ......................... 30
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 40
Haircuts................................ 15
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1955.96

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 88000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 3500
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 91500

Secured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 0........(551.7)....7.48
Secured Debt.................. 0........(73.5).....7.48
Total secured debts........... 0.........-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
unsecured loan.................13404.1...117.5.....0
unsecured loan.................0.........162.4.....7.48
Total unsecured debts..........13404.1...279.9.....-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,348
Expenses (including secured debts)....... 1,955.96
Available for debt repayments........... 392.04
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 279.9
Surplus(deficit if negative)............ 112.14

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 91,500
Total Secured debt...................... -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -13,404.1
Net Assets.............................. 78,095.9

Created using the SOA calculator at https://www.makesenseofcards.com. [/tt]



i have not put the mortgage in but collectively the mortgage and the secured loan come to 86,000 almost to the pound. the house is worth about 89,000 but realistically it is a mess and will get about 87,000 top end. We do want to sell as we are in an awful house, long long story but it is a cause of much unhapiness, and we are still unsure where to live in the country as we are far away from anyone we know, but have jobs here and like the area. plus we already have it on the market, so have to find 300 for the HIP regardless now (it is deferred for 10 months). plus if we sell for 86,000 there will be solicitors fees for selling and when we find somewhere to rent, plus removals and bond etc. seems neverending. To be honest i think if we could just stop doing other things or have any surprises we could break even, but this will be for about 25 years (well the unsecured loan certainly, plus rent or mortgage wherever we turn. The mortgage may look high percentage, it has just gone up as our fixed term has just ended this month, but we cant really get another one, as we would be looking for a 100% minimum im guessing, with northern rock and they arent offering anything else understandably, PLUS if we did, and sold it, say in the next 6 months (hopefully), then we would be heavily penalised as this would be in the early stages of a 'new' mortgage.

Please be as honest as you can, i will not take offence in any way, i just now honestly feel that this is me for a very long time, or worse as time goes on. we can maintain this at present ish, but school, uniforms, plus general living etc. ill stop now. many thanks if you have read this far, thanks for all your time, alan.

Jacks_xxx

:wave: Hi again hon,

The first thing I want to say to you honey is that things change.

People get pay rises or windfalls, people change jobs, kids go to school and eventually leave home, the housing market fluctuates and makes remortgaging and selling easier.

If you follow some of the advice offered on this board you are not looking at barely breaking even for the next 25 years I promise you.

Two years and one day ago we owed £96700 in unsecured debt.

Today thanks to the advice and support I received on this board often from people who had been in my shoes, some hard work - and a bit of luck we'll be free and clear in a few short months.

To do this we had to challenge every bit of spending and ask why we were spending money on *that* rather than paying our debts.

And I think you guys need to do the same.

One of the first things to go should maybe be the mobile phones.

We don't really need 'em and we don't need to be spending almost £500 a year on them when we are in a mess financially. Even if you are under contract it's often still possible to get out of it if you hand the phone back.

Next the Birthdays and Christmas budget is going to have to be ruthlessly culled.

Luckily your son is only little so you might be able to get him something fab for free from the freecycle website or secondhand on eBay. Any adults you buy for should understand your situation- there's a credit crunch going on Y'know! :rolleyes:

Next, you've got to be able to get a better deal for landline and internet than the £45 a month / £540 a year you're currently spending. Shop around honey. I know sky and Virgin do phone TV and internet bundles from £16 a month.

£250 a month is a heck of a lot of money to be spending on petrol. You're going to have to reduce unnecessary trips and maybe look for something with better fuel economy. My hubby does 600 - 700 miles a week on about £210 a month in our 2L diesel old heap.

While we're on the subject of cars - Could you free up some cash by selling yours and buying an old banger?

(We sold both of ours and bought one old heap. It only lasted us a year before we had to buy another but it saved us SO much money!)

Another area to look at is your Grocery spend. I reckon with a bit of meal planning and changing some of your buying habits you could shave £50 a month off of that without really feeling it.

Also forgive me cos my kid are teenagers now so I'm a bit out of touch - but is every single penny of the £140 on childcare / nursery and £40 child related expenses unquestionably non optional?

Anything you could shave off of that would help.

Also look at haircuts - I cut my sons hair, my hubby bought clippers for his and I have encouraged my daughter to grow hers long so that we can still afford for me to go and get a haircut a few times a year! (That sounds so mean doesn't it?!)

And finally, keep a track of your spending for a month or so to find out where that surplus is going cos that surplus, plus the savings you make on your bills is what's going to get you out of debt.

Get all the debt info together - how much you still owe, what the interest rate is and whether it's a flexible loan that you can make overpayments on or not.

Then check out the snowball calculator

http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx

It can be a bit scary, but you need to know exactly how much of a pickle you're in.

Ours said we'd be making repayments well into 2028 when we first filled it in, but after some time and lots of changes the end date just kept getting nearer and nearer.

And if you haven't phoned CCCS yet - do it now sweetie.

Love Jacks xxx